Run Lindsay, Run

Calf Pain?

2011-05-24T10:42:00.000-04:00

So my running has had to be delayed this week because of some calf pain, and it's really frustrating!

I think I've mentioned before that my right calf has been bothering me - it feels different to shin splints (which I've had before). The pain is deeper in the calf, along the bone, but more on the inside of the leg rather than the front. From what I'm reading it could be caused by road running (which I don't really have too many options for), improper stretching or not enough stretching (which I have been doing), or my shoes (which is probably the main culprit).

Has anyone run into this before? (no pun intended)

Normally, I'd just run on it, but it's sore all the time (whether I'm standing on it or not) unless I take aspirin, and then it's only sore when I put pressure on it. The stairs are particularly painful.

I just rested it yesterday and applied heat, but today I'm applying ice and elevating it while working at my desk. Any other suggestions? I think new sneakers will be in order. Plus, I'm planning to take a long walk today and do some yoga, which should keep me active without putting my leg through too much impact.

I'd love to get some feedback. I don't want to take too much time off (and won't if you don't think it will lead to further injury), but I also don't want to make things any worse! Today would be the third day in a row I haven't run, and I'm getting antsy.

I've also heard that calf compression can help - I do have some compression socks, which maybe I could wear while running too (as cool as that looks!).

Thoughts?

Will a 30-minute run ever feel "easy?"

2011-05-21T22:18:00.000-04:00

This turned out to be a four-run week, as I expected. I ran again on Thursday, this time doing 2.6 miles in about 30 minutes, an 11:32 pace. When I look back on Wednesday's run, I think I was actually closer to this distance and time, and just mis-mapped it. So there's no excuse for me being tired after all!

The run felt pretty good, although I must admit that my legs are really killing me lately. I don't know if it's that I ran 2.6-ish miles two days and walked another three miles both days, or if it was the travel, or what, but my legs were really sore on Friday.

Fortunately, they haven't been jittery like I've had in the past, but they are really sore. Despite that, I knew I wanted to run today, so I forced myself to head out - it was warmer and really humid today, so going for a run at 11:30 wasn't the best time. Now that it's heating up, I'm going to have to start running much earlier. You may know that I'm really not a fan of getting up early, but I found that even with legs that feel dead, I'm starting to *need* to run. (When did THAT happen!?!?)

So anyway, I drove to a local park with a small pond and ran for thirty minutes again. I did five laps around what turned out to be a 0.54 mile path, giving me a 2.7 mile run. I was at an 11:14 pace, so I am running slow (I need to speed up!).

I'm also seeing how much of my running struggles are mental. On Tuesday, I really didn't believe I could make the thirty minutes. And I didn't. But on Wednesday, I just decided I would. And I did. There was nothing majorly different between the two days or how my body was feeling - it was all mental.

Thursday was the same - I knew I'd run thirty minutes the day before, so why couldn't I do it again? And today, I started out the run feeling really sore - my knees hurt, my hips hurt, my right calf hurt...but I was determined to get the full thirty minutes in, and I did. That felt great, even if I've felt sore the rest of the day!

I'm not sure why I'm so tired and sore, and I'm hoping that someday, a thirty minute run will feel like an "easy" run. I think I just need to keep at it, and keep pushing myself and we'll see how it goes! Tomorrow is definitely a recovery day and then Monday I should be back to my regularly scheduled running at home!

I've also decided to add in some real yoga practices (I've been doing some stretching and light yoga, but I need to really push that). It's a great counter-workout to running, and my legs could use some better stretching. A friend suggested just giving myself two days a week to start with when I have to do the yoga (and at a set-aside time) and just committing to it, and I think that method will work best for me. So I'll say it here - Tuesdays and Thursdays will be my yoga days and let's see if that helps my running aches!

Another San Francisco Run

2011-05-18T23:48:00.000-04:00

Today dawned much brighter here in San Francisco, and you know I prefer running when it's sunny and cool out! There's just something about a crisp spring day that motivates me to get out there.

I was determined that today's run would be the full thirty minutes. I've got to start adding some time/mileage onto my runs, so I need to make sure my base is solid. So I pushed myself. I did feel like I was running a bit fast a few times, and I may need to look into a monitor so I have a better idea of my pacing. I just feel like I'm a bit off lately, when I can usually sense what it is my body is doing/feeling.

But anyway, I ran along the Embarcadero again today, and with my neck feeling a bit better (thank you Bayer, Icy Hot, and heat wraps plus yoga & stretching) I thought I'd be in better shape than yesterday. I did want to give up more than once. Like, a lot.

I kept running though and tried to focus on the beautiful scenery, breathing deeply, and settling my body into the run. I'm not sure that I ever accomplished the latter, but I did make it the full thirty minutes with no stopping. I also ran sans knee braces today, because yesterday they kept slipping down, which was really distracting. I really need to get some new sneakers, and get them properly fitted....soon, soon.

Okay, so I just mapped my run, and it was about 2.94 miles in 30 minutes 6 seconds - a 10:14 pace. So that IS faster than I needed to be running today! (And here I thought I was running so slow - no wonder I was so tired).

At any rate, after my run, I walked down to Howard Street to the Starbucks there, and was loving standing in line with all the customers in suits while sweat was dripping down my face. But a lovely orange mango smoothie did the trick and set me up for the rest of the day.

Later in the day, after our business lunch and doing some work, I spent about an hour and a half wandering up and down the Embarcadero to take some pictures - I went almost the same distance walking as I did running, and the funny thing was that there were SO many more runners out this afternoon! I mean, I went running this morning at 10, so most people should have been at work anyway, but this morning, I felt like I was the only runner out there, dodging tourists left and right. And this afternoon, I felt like I was the only one NOT running, and I was dodging runners left and right!

I actually felt guilty for not running this afternoon...despite doing my run this morning. Do you ever feel that way?

It felt pretty good to be wandering around with so many people enjoying the fresh air - a lot of people were on bikes or running, and I wish that was more popular by me! All the runners looked to be in such great shape too - very muscly legs. I really hope that will be me someday, and that I'll be able to run without looking and feeling like I'm about to keel over! One run at a time...

Tomorrow, I've got to fit in one more run, a business breakfast, and some work before flying back home. I want to get one more run in before the end of the week, and next week, I'll be running up at my parents - I'm thinking of running at a park near them, so we'll see how that goes!

Running in San Fran

2011-05-17T19:25:00.000-04:00

Here I am in San Francisco again, and this time, I'm running it.

But before I get into that - over the weekend, I went for a jog with my college roommate. If you knew the two of us well, you'd really get a kick out of this, because it was a running joke (no pun intended) that she was not that athletic and I hated running. In fact, one year, she got one-pound weights and sweatbands as a joke Christmas gift.

In the last few years though, she's been going to the gym, doing yoga, and working with a trainer, who got her started with running. So she suggested we go for a run Saturday morning while we were having a college girls' weekend.

Our friend's husband pointed us to a bike trail nearby that we could run on, and we decided to do about thirty minutes. I hadn't run that long all week, so I was hoping I could manage it, but it helped that she's a slower runner, so I could better pace myself. We chatted and ran the whole thirty minutes, and agreed that we felt GREAT when we were done - really nice addition to the weekend!

My plan was to take Sunday and Monday off because of having to fit in a bunch of stuff, and then run this week in San Francisco on Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday and either Friday and Saturday back home. I flew in yesterday, and before I left, I managed to tweak my neck.

For some background - a few years ago, I ended up with a pinched nerve in my neck. I'm not sure how it happened, but I actually think it's a result of a car accident my friend Sage and I were in while we were in college (we were stopped to make a left turn and a car plowed into the van that was stopped behind us and both of us ended up with some whiplash). Anyway, it was so bad that I couldn't sit at my desk for more than a few hours, and I ended up working while lying in bed with my laptop on my chest.

Eventually, I had to be put on some painkillers to allow muscles to relax enough that the nerve slipped back into place. Every once in a while, I get some pain there, but normally nothing serious and after a few days, it's gone. Normally, it's because I'm lifting things that are just a bit too heavy or carrying a heavy purse too much.

Well, yesterday, I'm not sure what started it off, but what pushed it over the edge was jumping up from the kitchen table funny to check and see if there was a squirrel at the bird feeder. I know, I'm awesome.

And unfortunately, it's put me in levels of pain that I haven't felt since I first pinched it. I can't get comfortable, the muscles are screaming, and lying down seems to be the only relief I get. But my hotel is pretty much right on the Embarcadero here in San Fran, so I could run outside instead of at the gym. And I've been feeling really antsy and wanted to run outside.

I figured I'd just do an easy run and see how it went. And honestly, it wasn't so bad - my neck didn't hurt any more or less than when I'm sitting up doing nothing. It was a tough run though, so I just tried to take it slow and enjoy it. I ran about 25 minutes total, with some walking breaks (and a break to take a phone call when the person refused to leave me a voicemail and just called me three times in a row instead). Am I really happy with today's run? No, I'm not.

But I'm out of my element, running on crowded sidewalks in an unfamiliar city (I've been here three times, but never run here), so the main thing was that I went out and did it. And I've got two more days to run here too!

So let's hope my neck settles back in. I stopped at a Walgreens on my way back to the hotel to pick up those neck heating patches, some icy hot, and some aspirin (I only have Excedrin, which you're not supposed to take more than once a day). I can't take ibuprofen because it's counter-indicated for something else I'm on, so aspirin it is. We'll see how it goes - but keep your fingers crossed because I'm already fed up with the pain and it's only been 24 hours. I had big plans to walk around the city today, but I think some more rest is in order so that I'm in better shape for tomorrow (when the weather should be better anyway!).

I Let a Bad Run Get the Better of Me

2011-05-12T11:59:00.000-04:00

I needed to run today.

I'm not going to have time to run tomorrow, and although I've got a run planned with a friend on Saturday, that leaves me with only four runs for the whole week, two of which were already only two miles.

So although I have a LOT to do, and am stressed out about doing it (and maybe because of that), I needed to run.

I headed out, planning to run about 2 1/2 miles. As soon as I started, I was sore, my back hurt, my legs hurt, my knee hurt, I felt like it was humid and I could just feel the exhaustion set it. So I basically gave up. I told myself I'd only run a mile instead of the 2 1/2 I had planned.

Now, granted, I did run FAST today (fast for me, that is). I ran 1.01 miles in 10:06, which is a 10:02 pace. I haven't run that fast in two years. But I didn't pace myself better to start with, which made me feel more tired more quickly and I gave up.

My lesson for today for myself is that everyone has bad days and bad runs. At least I went out there for those ten minutes instead of skipping the run altogether. I also need to remember that two years ago, this was right when I lost focus and started to give up - started to hate to run. I don't want that to happen again, so if I needed to give myself a break today rather than push myself too hard, I guess that's okay.

I'll be back with a vengeance next week.

Tough Runs and Chocolate Milk

2011-05-11T17:45:00.000-04:00

I ran two miles again today, and although it felt like a really punishing run, I was actually enjoying it! That really surprised me because usually I just want to get a tough run over with. Maybe I'm turning a running corner...

My run today was a fast one too - 2.1 miles in 20:40, for about a 10:15 pace - pretty good! Let's see if I can keep that up.

Also, I learned recently that drinking a glass of chocolate milk when you get back from a run is a good idea, because it has the perfect combination of protein to carbohydrates. Regular milk doesn't have sugar in it, but chocolate milk does. I go for the lowfat kind, of course, and it does taste good after a hard run!

Not too much else to report today. Another run tomorrow, hopefully back around three miles and then I'm planning to run with a friend this weekend. Next week, I'll be running one day at my parents' and most of the rest of the week in San Francisco! So that will be exciting to report on!

Race Report

2011-05-10T14:33:00.000-04:00

I'd been waiting to post this until they got the race results up - and they finally did, but they've put everyone as running 1 mile instead of three. I'd REALLY have to walk slowly to get a 33 minute mile!

Why yes, I did wear compression socks the
night before!

At any rate, Saturday was a beautiful day for the River to Bay 5k. I woke up around six and did about thirty minutes of stretching. My body had been so sore the day before from cleaning the entire house and getting the yard squared away, so I'd done some yoga and stretching before going to bed, and repeated it when I got up. It was a nice, relaxed way to get ready for the race.

Then, I had my oatmeal and apple for breakfast - and I think this was a mistake (at least the apple was). Although it was still about ninety minutes before race time, the apple made me feel a bit sluggish. Next time, I'll just go with a banana, no oatmeal!

I got ready and headed out the door by 7:15, and got to the race around 7:45 - check in started at 7:30, and the one mile "fun run" was going to be at 8:15. This was followed by a one mile health walk at 8:20 and the 5k at 9:00. I got my bag and race number, did some more stretching and wandered around until it was race time. My body was feeling really refreshed and relaxed - I was definitely nervous, but not sore.

My number!

Finally, we started to get ready at the start, and this was where it was unfortunate that we don't get chips for this race - those of us who don't start *right* at the start line get messed up on timing. So I started my own timer when I crossed the start line (though, of course, I managed to forget to stop it until after I'd crossed the finish!).

The gun sounded and we were off! I started off a bit fast, but that was on purpose. I was feeling really good, so I thought I could set a faster pace. And I definitely paid for it, but all in all it wasn't a bad run. As we started, I remembered the course from two years ago, and that helped. I managed to stay in my own head and run my race - at least for the first mile.

Although sunny days are not always preferable for running
it was beautiful!

I did the first mile in 10:25 - the first year I ran the race, it was 10:47, so not bad! I felt pretty good for most of it, and reminded myself how tough the first mile usually is. The second mile was the hardest - I knew the hill was coming up in mile three (or the end of two, I wasn't sure at the time), and I was starting to feel a little fatigued. Plus, you know you still have another mile and a tenth to go when you're running mile 2, so it definitely feels like the longest!

Mile 2 was completed in 10:49 - also better than the 11:04 I had in 2009. Not bad for less training time and being sick in the middle of training! (I think it helped that I've upped my runs to 4-5 per week) Mile 3 was also a killer, if for no other reason than the huge hill in it. I had made it my goal to run the whole race and not walk - but that hill really almost did me in. But I pushed myself and kept going. It was here that I started to feel a bit disheartened though - it can be a bummer when you're running and still not passing people in front of you who are doing the run/walk combo!

I tried to keep pace with a girl that seemed to be running about my speed, and that helped me keep going through mile 3. With half a mile left to go (so I'd run 0.6 of a mile), I had done 7:01 minutes (slower than 2009, which was 6:27). I couldn't wait to see the 3 mile sign!

Getting ready to race

At the three mile sign, I was at 10:37 - pretty good, considering the hill was a big part of this mile. I pushed myself to keep going on that last tenth of a mile. As we saw the finish line come into sight, the girl next to me tried to pass me with a burst of speed (according to the results, she's a 28 year old) - but I put on a huge burst of speed that I didn't even know I had left in me, and passed her, and the couple with the running stroller. My official time came in at 33:03:99, and I know that's high (that would be a 10:38 pace, or five seconds slower per mile than in 2009). I stopped my timer after I'd started walking past the finish at 32:56:5, and I really wish I'd stopped it at the finish, so I knew what my real time was! But I think it's not that far off from my race time in 2009 of 32:47. Let's see if I can beat it next year!

The guy with the flag outfit finishing!

The 32:56 puts my pace at 10:35 per mile, or 3 seconds off my 2009 pace, and since it's definitely off, I'm guessing I was pretty close to my race time in 2009.

So according to the stats, I came in 323rd place and was 158/293 women, and 33/56 in my age group of 30-34. These stats do beat my 2009 ones, because of the larger entry pool this year - I came in in the top 54% of women, whereas I came in in the top 67% of women in 2009. And I came in in the top 59% in my age group, whereas I came in in the top 60% of my age group in 2009. There were 506 finishers this year, in comparison to 260 in 2009, so I came in in the top 64% this year, as opposed to the top 75% in 2009. I've got to be pretty happy with that!

Plus, I was really pleased that I'd come in faster than the woman who was about eight months pregnant, and the guy wearing an entire flag outfit and carrying a flag. And I came in before quite a few younger women and even some kids! So that makes me happy. Small goals.

Starting to see some lovely muscle in my calves!

Now I've got to work hard at not getting lethargic about running the way I did after my first two 5k's in 2009. I took two recovery days, and in fact, went for a lovely massage yesterday (which actually left me feeling MORE sore than I was after racing!). My plan is to take it easy today and just do about two miles, and then three the rest of the week. Then, I am thinking about upping my mileage a bit, and Cool Running finally has plans for that, so we'll see how it goes!

PS: I did my two miles today (actually 2.06) and think I should have started with one mile back instead - man were my legs exhausted! However, I did have a 10:26 pace, which is fast for me, so I guess I can't complain! Tomorrow will also be a 2-mile run I think!

Last Run Before Race Day

2011-05-04T18:22:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I know you've all been waiting with bated breath to see if I ran today or not.

It's very funny - every time I don't feel like running, and I do anyway, I am always glad I did afterwards. Funny how that works, huh? Fortunately, the last couple of months, every time I don't feel like running, I make myself do it. I used to be much more lax with myself than I am now, which I think is a good thing!

But today, I really didn't want to run. When I got up, it was dark and rainy, and then the thunder rolled in. I've run in rain before, but I haven't really wanted to the last few months. Today was also forty (yes, forty) degrees cooler than yesterday. I just wasn't feeling it, even though my legs were feeling a LOT better.

I kept my running clothes on all day, and did the debate in my head - "maybe I'll take three recovery days before the race on Saturday," "maybe I'll skip today and run tomorrow instead," "maybe I'll just do yoga today instead." And on and on.

Finally, around five, the sun actually started to come out (it went back in again pretty quickly though). And I got my butt outside for a run. It was a far better run than yesterday, thanks to my legs feeling better and the cooler temps. I was still pretty tired by the end of it, but I pushed myself - whereas yesterday, I ran 2.71 miles in 33 minutes (with three of those minutes spent walking), today, I ran 2.89 miles in 30:47 - a 10:40 pace. Not too bad.

I'm still slower than I'd like to be, but such is life. I'm not going to shave tons of time off my run before Saturday, and as long as I can run the whole race, I'll be happy. I've got to run .21 miles more on Saturday than I did today, so I'm thinking I'll come in right around 34 minutes (I hope). We'll see how it turns out!

The next two days are recovery days, which I think will be spent walking, maybe doing some light yoga, and definitely using my compression socks to get me in race day shape. I'll let you know how it goes!

A Killer Run - T-minus 4 Days Until My 5k

2011-05-03T14:50:00.000-04:00

Today's run was killer.

It's been an hour since I finished it, and I still feel a bit like throwing up.

I woke up this morning actually MORE sore than yesterday. I really wanted to make it a walking day again, but with my race on Saturday, I knew that at least mentally, I had to know I'd be able to do it. So running it was.

My plan was to run for thirty minutes, unless I got a leg cramp, in which case, I would walk. Fortunately, there was no muscle spasms to be seen (though the day's not over yet), but after fifteen minutes, I had to take a three minute walking break. Between the heat and humidity today, and the sheer exhaustion of my hamstrings, I just couldn't do the full thirty in a row.

The second fifteen minutes running were the absolute worst minutes I've ever spent running. I kept wanting to stop to walk, but I knew how exhausted I felt after my first walking break, and didn't think I'd be able to force myself to start up again. So I just kept going. I think it was the longest fifteen minutes of my life.

But I was really glad I did it. I might be singing a different tune tomorrow (especially since I'm already having trouble getting out of my office chair), but for now, I'm glad I pushed myself and got the run out of the way. I plan to run thirty (hopefully consecutively) tomorrow, and then just walk on Thursday and Friday to give myself some time to heal in time for Saturday's race. We'll see how I do.

As my mom reminded me this morning, I don't do the 5k's for any competitive reason (maybe against myself, but that's it). It's not as though I'm at the point where I'm looking to come in the top 5 for my age group or anything like that - I'm just looking to finish the race, and run the whole thing. So I can take it a bit easy on myself here and just enjoy running rather than trying to punish myself.

I mapped the run, and it looks like I'm at 2.71 miles in 33 minutes, which is a 12:11 pace - it's kind of hard to tell what my actual running pace was, since this includes three minutes of walking, but I'll take slow and steady today considering how my legs feel!

Too Sore to Run

2011-05-02T14:06:00.000-04:00

So, as I mentioned on Friday, my plan was to take Saturday and Sunday off from running, and start my thirty minute runs today. I was really sore on Friday, still sore on Saturday, and feeling a bit better yesterday...until I decided it was necessary to assemble the raised bed in my back garden.

Plus, because I'm awesome, I'd tweaked my back while putting on deodorant yesterday (no, I'm not sure how that happened), so I was sore to begin with. And clearing out an 11' x 3' section of yard from weeds and snakes (yes, there was a snake) was exhausting. I followed that with assembling the bed, and moving roughly 1,000 pounds of dirt (no exaggeration) into it. I was feeling sore last night, but this morning, I was really feeling it.

My arms are really sore and tired, but I don't need them for running. I do however need my hamstrings, which are also right at about pre-spasm level. And my back is killing me.

So I mentioned on Facebook that I thought I'd be taking an unscheduled day off, and a friend suggested that I walk the 5k distance instead - it would be good for me to do it, and I wouldn't totally be taking the day off. So I did. I ended up walking 3.48 miles in 53 minutes (about a 15:12 pace, not bad) and I'm glad I did. I'm still all kinds of sore, but at least I moved my body today, which should help me be less sore for tomorrow....when I MUST run.

Wish me luck!

Five Runs in Five Days - My Legs are on Strike

2011-04-29T09:47:00.001-04:00

Okay, so it was a bit ambitious of me to want to do five runs in five days, when this is only my second week of running five days, and only my third week of more than 3 runs. My legs hate me right now. But I feel good!

After starting the week with two 25-minute runs, I ramped up my time to 28 minutes for Wednesday-Friday. And those three minutes really did tire me out quite a bit, especially on Wednesday. Wednesday's weather was a bit iffy - I decided I was going to head out on my run in the early afternoon and checked the Weather Channel's website. It said 0% chance of precipitation.

As I walked downstairs, heavy downpour.

Ah, weather people. But fortunately, it only lasted a few minutes, and after that it was just misting. So I went for my run anyway. My legs were really feeling exhausted, so I wasn't sure how I was going to survive the rest of the week, but it turns out that sheer willpower has a lot to do with it.

Then yesterday, we were getting the remnants of what's been trouncing the south - lots of prayers sent out to everyone affected by the tornadoes. It's really been so heartbreaking to watch, and my thoughts are with everyone affected.

For us here at the beach, we ended up with mostly high winds, not too much rain. Because they were forecasting some severe weather, I went out for my run early and the wind just killed me. I felt like I was running in place a few times! Just brutal. I ran into my neighbor when I arrived back home, who said "You're ambitious!" and suggested I should take a break. But I already knew I was taking two recovery days this weekend, so I couldn't slouch today - only one more week until the 5k!

This morning, I was up before dawn at 4:30 to watch the coverage of the Royal Wedding. I am half-English after all and have the passport to prove it! While waiting for the new royal couple to come out on the balcony for their first kiss as man and wife, I headed out for my last run of the week. And it is beautiful outside! Cool, sunny, with enough of a breeze to (mostly) keep me from overheating.

I mapped my run from Wednesday, and was really disappointed to see that I was running at an 11:22 pace. I mean, I know I've been running slow, but 11:22? Really? I know I'm a bit less trained than I was for the last time I did this particular 5k, but I had a 10:33 pace for that one, and I was kind of hoping to be close to that.

At any rate, I pushed myself a bit today, even though my legs were not fresh and my knees were quite sore, and ended up with a 10:46 pace. Not bad! I'll be curious to see how I do on Monday after two days of rest, and ramping up to 30 minutes of running.

My plan for next week is to run the first three days - thirty minutes each day - and then take Thursday and Friday to recover before Saturday's 5k. I think that will put me in good shape, but we'll see how it goes!

A Knees Update

2011-04-26T16:29:00.000-04:00

I got in my two 25-minute runs this week already as planned. It's been a bit more on the hot and humid side, which has made running a bit tougher - but I've been doing it anyway! Let's see if I can keep it up through the summer, when I'll have to get up early to run.

Yesterday's run was tough again on my knees, so I decided to pick up a couple of knee braces at Target yesterday. I found two sport ones, one with breathable fabric on the back and one with side spines for extra support. I gave them a try on today's run, and the one with side spines definitely made a big difference.

I used it on my right knee, which didn't hurt at all while I was running! The left knee still did, so obviously, it's not enough support and I'll have to think about getting another brace. They did seem to shift the way I run though because the muscles in my calves were screaming at me pretty much from the beginning. But I pushed through and made it all the way to 25 minutes.

Of course, when I was done, I was literally drenched in sweat, which was lovely. But there's been a nice breeze the rest of the day, so I've been basking in that at my desk to cool off.

Let's hope these braces help my sore knees! Tomorrow, it's on to 28 minutes of running!

My Love-Hate Relationship with Running....and my 100th Post!

2011-04-25T10:49:00.000-04:00

Today's post is my 100th post here at Run Lindsay, Run, which is pretty exciting! That means I've run over 100 days - something I never thought I'd do, much less enjoy.

I did do five runs last week, taking Tuesday and Sunday off. I'm ramping up my length of time running as well this coming week, because I'm trying to get in a few 30 minute runs before the 5k on the 7th. As I was running this week, I realized I have a love-hate relationship with running.

I start running after my warm up, and immediately the thoughts of "I hate this, why am I doing this?" set in. My knees hurt, a pain shoots up my right shin, I'm tired already and I cannot, for the life of me, remember why I force myself to do this. This feeling continues for at least half of the run, especially if there's no walking break (actually, it's worse when there IS a walking break, because I don't want to start up again!).

But eventually, I settle into it and find my pace. I'm still tired and sore, and often way out of breath lately because of the residual coughing after the beginnings of bronchitis. But I believe that I can make it the rest of the way, and once I do and I start my cool down walk, I feel great! My legs HURT, but I feel like I accomplished something and I think "I love running!"

I'm hoping one day I'll just love it, without the hating it part. I do find that it helps me relax, it gets rid of a lot of stress, and the endorphins are great too. But some days, I'm tired just thinking about heading out there.

But anyway. The plan for this week is another five days - I don't think my knees could take more than that! I've got plans this weekend, so I'm going to run all five weekdays this week, and take two recovery days. I really needed yesterday's recovery day - my legs feel far better today than when I woke up yesterday. I'm up to 25 minutes running, which I'll do today and tomorrow, and then Wednesday-Friday I'm ramping up to 28 minutes. Hopefully the weather cooperates!

Also, does anyone have any advice for sore knees? I know it's because I'm running on the road, but there isn't a soft track nearby, and I really prefer running by the water (the beach itself is too small to run there). So any suggestions for how to take care of my knees a bit better?

Three Runs in Four Days...Yes, Really

2011-04-18T14:17:00.000-04:00

Well, I seem to have finally found my groove again! I've run three times in the past four days and I'm feeling pretty good about it today.

Friday's run was my first 20-minute run back and I was a bit nervous. I knew I could do it, unlike the first time I did it, so there were no excuses. As I started, I felt the familiar exhaustion I've been having and started to get a bit worried. Then I remembered that the first mile was always the hardest, and just tried to settle into my rhythm. I finally found it.

I'm still coughing a bit and having to use my inhaler, so I think that makes me more tired than I would be otherwise, but I'm just focusing on being slow and steady. I got the twenty minutes done, and I was really happy with that.

Friday night, I was reading an article about a woman who is running three miles a day while pregnant. I know this is a controversial issue, but I follow a blogger/triathlete who worked out her entire pregnancy and has a healthy baby boy - it's not for everyone, but I'm not debating it here. The woman I was reading about ordinarily runs five miles a day, so I thought that if she was running three every day while pregnant, I could probably run more than three days a week. Mentally, it's good for me. And physically too.

So I decided I'd repeat Friday's workout on Saturday. I had high hopes for it, until I remembered that the weather was supposed to be nightmare-ish. Plus, I'd learned that my cable/phone/internet were all out, so I was waiting for the cable guy. But I was determined to get it in.

I managed to get the dog walked early, before the rain, and miracle of miracles, the cable guy came within the first half hour of the four hour window they'd given me. He was finished pretty quickly, so I thought I'd better head out why it still looked dry. But as I left, the rain started spitting and the wind had picked up considerably.

I mostly skipped my five-minute warm up because it was so cold and nasty out, and I thought I'd warm up faster if I was running. It was truly miserable for the first ten minutes - it was cold, the wind was so strong I thought I was running in place a few times, and the rain was stinging. But I kept going and when I turned around to come back, the wind was mercifully at my back.

So because it was an extra run, I was really happy that I'd gotten out there to do it! I gave myself Sunday off, and originally planned to run six days this week. But since I tend to overdo a good thing too quickly, and then give it up, I think I'll just add in an extra day of running this week (for a total of five days).

Today's run almost didn't happen. I woke up feeling exhausted this morning. I can't figure out why - I'm getting more than eight hours of sleep a night, ate a good breakfast and lunch, am drinking enough water - but at any rate, by the time I needed to get out there, I was really not feeling so hot. I think some of it might be the strange dreams I'm having lately - I think it means I'm not getting as deep a sleep as I need.

But I've found that running sometimes makes me feel less tired and a bit better, so I thought I'd better get out there before I lost my nerve. Today's run was back to intervals - five minutes running, three walking, eight running, three walking, five running. The first mile again was tough (and that's like half the run), so I keep wondering whether I'll make it.

It's kind of amazing what I end up accomplishing physically that my mind is constantly telling me that I can't. I not only made it through all the intervals, but I settled into a good pace in the second half and finished feeling good. I'm definitely feeling some twinging in my right knee, which I'll keep an eye on - last night, I put my leg up on the counter to put some cream on my calf and my knee made a crunching sound. So we'll see how that holds up!

But otherwise, just the usual tiredness. I'm thinking the extra runs will actually help me feel less tired and more ready for May 7th's race, since my training time is tight. Let's hope so!

Ladies, I also have a question for you - guys, this might be a bit TMI, so you can feel free to stop reading now. I'm finding myself having some neck pain, which today is causing a headache, and I think it's from wearing sports bras all day so much lately. I have the same problem if I wear a bikini top all day - it puts too much strain on my neck. Have any of you had this problem? What did you do about it? I put on my running clothes first thing so I don't lose motivation, but I'm thinking I might either have to run first thing in the morning and then shower (which I'll have to do in the summer anyway), or change into and out of my running stuff just for running. Thoughts?

Week Five, Day Two - Complete!

2011-04-13T14:45:00.000-04:00

Although running when it's cloudy and a bit on the cool side is ideal, it's not ideal for motivation. And you know I've been struggling with that lately! So when I woke up this morning to a grey day, I wasn't feeling so motivated. But I put on my running clothes anyway, and finally forced myself to head out around 12:15.

Wouldn't you know it, once I was out there, the sun came out? It ended up being a beautiful day here - and it was a good thing I wore sunglasses!

The run itself was going to be eight minutes running, followed by five walking, then another eight running - all in preparation for Friday's 20 minutes of running.

The first couple of minutes of running were brutal, just horrible. My legs felt so dead and tired and I really didn't think I would make it five minutes, let alone eight. I reminded myself that when I was running two years ago, usually the first mile was the worst, and then I'd settle into it. Eight minutes wouldn't get me a mile (I'm running pretty slow, even for me), but I told myself to just keep at it.

And although I was exhausted after that first interval, I did it! And it felt so good to take that walking break - I remembered how much I liked to run (which I generally feel once I'm DONE running ironically).

The second eight minutes went better - I focused more on form and running with my hips leading, and that seemed to help. I felt less exhausted, though still physically very tired. I hate to admit it, but I haven't been eating super well lately, and I'm sure that's what's causing the exhaustion. I've got to focus again on improving my nutrition, and we'll see how things go.

But all in all, I'm satisfied with today's run. It wasn't the best ever, but I finished it without any cheating. Now I can just be nervous all over again for Friday's 20 minutes. Ugh.

And on another note, I officially registered for the River to Bay 5k yesterday. I figured if I didn't do it now, I'd keep putting it off until it was sold out. So I just bit the bullet. It gives me something to shoot for, and my goal is to just finish it and run the whole way. We'll see how that goes!

Guilt, Exhaustion & Sunny Days

2011-04-11T14:44:00.000-04:00

So despite the fact that I'm still getting over being sick (I'm still coughing) and even though I'm not sitting around being a couch potato, I still feel regularly guilty for any time I don't run and for not being as far along in the couch to 5k as I'd like to be.

And that's just silly, because I AM running - sure, I missed a run last week and the week before, but I still did two, which is more than none. It's not that I'm letting myself off the hook, it's just that I can very easily beat myself up for not doing enough. And sometimes, I need to remember that I'm just where I need to be.

This week, I have all intents and purposes for doing three runs. However, I am doing week 5 over. So today's run was five minutes running, three walking, five running, three walking, and five running. After the first five minutes, I was REALLY glad that I'd decided to repeat week 5. Walking around the Harry Potter park in flip flops last week totally destroyed my calves.

It seems like a silly thing, but by Friday morning, my calves were so incredibly sore! I ran anyway on Friday, as I mentioned - sometimes, it seems like when I push myself through muscle soreness, it actually helps me to recover faster. My legs were sore all through Saturday and a bit yesterday too, but felt good today. Until I started running - it's not that they hurt, it's just that the muscles were so tired. And my legs overall were sore - my right knee was twinging (it does, as does my left, since I sit cross-legged a lot and can never seem to get comfortable) and my legs just hurt.

I'd really like to be running faster, but that's just not where I am right now. I reminded myself that at least I'm running again - I can always build speed; it's just important that I'm out there period. I did the full three five-minute intervals and then took the dog on a nice long walk and I feel good about that.

Of course, it helps that the weather is gorgeous today - 71 degrees, sunny, low humidity, windy on the front end of the run only. It's a perfect day for a run, so it wasn't hard to motivate myself to get out there. Now that I'm home again for a few weeks (finally), I can hopefully get back into my routine.

I looked again today at the date for the Bridge to Bay 5k, and it's May 7th. I compared it to my schedule for the couch to 5k, and I think I *could* just about be ready for it - it's a week before I'm officially done with the couch to 5k, but I should be just about at 5k distance by then. I will end up running it MUCH slower than two years ago, I think, since I had been running 5k distance for a few weeks in advance of that race. But I think it's a good goal to have - I'll just look to finish it, and do the whole thing running (even that nasty hill). I find having a race ahead of me is good motivation - otherwise, I just feel like a casual jogger.

Slow and steady wins the race, right?

So we'll see what happens. I'm plodding along, but slow, hard runs are better than no runs at all, right?

Don't Worry - I'm still Running!

2011-04-09T19:20:00.000-04:00

Things have been a bit hectic, so I haven't been able to post, but I have been running!

Last week, I only got two runs in - with all the nasty weather we had and still getting over the sinus infection/bronchitis, I just wasn't able to get out there the three times I wanted to. But I stuck with my week four workouts, and did two punishing ones.

This week, I was in Orlando for a conference, and again only got in two runs. I was walking a LOT around the resorts and my hotel, so that was good, but since it was some vacation, some work, I just didn't get to the third run.

I had hoped maybe to get to it today now that I'm back in the northeast, but it looks like it's just another two-run week! And that's okay. I'm still coughing, still using the inhaler, and still boosting myself back up. Next week, now that it's supposed to be a bit nicer, I'm hoping to get three good runs in and stop feeling like death part way through! My second run this week was two eight minute intervals which was brutal - but I did it! So the next run is the full 20 minutes - we may be repeating week 5 again next week. I'll have to see how I feel!

I'm Baaack!

2011-03-29T23:59:00.000-04:00

Okay, so being sick took a lot out of me - I haven't been that sick in a while! But I'm officially finishing the antibiotic tomorrow and I went back to work yesterday. Since I'd spent about ten days on the couch, I thought it best to put off my first run back until today.

My thinking is that I'll repeat week 4, which was the last week I was doing, because I haven't run in two weeks. Since I wasn't that far along on the 5k program, two weeks is a LOT of time. But I was determined to do week four, no matter how slowly I ran, which meant I was doing three minutes running, 90 seconds walking, five minutes running, two and a half minutes walking, three minutes runnings, 90 seconds walking, five minutes running.

Awesome.

Fortunately, I had a nice day for it. It's not advisable to get right back into running on a very cold day if you have lung issues like I do, particularly if you're just getting over semi-bronchitis, because the cold air is very hard on your lungs. It's been chilly here again, but by mid-day here, it was 51 degrees and sunny - perfect!

It was also windy, and you know how much I love the wind. Not. But anyway, I started to come up with excuses not to run today, but I finally just told myself to shut up and went out to do it anyway.

It was definitely a brutal run. The first three minutes were killer, and I was sure I wouldn't be able to do five minutes straight. But I really paced myself and pushed myself to do it. And I did! Sure, I felt like vomiting by the time I was done, but I could still breathe, mostly, and it felt good to be back to running.

Last night, when I was sitting on the couch, my legs were so on edge. That seems to go away when I'm running regularly, so it was definitely a sign to me to get back out there!

I can tell I lost some muscle too while I was sick because my legs are really feeling the run tonight. But that's a great feeling to have - it means I did something that warrants sore muscles!

So this week, it looks like I'm doing runs today, Thursday and Saturday morning - then I leave for another trip. This one's in Orlando, where it's been quite warm. If it's warm and humid, I'll probably run inside (I've already checked to make sure they have a gym), but if it's not too humid, I'll be running on the jogging trail that's on the property where I'm staying. It will be nice to have some real sunshine! It's been quite a while.

Let's hope I don't pick up anything else on my flights this time, and can keep running. I got a postcard the other day for the River to Bay 5k in May, and I REALLY would like to do it. I would just be about up to 5k distance by then, which would be pushing it, but I think it would be nice to get back into racing, even if I'm not very competitive!

Sick as a Dog

2011-03-23T21:43:00.001-04:00

Hi all - I just wanted to give you a quick update. I'm taking a running break because it turns out I have a bad sinus infection, and the beginnings of bronchitis. I really miss running, surprisingly, particularly when it was in the 70's last week, but I'm just not able to do anything more strenuous than hang out on the couch all day. I hope to be back to running on Monday, and I'm planning to repeat week 4, since I will have lost five running days by then.

I'm hoping that I'll be in 5k shape to do the Bridge to Bay 5k again this year. We'll see how things go my first week back. Keep your fingers crossed that the medicine continues to kick this bug and I'm all better by Monday!

For Japan, With Love

2011-03-18T15:33:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Mandy over at Mommy Musings for the link and button:

One week ago, I was in Hanoi when news broke of the earthquake and subsequent tsunami in Japan. One of our Japanese clients was with our group, and he was fortunate to be able to get news quickly that his family and colleagues were all okay, although they all had to walk home from the office - which took some of them more than ten hours. There are many heartbreaking and uplifting stories coming from Japan, and the thing I keep thinking is that this is when we need to join together and offer our help.

So take a moment today to send a prayer, or make a donation. The American Red Cross is one option, or click the link attached to the photo below to head over to For Japan With Love, which has raised almost $40,000 for Shelterbox.

I'll be back with new posts hopefully next week - I'm battling a post-travel chest cold that's keeping me from running!

Running in Hanoi

2011-03-13T09:39:00.000-04:00

So my crazy internet issues followed me from Paris to Hanoi, where I could only get internet access sitting in the hotel lobby, or with my laptop sitting in an open window in my room. Delightful.

However, that didn't mean I wasn't running!

I didn't run on Wednesday as originally planned, because we got into Hanoi a bit later than I thought, to the hotel a bit later than we expected, and then our rooms weren't ready. So by the time I went to take a nap (I didn't sleep one wink during the two flights of a total of 13 hours), it was 3pm.

So I slept until 9:30, and went back to bed at two.

But Thursday morning, I woke bright and early at 6:30. Since I was up, I thought I'd check out the gym - I knew that if I didn't go for a run pretty quickly, I would just skip them all. I managed to find out what my assigned run for the morning was (3 minutes running, 90 seconds walking, five minutes running, 2 1/2 minutes walking, 3 minutes running, 90 seconds walking, five minutes running).

Despite the jet lag, I was able to do it - and it actually made me feel much less tired. I found that to be true the whole time I was away actually; sweating really made me much more awake and energized. Who knew? ;)

My schedule this week was pretty jam packed, so I knew I'd need to get another run in on Friday at some point. And I realized that I wouldn't be arriving back in the states until 11am on Monday morning, so I really should try to get another run in on Sunday as well.

Friday's run was another good one - really tiring, but it made me feel great. I worked out all three days at the hotel gym rather than running outside. The hotel had a nice running trail on a map in the rooms, but I'd have to cross the street to get to it, and if you've ever been to Hanoi, you know that one of the most treacherous things you can do is cross the road!

So instead, I opted for the gym treadmills, which worked fine (though I could tell the first day that it was a bit easier than what I had been doing outside). I put on my music, plugged in my workout, and off I went.

However, because of internet trouble, I didn't know what the first workout for week 5 was supposed to be. Instead of skipping it altogether, I did week 4's workout again, and figured I'll just delay week five start until Wednesday. I don't lose time because I still ran, but I don't want to try to jump right into day two, week five, since day three, week five is that sneaky 20-minute run.

It actually was a good place for me to get exercise, Hanoi. I was staying on the second floor of the hotel, and there were stairs to get there, so unless I was carrying something heavy like a suitcase, I almost always took the stairs. We also walked around a lot, and on Saturday afternoon, we headed to a village on the outskirts of the city for an hour-long bike ride through the rice paddies and village. It was fabulous, and no small workout (parts of it were uphill). So between that, and my limited diet there because I'm so picky about eating, it was a good trip for me healthwise.

Unfortunately, I still didn't get nearly enough sleep. The hotel in Paris was super uncomfortable for sleeping, and the hotel in Hanoi was much better, but I didn't always have the time. So I'm planning to sleep on my second flight tonight - I flew from Hanoi to Kuala Lumpur (about 2 1/2 hours) and the next flight is KL to Charles de Gaulle, about 13 hours. Then, I still have one more flight to JFK before I am back in the states! I'm tired just thinking about it.

It was a great trip, and if you'd like to read more about the travel part, my blog posts are over at http://www.travelblog.org/bloggers/lextraveler. But I am looking forward to being home, in my own bed, and running in some (hopefully) good weather!

Running in Paris

2011-03-09T13:32:00.000-05:00

Thanks to crazy internet issues, this post is late in being published, but I wrote it on Monday - I wanted to add a photo I took, but I'm currently sitting in the lobby of the hotel in Hanoi, since it's the only place I can access the internet, so it will have to wait for another time!

I know you’re all wondering whether I skipped my run on Friday or not, since I didn’t post anything…well, I didn’t. It was a really hectic day, trying to finish up getting packed and ready for my trip and heading up to my parents’, but I got up early and forced myself to go.

I felt great afterwards, but the run itself was another terrible one. I was just so tired and sore, starting out. Unfortunate.

Then, today was my run in Paris. I was nervous about it, since I’ve never run outside in a foreign country (and I’ve been to over 20 countries in the last six years or so, so you understand how little I have been running!).

I initially intended to run first thing this morning, but because the beds are hard as rock and thanks to jet lag, I didn’t fall asleep until about 4. So the 8 am wakeup wasn’t looking so hot. Instead, we headed out around 11 after breakfast and walked to the Champs Elysees where we wandered around for a little while. It’s been chilly here (and I forgot my coat, of course), so I was definitely cold, but it was nice in the sun.

I talked my dad into walking back to the hotel as well, and it felt good to be out in the fresh air after being cooped up so long all winter, and on the plane.

When we got back, I decided to head out for my run. I had a pretty good idea of where the park was thanks to our drive in and walking around earlier, so I went in that direction. It was only a couple of blocks away, but was much smaller than I thought it was –no big deal, I just did some laps.

Today’s program called for 3 minutes running, 90 seconds walking, 5 minutes running, 2 ½ minutes walking, 3 minutes running, 90 seconds walking, and 5 minutes running again. I wasn’t sure how I’d manage after the long walk this morning, and being tired and jet lagged, but I thought I’d give it a shot, but cut myself a break if I needed to.

I definitely felt the run, but today, the pain was good. I pushed myself a little to start with, because it was so nice out, and that was a mistake, but overall the run was a great one. The weather was perfect, I was dressed warmly enough, and it was nice to run a little on pavement and a little on dirt – give my poor knees a break!

Unfortunately, a group of young kids were there on some sort of exercise assignment with their teacher or coach, and THEY were running as well. I ran by them a couple of times as they were hanging out in their group, and I could have sworn that their teacher/coach told them to “chase the slow lady” – because a couple of them blew past me! Ah, to be young and have boundless energy.

I just reminded myself that I’m building my endurance back up, and stuck with my little plan!

So now I’m back in the hotel and needing to take a bath (no shower here) and get ready for this evening’s wedding! Au revoir!

Back to Back Runs Kick my Butt

2011-03-02T14:33:00.000-05:00

I always forget how much I dislike running on back to back days. But despite being tired and sore today (both from yesterday's run, and smashing the door into my heel...and then this morning, running my quad into the corner of a chair and causing an awesome bruise), I just could not figure out how to get around running today. If I want to finish this week out, it was better to get the back to back run out of the way today then to wait for tomorrow and Friday.

So off running I went.

And this run totally kicked my butt. My legs were just not cooperating, no matter what pace I tried to find. The only upside to today is that it's ridiculously beautiful out (minus the strong wind). So there really was no excuse not to get out there.

And now that I'm back, although I'm tired and definitely feeling it, I'm glad I went. It cleared my head and it was nice to get out in the sunshine for a little bit, and away from the glare of my computer monitor. And I feel good about making myself go instead of slacking off.

So today was another 90 seconds running/walking, 3 minutes running/walking times two, and Friday is the same. Let's hope I start to feel like I'm building some endurance up soon, because I just feel beat down every time I'm running.

I decided to look back at my posts from the same week of running I did back in 2009, and I was disappointed to realize that I'm about a week behind where I thought I was at this time of year! No wonder I've been feeling like I don't have very much time before the April 5ks start!

Interestingly, after the second run of week 3 in 2009, I was actually starting to feel like I liked running. I'm not so much feeling that today - I am really enjoying the post-run endorphins and feeling that I actually accomplished something instead of sitting on my butt, but I'm still not having fun during the actual run. I hope that will come back. I just need to find my motivation again!

(PS, this cartoon is also from the same post two years ago!)

Today's Run and Upcoming Plans

2011-03-01T16:57:00.000-05:00

Today, it was time to ramp up the time again on the run - it worked out to being the same amount of time running, I think, but there were longer intervals. The program called for 90 seconds running, 90 second walking, three minutes running, three minutes walking twice.

Woo. It was killer.

It seems so silly - particularly since I ran a 10k at one point - that 3 minutes of running felt so exhausting. But it did.

However, I'm glad I ran today. I didn't run yesterday because I was traveling back from my parents' and was ridiculously exhausted - I finally got a little sleep on Sunday night (on Saturday night, I fell asleep around 5am), but I was still so tired overall. Last night, I got about nine hours of sleep, which was glorious. I'm still catching up for two weeks of insomnia, so I think it will take me all week to recover.

And then, I go to Europe and Asia for business. So jet lag will get me all over again.

This is also the first time I'm planning to run while I'm away. Usually, I don't want to also have to pack my running clothes (with a million functions while I'm away, I usually have to pack about three outfits per day. No joke). Plus, I don't like doing things out of my comfort zone, and running in an unfamiliar place falls into that category.

But I really don't want to lose my momentum here, so I'm making plans. First, we're headed to Paris for a wedding of two of my clients. We're staying in a hotel without a gym, so I looked up some local routes and found that there's a park nearby, with a lake, and a 5k route that someone posted. That's a good place to run on Monday morning.

Then, I'm heading to Hanoi, Vietnam and fortunately, there's a gym in the hotel. Unfortunately, that's when the busy-ness of my week really ramps up. So I've got to motivate myself to head to gym for a run on Wednesday night after hopefully catching up on some sleep thanks to flying from Paris to Hanoi on Tuesday into Wednesday. And I've got to try to fit in a run in the two hours I have to relax and get ready for dinner between our afternoon and evening events on Friday.

I'll also be doing a leisurely bike ride through the Vietnam countryside outside of Hanoi on Saturday afternoon - and I'm actually really excited about that. Plus, it's some good cross-training.

So I've got two more runs this week - tomorrow, so I can keep on schedule since I moved yesterday's run to today. And Friday morning, before I head up to my parents' for the trip to Paris.

And in klutzy news, I managed to give myself a very minor injury this afternoon - coming back from the run, I let the heavy storm door at the front of my house scrape along my achilles tendon. That really stung and is still a bit sore, particularly since it rubs right against the back of my shoe. Good times.

Running on an Off Day

2011-02-26T22:15:00.001-05:00

So, I didn't run yesterday.

We had a high wind warning for the area (along with rain all day), and the last time we had a warning of equal intensity (i.e. last weekend), there were power lines down and debris. So I thought it best to stay safe and run today instead.

Of course, I'm still having trouble sleeping and I did NOT want to get up this morning. I was so tired, and I knew I was driving up to my parents' today, so I also knew I needed sleep so as not to doze off at the wheel.

I slept in later than I wanted to, and debated not running. But I figured that running would be a good way to wake up and get my body moving, so I forced myself to do it.

And it was a tough one. It was chilly today, but not terrible, but my chest was burning, my legs were so tired, and I wanted to quit so many times. But since I've done this before, I knew that I was capable of it, and I just needed to push through the exhaustion

I was so glad I did. My body is SORE tonight, but I did the run, it did help to energize me, and I felt like I stuck to my commitment, which was a good feeling.

I need to keep remembering that when I most feel like I don't want to run is when I see the most benefit. Sure, it was terrible while I was running and I felt like keeling over, but after I got home, ate some oatmeal and took a shower, I felt like a new woman. Good stuff.

Let's see how things go when I ramp it up next week.

And if you're wondering, I am down by 2.8 pounds as of today - definitely less than I'd hoped for this week, but I've found it takes a good six weeks to see major changes when I commit to eating healthy and working out, so I've got another four weeks left. Still working hard at the eating well - I cooked every night this week, even when I didn't feel like it!

So NOT Feeling it Today

2011-02-23T15:46:00.000-05:00

After yet another night of restless sleep, I reeeeeally was not feeling the run today. I pretty much wanted to stay in bed all day (I didn't, I've been working, no worries).

But I knew that if I skipped today, I'd find it pretty easy to continuing skipping runs until I was back to not running at all again.

So I put on my running clothes when I got up. And I had an ongoing debate with myself as to whether I'd get out there until I finally just went.

My thermometer said it was 43 degrees, but it felt more like 23 degrees. I was wishing I'd dressed a little bit warmer as I headed out into the wind. And because it was chilly, that might explain why I pushed myself a bit too hard on the first interval. I wanted to warm up FAST.

And the first part of the run was terrible. I was tired, cold, unmotivated, you name it. But I stuck with it. I didn't give up on the plan or myself.

By the second half, I was really really tired, but pushing myself. Watching some other runners recently made me realize that maybe I'm not picking my feet up enough when I run. So I tried focusing a bit more on form. That exhausted me a lot quicker on each interval, but I felt like I deserved the walking break then.

I pushed myself almost to the point of throwing up. And it felt good.

Had I skipped the run today, I would have told myself I was going to do it tomorrow (and I probably wouldn't have). Then, I would have beaten myself up all afternoon and evening for not just sucking it up and getting out there.

Instead, I did it. I did every interval that was planned, ran every step I was supposed to, and it was worth it.

I'm still tired, but now I also feel some muscle fatigue. And muscle fatigue means I did something hard (well, hard for me anyway).

So I'm still plugging away. This week's change to 90 seconds of running (which doesn't sound like a lot, and isn't a lot) has really kicked my butt. But I know I can do it, because I've done it before. I just have to stick with it and not let myself get in the way.

The Start of Week 2 - It's Chilly Out There!

2011-02-21T14:34:00.000-05:00

So I'm still having some trouble with sleeping. Friday night, I didn't get to sleep until about 2:30 (some of that was my own fault because I was up doing laundry until about 1:30 - I know, what a rocking Friday night!). Saturday, I didn't fall asleep until 4am. And even last night, it was 2am. Fortunately, I could sleep in, but it's meant that my days are a bit thrown off, which isn't great, and I'm sure I'll be suffering when I wake up early for work tomorrow.

When I woke up this morning, I did NOT feel like going for a run. I was tired and sluggish, the cold outside has a bitter feeling to it because we're expecting snow later, and it's cloudy and depressing.

But I'm a believer in suiting up and showing up, so I just put on my running clothes and had some oatmeal and gave myself a 1pm deadline to head out.

And I did. Today, I was ramping up to 90 seconds of running and two minutes of walking, and with the cold, I was definitely feeling punished. But I did it anyway and now I'm feeling good as a result.

I stuck with my healthier eating this weekend too - there were a couple of times where I wanted to give myself a treat and just take a whole day off from good eating, but it's only been a week of it, so I resisted the urge. I did make a key lime pie on Saturday night, but I've only had a small slice after dinner both days, and that's been enough of a treat for me.

I also picked up some more VitaTops - they're muffin tops made from whole grains, with 15 vitamins in them and only 100 calories. I get the dark chocolate ones, and they taste like brownies. No joke. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm not into diet anything - I've never liked diet soda, anything that's low fat or low sugar tastes really fake to me, and I just prefer the full fat, full sugar versions of things.

But these really, honestly taste like brownies.

They come frozen, six to a package (apparently you can buy them online two, and I might think about it, since the only flavors they have at my grocery store are corn muffin and these chocolate ones), and I just microwave them for about 25 seconds, pour a small glass of skim milk, and I have a really delicious snack. I might go make one right now in fact!

Anyway.

I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself for running when I didn't feel like it, and continuing to eat well when I didn't feel like it. And as a result, I've lost 2.2 pounds in the last week. Woo hoo!

Now I just need to motivate myself beyond sitting on the couch for the rest of the afternoon. Because I'm still so darn tired lately!

Week One of Couch to 5k Complete + What I'm Eating

2011-02-18T13:26:00.000-05:00

So here we are, day three of the couch to 5k, and I actually WANTED to run today. Mostly because it was either go for a run or kill somebody and throw my computer out the window. But since I know that running beats the frustration out of me, I figured that was the better alternative!

It was another session of 60 seconds running and 90 seconds walking for twenty minutes total, and today's run was a bit punishing. In part because I was pushing myself out of frustration, and in part because the humidity is pretty high here today - you know how I love humidity.

At any rate, the run did it's job - I feel much less stressed now and hopefully I can remember this feeling the next time I'm feeling frustrated - running works like nothing else.

Now, to change the subject a bit...

One of the things I remember reading during my last stint as a runner was about how important nutrition is. You may remember that I was having some serious problems with migraines when I first started running in 2009, and it turned out that I wasn't drinking nearly enough water. As part of a year-long resolutions project I'm working on, one of this month's tasks was to drink at least four glasses of water a day.

I know some suggest that it should be eight, but I was going from maybe one glass a day. I know, it's terrible, I admit it.

When I'd done my few trips to the gym, I talked to a fitness coach there, who said that over time, your body will get used to drinking more and more water, and will crave it, so it's a good idea to build up to eight glasses. So that was my plan.

It's been 18 days, and I've stuck with 4-5, sometimes 6 glasses of water a day. With that much water, there isn't room for drinking too much else, with the exception of a small glass of skim milk here and there. I had a pretty major addiction to Pepsi (I still love it), and I've found that I'm not good at moderation. So I just haven't brought any into the house, and I'm sticking with water.

I hate to admit it, but I feel better.

On the nutrition side of things, this is also the first time I'm focusing on really eating better while working out - usually I'm guilty of doing one or the other. In January, I gave up "candies" - my definition of candies is anything that's just sugary, like nerds, sweet tarts, etc. I LOVE that stuff. But again, I'm not good with moderation. I would get one roll of sweet tarts one day, crave them again the next day, pick up three rolls, planning to eat them over the period of three days and eat them all in one day. And so on.

No wonder I put on nine pounds in the last ten months.

So I gave that all up in January - I'm trying to make small changes, so that instead of feeling deprived, I just gradually phase it out. February was just supposed to be about giving up Pepsi, but now I've given up most sweets.

I read somewhere that oatmeal is the breakfast of champions. I'd tried it once and hated it, but more for the texture than the taste (I'm very sensitive to food textures). But I suddenly had a craving for it the other day, so I picked up a box - there are three flavors, which I know isn't the healthiest kind of oatmeal, but it's about baby steps. I've eaten it for breakfast the past three days, and I have to say that it's really good!

Not only does it taste good, but it fills me up and keeps me full until lunchtime. Lunch is my other major issue. I like lunch foods (I love sandwiches), but I never feel like eating them at lunch. Plus, in addition to processed meats not being very good for you, they're a nightmare for migraine sufferers. I had a leftover Italian hero a few weeks ago, and it gave me a terrible migraine. So I'm usually at a loss as to what to eat for lunch, end up eating a yogurt and feeling hungry about thirty minutes later.

So because I'm eating the oatmeal for breakfast, I can now have my carnation instant breakfast for lunch! I get the dark chocolate packets, and blend it with skim milk and slow churned vanilla ice cream and it's good. And that keeps me full for a good three hours. So I have a snack then, and have a decent home cooked meal for dinner.

I'm also finding that I'm pretty hungry by dinner, so I'm splitting up the meal into something easy to eat, and what I'm cooking. If I eat a quick salad (mixed greens, walnuts, dried cherries, oil & vinegar) or a bunch of carrots, I'm more likely to have the patience to wait for my meal to cook. One of my biggest problems is thinking that cooking will take forever (it never does, but it feels that way), and then I just decide to order or pick up take out. And that's never as good for me as cooking.

So this gives me a bit of food, adds in veggies, which I'm not a huge fan of generally, and motivates me to cook instead. Another thing that's been working for me is planning my meals - on Sunday, I looked at what I had in the fridge and planned all my meals out for the week. Then, I didn't have to figure out what I was going to make that night - I just made it.

At the end of a long day, when I'm tired and don't feel like hunting through the cabinets and fridge for what to make, it's handy to just have options in front of me. I admit I did stray from the list a bit this week - I stuck with the meals on it, but not always on the right days - but in general, it worked out great.

The only issue I'm having in my new focus on self-care is sleeping. I am having trouble getting myself to turn the lights off before 2am, so I'm really tired during the day. I'm not sure why I can never seem to meet the basics of self care all at once - I'm either taking care of my sleep schedule, eating well or exercising, but not usually all three at the same time. But I'll get there!

I've lost 1.6 pounds since Monday, so that's good motivation to keep going. Plus, I've been checking out some races for the upcoming months, so I'll keep you updated on what I'm planning to run in this year!

Day 2 of the Couch to 5k - Did I do it?

2011-02-16T14:54:00.000-05:00

So it's Wednesday, which means it's supposed to be day 2 (AGAIN) of the couch to 5k.

And I must admit...

I did it! I ran today :)

You thought I was going to say I took the day off!

By Monday night, my legs were really tired and sore. By Tuesday, I was walking funny. By this morning, I actually felt worse, and the muscles in my legs and in my feet hurt.

But I really, really, REALLY want to get back to running. So I figured the walking warm up would help ease me past the muscle soreness and I'd just do the assigned run/walk anyway.

And I did it!

Was it hard, exhausting, a little cold and windy?

Yup.

But today, for some reason, it felt good that it was difficult. It felt good to push myself again. To feel my muscles ache and still meet the goals (another 60 seconds running, 90 seconds walking for 20 minutes day).

I'm still super sore, and because I'm still not sleeping well or enough, I'm exhausted - physically, mentally and emotionally. But I'm glad I ran and I do feel better than I did this morning. It was good to remember that when I'm frustrated and short-tempered (with work, with the fact that my creepy neighbor who's wife supposedly kicked him out weeks ago has been back today, being creepy, etc.) a good run will knock that right out of me.

I've already passed the mental hurdles of "Can I do this?" because I completed the couch to 5k two years ago. So now it's just getting back out there, being consistent and not letting excuses hold me back. I really hope I'm on my way.

And yes, I know that if I'd done yoga yesterday, that would have helped both my soreness and the migraine I was fighting on and off all day, but I just felt too wiped out. Hopefully I'll feel energized enough tomorrow to do it. I did make sure to walk the dog after my run today, so I got a nice long cool down as well - he's a basset hound, so he's not exactly a fast walker!

I'm Baaack!

2011-02-14T14:26:00.000-05:00

I admit it.

For a while there, I wasn't sure I was ever going to run again.

I'm the queen of excuses when it comes to working out. I'm too tired. It's too cold outside. It's too windy. I don't feel like it. I don't like running. Blah, blah, blah.

Of course, I felt guilty about these excuses, but even the guilt didn't make me feel like running. I figured I'd just give it up.

But then I was thinking about it at the end of last year, and realized that I'd never felt so happy with myself as when I was running regularly. Seriously. It's a great self esteem booster and the endorphin rush is awesome.

So I told myself I'd start running again. Of course, I told myself that in November, and here we are, February 14th. My motivation has really been at an all time low lately. Plus, it really HAS been cold and running on ice is just not my thing. But living here at the beach, where the milder weather means that the snow doesn't stick around for long when we do get it, I realized last week that I need to stop making excuses and JUST. DO. IT.

And so last night, I laid out my running clothes, set my alarm a bit earlier and went to bed early. But then I didn't fall asleep until after 3:30am. Super.

I didn't get up early and run. But I did put my running clothes on. And I told myself I'd start the Couch-to-5k today with a lunchtime run. It's 63 degrees here today, people. I am out of excuses. And if I'm being honest, I need to drop a bit of weight. And surprise, surprise, it turns out that diet and exercise is the way to do that - who knew?

The long and the short of it is, I ran. Well, I did the first workout in the program, which is five minutes walking warm-up, followed by alternating 60 seconds of running with 90 seconds of walking for 20 minutes. And it was so beautiful out that even though I realized how far I have to go to get back to running 3 miles regularly, I still felt pretty good.

My legs are definitely sore - but they were sore when I woke up because I was doing a lot of squats yesterday while painting the doors and trim in my upstairs hallway. I really wanted to use sore quads as an excuse today, but the truth is that I can find an excuse any day, and I just need to suck it up and do it.

So I'm hopefully back to running. I rested and slept a lot this weekend, and ate a lot of junk food, and I'm basically sick of myself at this point, so I think that's been motivation enough to get back to working out regularly. I'm hoping to get a bike stabilizer so that I can ride my bike inside (then I don't have to wear an ugly helmet :)) - I think that would be great for watching tv! And I really REALLY need to start doing yoga again. I love the way it makes me feel, it's a great thing to be doing while running, and with a variety of yoga videos available streaming on Netflix, I have no excuses - I can't get bored!

We'll see how it goes! I'll let you know how my motivation is holding up so you can yell at me if I need it!

Week One Down

2010-04-18T22:30:00.000-04:00

I meant to write this post yesterday, when the run was fresh in my mind, but the weekend has gotten away from me a bit! Normally, on Saturdays, I take a ceramics class from 12-3 - it's 40 minutes away, so I have to leave by 11:20 at the latest and normally don't get home until almost four, so it eats up quite a lot of time in my weekend. But yesterday, I decided to play hooky. I liked the idea of a whole Saturday stretching before me with no solid plans, when normally my weekends feel pretty rushed, trying to get all my household stuff accomplished on Sunday before jumping back into the work week.

But I didn't play hooky from running. Instead, I suited up and headed out, expecting to enjoy the nice weather. But you know what they say about the best laid plans...

Having been away from running for a while, I forgot that each run is different. You can go from having a great run one day, to having a crappy run just a few days later - it's not always about forward momentum. And that's where I was yesterday. But it reminded me of another important lesson that running has taught me - even having a crappy run is better than no run at all.

I thought I'd be able to push myself like I did on Thursday, really punishing myself in the 60-second intervals. But I was feeling exhausted and winded just jogging them. By the end of my first 60 seconds, I was already feeling the burn in my lungs (of course, I forgot to do my inhaler before I left) and starting to get a stitch in my side. So I re-set my plan for the morning and decided to conserve my energy during each interval so that I'd be able to finish all eight of them. Since I'm a goal-oriented person (and very type-A), it's hard for me to not see progress each subsequent run, and to still be so disappointed at how long I was away from running and having to start over. But yesterday's run was a good reminder to me that running isn't really about the finish line - it's about the journey. Doing the couch to 5k program last year showed me how small building blocks could take me from 60 seconds of running at a time to 3.1 miles of running at a time. Looking at the overall goal was always daunting, but each individual workout was manageable and got me to where I needed to be. I am often so focused on the finish line that I forget to enjoy the journey (both in running and in life), so even in my first week back, it was good to be brought up short a little bit and get to think about just taking each run as it comes and eventually stacking them together to be the building blocks of competing again and finding my love of running again.

So anyway, I appear to be waxing a bit philosophical about running tonight, and we'll see where that gets me for tomorrow's run. I'm also going to my last fitness coaching appointment in the morning, so we'll see if I've made any progress in five days. I must admit, I'm relieved to be done with the fitness coaching (I think) after tomorrow - it's very stressful!

A Punishing Run & Feeling Better

2010-04-15T12:21:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I'll admit it - I was SORE after Tuesday's run. I could feel it starting Tuesday night, and when I woke up yesterday, the part of my quads right above my knees were screaming, as was every single muscle in my calves. But it felt good - it meant I'd done something to deserve that (even if it was only 8 minutes of running and 22 minutes of walking). And even though it still hurt today, I went for another run - the couch potato plan calls for the same plan as Tuesday - 5 minute warm-up, then alternating 60-seconds of running with 90-seconds of walking.

Today, I really punished my body during those 60-second intervals (at least in the beginning of the run). I ran fast and hard until I could feel my lungs burning, a stitch in my side (which, of course, means I wasn't breathing properly), and I was close to throwing up. But I did it, and made it the same distance as Tuesday, but 15 seconds faster (not a lot, but any improvement is good in my book). So Tuesday, according to MapMyRun, I did 2.41 miles in 30 minutes, 17 seconds, which puts me at a 12:34 mile (average). That makes me laugh a little bit, since I was running 11:00+ minute miles last year in the summer, and that was with running the WHOLE time! Today's run was also 2.41 miles in 29 minutes and 48 seconds, which is apparently still an average of 12:34. There's obviously room for improvement, but hopefully I can get there.

On Tuesday was also my third fitness coaching appointment, where my fitness coach actually referred to me as "really fit" to someone else, which made me feel like she might be a little bit nuts, but I was happy with it. I admitted that I was only *just* starting my 5k training, but said I'd been doing better with eating - of course I rewarded myself with candy that night, but it's made me feel so tired and crappy that I think I might be leaving candy behind for a while - no, really. We talked about how I'm having trouble drinking a lot of water, and she said that my body will get used to having more water - which is a good thing! So I've decided to try to introduce a little bit more water each day so I can get up to where I'm supposed to be. Running helps that, because then I'm more thirsty, so hopefully it's just a little change that will make a big difference.

For my stats, I was down about two pounds to 152 (-ish, I don't remember the decimal point), so that made me happy. She didn't have the last body fat percentage written down, but it turns out that I do, so without working out and just eating a little bit better, I went from 24.1% on March 25th-ish to 23.1% on April 13th. Not bad.

The other reason I like this fitness coach (besides the fact she called me "very fit") is that she's realistic and not pushy. We talked about the sheet with the recommended percentage of body fat on it, and they have "ideal," "healthy," "improve" and "health risk" on there. For a 30 year old woman - every time I go there by the way, she tries to insist I'm 29 because I was born in 1980, but my birthday is at the beginning of January, so I AM 30 already! - the ideal is 19.7, healthy is 22.7, improve is 25.4, and heath risk is 30.5. Of course, I see those numbers and think, wow, I'm so terribly far from "ideal" and it will take me forever to get there, and I start to beat myself up for being at a higher percentage. And then, my fitness coach said to me on Tuesday - you want to be at "healthy" because "ideal" is really for 16 year olds who have the metabolism of a hummingbird. Phew. That made me feel much better, because I can certainly lower my body fat percentage by a couple of decimal points, but to lower it a few whole percentage points would take some real work and would put a lot of pressure on me.

So I'm definitely feeling better than I was on Tuesday - I put a lot of pressure on myself to do everything, and then when I fail at one thing, I just don't want to play anymore. So I'm trying to be more realistic. My plan is to really get back into running - I'm going to stick to the Couch to 5k again and do just that in terms of working out for the next few weeks. I might try to get to a yoga class too. And I'm going to make those small changes in terms of eating and drinking more water that I talked about with my fitness coach. Then, in a couple of weeks, I'll review again and see what my next steps should be (rather than coming up with a whole ridiculous plan now and trying to stick to it, or doing too much at once). So today, by the end of my run, I was actually starting to remember why I enjoyed running - the weather was beautiful, I do like the results and endorphins that a good workout produces, and I didn't have to feel guilty that I wasn't working out today. Hopefully I remember that Saturday morning and get out there again and stick to this!

Sometimes I Hate to be Right - I AM at the Beginning

2010-04-13T12:28:00.000-04:00

Okay, so for some reason, as soon as the doctor gave me the okay to workout, I stopped working out and stopped wanting to workout. I have no idea why. I feel like my motivation has been at an all-time low and I'm back to the same fears I had when I started running last year - I won't be able to do it, what if someone sees me and thinks I look stupid, etc. Also, I just always struggle with getting started in anything remotely athletic. So with the exception of that one day at the gym a few weeks' ago, I haven't worked out since (until today, I should add).

I did go to another fitness coaching appointment (as they call them), but I had a really bad head cold that week - I heard a long time ago that you could still work out with a bad head cold, but the last time I did, I got pneumonia. No joke. So I work a bit harder at taking care of myself when I get sick these days! But I went to the appointment, found out I'd actually put ON weight (though I was wearing knee high boots that day also which I wasn't the last time) and talked nutrition with Kris (who could fit a half hour conversation into five minutes. She said she was impressed I could keep up). I was terribly afraid that she'd slam me for my bad eating, but she said I basically eat well and just need to switch out any white flour products for whole grains, look for 100-calorie snacks for desserts (but not cut them out, yay!) and have dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate. Okay, manageable. I'm also supposed to drink more water, and I can keep drinking Pepsi, as long as I also add an extra glass of water to my day.

Like with working out, I've not had a lot of water since we talked that day. I'm not sure what it is - I have it easily accessible in my house with a giant brita in the fridge. I'm just not thirsty that much! So I have to make a more conscious effort to start adding more water into my day. And I've been eating too much candy again - it's my weakness. Along with chocolate chip cookies.

But all of this thinking and conscious effort is overwhelming me a little and I think that's what I struggle with. Frozentriette gave me some great advice a few weeks' ago, telling me to change one little thing at a time. She's totally right. But for some reason, I feel like I just can't do it, like all of these people are expecting me to do more (what people, I don't know), and as if I'm supposed to be keeping up with all these other athletes whose blogs I read or twitterstreams I follow, and when I don't, guilt creeps in. On top of the fact that I may have jumped the gun in joining the gym, thinking that would motivate me, while now, I just feel upset that I'm spending money and not going. I keep telling myself to just pick one yoga class at the gym and go every week to start with. But last night, when it was time to go to yoga and I was in a crabby mood, I just bagged the whole thing. I'm not sure why I do all this hiding out when experience has shown me that exercise makes me feel better, sleep better, and helps me get out any frustration/stress I have. I'm really struggling and it's very hard for me to admit, but I'm hoping that if I just take workouts one day at a time, eventually, I'll build myself back up again and actually enjoy it, without always feeling guilty that I could be doing more.

So anyway, that was my goal for today. I've got a fitness coaching appointment at 3:30 (which I've already postponed twice, so I HAVE to go today) and I made myself re-start the Couch to 5k plan. I had hoped that I would be wrong about how far back I'd fallen in running - that I'd get out there and it would be so easy I could jump ahead. Unfortunately, no. Today's plan was a five minute warm up walk, and then alternating 60 seconds of running with 90 seconds of walking for 20 minutes. And it. Was. Hard. Not impossible hard, just not as breezy as I expected it to be. But the difference between this year and last year is that I already know I can do it, because I've done it before. So that helped. And I did really push myself in those 60-second intervals, so I was feeling tired by the time I was done with each of them. And remembering my distances from last year, I know I went further today than when I started out last year, so I must have been running faster.

So we'll see how it goes. Last year, I was good at taking each workout as it came up and not stressing out about it too much (minus that first 20-minute stretch of running - holy cow was I worried about that one!). I think a lot of that was because I was just doing one thing - running. Today, I'm already feeling pressured to go to the gym for my appointment and then do an extra 30 minutes on the elliptical (because of course, I get wrapped up in the idea that the trainers are judging me, when they probably don't care) or just making an excuse when probably Kris won't even ask me whether I plan to workout. The long and the short of it is that I'm overthinking EVERYTHING lately, which paralyzes me. So like Jannah said, I need to start small, add in one thing at a time and then build on that. I'll give it a shot...

And so, it begins...learning to run again

2010-03-22T14:46:00.000-04:00

Okay, so despite getting the nod from my doctor to start running again, I haven't, really. Until Friday that is. I can't explain what it is, but I'm kind of terrified to start up again after six months away. Despite knowing that I was able to compete in a 10k last year and five 5ks, despite the fact that I learned to love running, despite that it made me feel good almost every time I did it, I just can't get motivated.

But I joined the gym. And this past Friday was my first "fitness coaching" appointment. The gym gives you these four free fitness coaching sessions, because they think that if they get you to talk to someone about your goals they can a) get you motivated to use the gym and not cancel your membership and b) maybe get you to sign up with one of the fitness coaches as your trainer. Fair enough.

So we started with my goals - I want to be able to run again, and be able to run faster. I want to be more toned and lose some weight. I want to be able to do the Mud Run in July without keeling over. My fitness coach/trainer, Mike, was nice and seemed to know what he was doing. He went through some strength training exercises that I could do to build lean muscle and we talked about what goals I should be hitting during the week, how often I should really be getting to the gym. He weighed me, and although I'm not a fan of posting this anywhere publicly, my weight was 153lbs (I'm 5'9"). I should mention I was fully clothed with shoes on, and had eaten lunch around 2 that day (my appointment was at 3). My weight that morning was 149.8lbs. He also checked my body fat percentage, which was 24.7%. That's within the acceptable range, but healthy is really about 22% and ideal is 19.7%. So I've got to shoot for healthy at least. Ugh. It was all rather depressing, and of course, I immediately got into the mindset that these are insurmountable goals.

Then, after giving me the tour, he left me to my own devices, suggesting I do the 15-12-10 series of squats with a kettlebell that he showed me. He said for me to build lean muscles, I need to do continuous reps (not resting between sets, but resting at the end of the group of three) and I should be tiring myself out from the number of reps I'm doing and not the weight. He suggested doing 15 of each of a regular squat (holding the kettlebell with my arms down), then a row with the kettlebell and a squat, and then holding the kettlebell at about heart height, and as I come out of the squat, lifting it over my head. Sounds okay, right? Well, I did the three types of squats 15 times, rested for a minute or two, did the three types of squats 12 times, rested, and then 10 times. So that works out to 111 squats with a 17-pound kettlebell, after not working out for 10 days and not being overly strong to begin with.

Holy.

Cow.

So I tried to do some lunges after that, but my muscles just could not hold me up and I could feel my left thigh starting to spasm. Instead of running right home like I wanted to, I decided to do some cardio. Mike had suggested starting out on the elliptical for me, because there's less impact, so I can avoid shin splints (he also thinks I need to find somewhere softer to run than pavement, so I've got to figure out where the heck that would be that's convenient for me). But I couldn't find the ellipticals - this gym is confusing! - and so I just headed to the treadmill. (Of course, I saw the ellipticals across the way as soon as I got on the treadmill. Sigh.

I'm not even sure how much running I did - the longest interval was about 2 straight minutes, after which the machine was telling me my heart rate was at a solid 186 - but I did run/walk for 30 minutes with a short cool down. I wasn't sure I'd be able to actually walk out the doors of the gym without collapsing, but I managed it and have spent the last couple of days hobbling around and taking Advil.

That's my M.O. - the old overdoing it, then suffering for a few days and maybe using that as an excuse to not continue to work hard. I have been taking long walks with the dog the last couple of days, which helps, and then I did about four hours of yardwork yesterday which I can feel all over. I so want to quit the gym and just hide out at home, but I do think it will be good for me in the long run. I'm thinking of having Mike be my trainer for a little while - it will give me accountability for one. Also, I'm one of those gym people who learns a circuit and just does it every time - not because I don't like to switch up my workouts, but because I'm always worried what people think about me (despite knowing that those people are likely just wondering what other people think of them!). Mike pointed out that this isn't effective because your body gets used to whatever you're doing after two weeks. Plus, I learned that the weight machines aren't really all that effective either, because they take on some of the work of the exercise. So I've really got to push myself to actually achieve change, and if I have a trainer, I think I'll learn how to do that and get comfortable with the gym at the same time. It still all makes me sick to my stomach though!

So anyway, I'm trying to motivate myself to go to tonight's yoga class. I'm supposed to be hitting the gym three times a week, and any other workouts are just gravy (so I really do plan to revive the couch to 5k soon and be doing that as well). I've also got an appointment on Friday afternoon with another fitness coach to talk about nutrition - of course, in my mind, I'm just waiting for the scolding that will come about all the sweets I eat. Which means I bought six cupcakes on Friday and I'm eating them before I go. We'll see how it goes - I reminded myself that as an adult, I can eat whatever I want, and I just have to remember that there are consequences to what I do eat.

But I'm not giving up my Pepsi.

An Open Letter to Jillian Michaels

2010-03-08T14:01:00.000-05:00

Dear Jillian Michaels,

I hate you. No, not because you're a bad person or anything (I'm convinced you're not), but because you say things like "you're on your way to being shredded" and "those abs aren't coming for free." Also, because you make me do things I'm convinced are impossible, like endless plank poses combined with cardio, strength or abs, cardio jumping/punching with weights, and "rockstar" kicks. Ugh. Plus, where did you find these "buddies" of yours? The "perfect" factory? It's a bit disheartening to get to level three and realize that Anita - you know, the girl doing the "easy" version of everything - actually has zero percent body fat. Thanks.

But maybe the reason I hate you most is because you're right and your workouts do work. Though I thought I'd be stuck following Anita the entire way through (which I considered even a stretch on day one, level one), I've found that by day 10 of each level, I can follow you and, once in a brief while, Natalie. I truly believed I was going to trip and injure myself attempting to do those rockstar kicks, but by day 3 of level 3, I was managing them. And today, while resting my sneaker on the desk, I noticed a muscle in my calf. Without flexing. That wasn't there before.

So maybe the scale hasn't budged more than 3-ish pounds since I started. And maybe I'm still getting winded walking up the stairs (thanks bronchial asthma). But I no longer find myself limp in child's pose drenched in sweat at the end of circuit three (drenched in sweat, yes, but not keeled over). And I think I feel a *little* bit stronger. And even my new fitness coach at the gym (who I haven't met, just on the phone) says that the Shred is a good thing to do. So perhaps instead of hating you, I thank you. But I'm reserving judgment until the end of the Shred. Six more days...

Lindsay

Visits to the Doctor Are Not Always a Breeze

2010-03-04T17:49:00.000-05:00

Okay, so as I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I made a doctor's appointment for this past Tuesday, so I could figure out about my wheezing and get back to running asap. In the meantime, I've been keeping up with the 30-day Shred (I finished Day 2 of Level 3 on Tuesday morning) and have been incorporating a little bit of additional resistance training into my day. I've been wheezing and had a tight feeling in my chest again since I got back from a trip overseas in mid-January, but I had waited to go to the doctor because he's two hours away and I'm in a ceramics class for three hours every Saturday.

I wasn't worried about my appointment - I had a laundry list of things to talk to him about, but I figured the wheezing was just because of the bronchitis I had in October and he'd just prescribe me an inhaler and send me on my way. I've also been having some periodic stomach pain (it feels like I'm starving, but when I eat, it hurts even more and lasts for about five days at a time) and wanted to talk to him about the toe I injured just before Christmas, which I still can't bend and hurts if I bump it into anything - and I'm klutzy, so that happens frequently. I first chatted with him in his office about everything and he informed me that "big toes are different to little toes" so I shouldn't have assumed that they wouldn't have been able to do anything when I first injured it. Then he walked me to the exam room, told me to change into the gown, and said that my wheezing "could be a couple of things" and he'd be right back.

Of course, he wasn't right back, so like the good hypochondriac I am, I started to worry about what the wheezing could mean - I figured if it was just bronchial asthma, he would have just said so. Once he came back and examined me, he sat down and said that likely each of my symptoms was caused by something separate. Because I had gotten better from the bronchitis, and then after flying back from Europe felt worse again, the worst case scenario was that I had a pulmonary embolism (that's a blood clot in the lungs). I watch enough television to know that a pulmonary embolism makes you a ticking time bomb and is a very serious thing. He said that he wanted me to get a cat scan and when I asked him if there was anything that I should avoid doing before I had the cat scan, he said "Well, we're going to make sure you get it done today." I knew he was concerned then, because my doctor is one of the most even-keeled people ever (which helps me avoid any hysteria). He added that he wanted me to get an x-ray of my foot, but that we weren't going to worry about that right away and said that he thought my stomach pain was caused by an ulcer, and told me an over the counter medication I could take for that.

I was still stuck on that embolism word though.

He told me they wanted to do an EKG there at the office, so I got to experience my first EKG - the nurse was very nice about it and explained everything she was doing. She told me it would take her longer to hook me up than it would to run the test, and she was right. In the meantime, I'd called my dad while trying to hold it together to tell him that I had to go to the hospital. He said my mom would want to meet me there and I said I'd be in touch when I knew more.

The receptionist got me an appointment quickly and we both called to double check that my insurance wouldn't require any additional tests before approving the cat scan (they didn't). I headed over to the hospital and my mom met me in the lobby - she's spent a LOT of time at the hospital in the past year because my grandmother has been quite sick, so she brought some crocheting to keep her hands busy and stayed very calm, which helped me. I think it also helped that I really don't like to cry in public, so I held it together so nobody would see me cry!

I got signed in and got my ID bracelet, before a nurse took me in the back to put in an IV - I was getting a cat scan with contrast, so they needed to be able to give me the dye. They also took blood first so that they could check my kidney function to make sure I could process the dye okay. It was fine, so I waited a couple of minutes before they brought me in for the test. I liked that I didn't have to wear a hospital gown or anything, and that the cat scan machine was open - I had an MRI a few years ago because of my migraines, and that was a TERRIBLE experience! So this was much easier. Until they injected the dye - they'd warned me that I would suddenly feel very hot, with the heat traveling from my head to my toes, like a hot flash (though my mom informed me that hot flashes are actually much worse - awesome). But as the dye went in, my arm hurt terribly. I thought that was normal, so I just held on and then I started to feel incredibly nauseous and as if I couldn't breathe. I was trying to breathe through the nausea just to get to the end of the test, but I started to gag. Fortunately, they'd gotten what they needed, and rushed in to make sure I was okay and not having an allergic reaction to the dye. I didn't get a rash or any itchiness, which was a good sign they said, but I felt weak and lightheaded for a few minutes. They went to get my mom, and then put us in a little waiting room to wait for the results. I had to keep in the IV just in case they had to admit me. Fortunately, it only took a few minutes for the results to come back and the doctor to call and say they were negative.

WHEW.

So I did just have bronchial asthma, which seems to have suddenly gotten MUCH worse since I got all stressed out about the possibility of having a blood clot. But I have an inhaler for that, so hopefully that will get better. I did go for the x-ray of my foot yesterday, but I'm still waiting to hear back from the doctor to find out what the story is. I have the all clear to keep working out - I just have to take a puff of the inhaler before I do - and once I know about my toe, I'll either be back to running or taking care of that! I'm hoping to sneak in the rest of the Shred before I would have to do anything about my injured toe :)

Only a few of my family members and friends know about what happened Tuesday, but I thought it was important to write a post about it for a couple of reasons - 1) I didn't know that chest tightness was a sign of a possible blood clot in the lungs and that really scared me, so don't assume that if you've had a lifetime of lung problems like I have that it's not something new - go to your doctor!! and 2) if I had had a pulmonary embolism, all the working out and the shoveling that I've done in the last six weeks could have killed me. Really. So I'm now a firm believer that it IS actually a good idea to consult your doctor before beginning an exercise program, and it's not just a disclaimer because of the lawyers. If I'd gone to my doctor six weeks ago, I still would have had to be tested, but I was fortunate that it turned out I didn't have a blood clot. So if you're thinking about starting a new workout and you're not feeling 100%, do me a favor and check with your doctor first.

I'm feeling so very grateful that everything turned out the way it did, and I commend Valley Hospital in Ridgewood, NJ. They were all so very kind to me - everyone asked if I had had the test before, and made sure to explain what was going to happen at each step. Everyone was very calm and pleasant there, and although I was still nervous and scared, I felt like I was in the right place and well cared for. And the whole experience really puts things into perspective. It definitely inspired me to keep up with working out and getting healthy, so that I can hopefully avoid some of the preventable health problems! I must admit that I've taken the last two days off the Shred because I've been both tired and just recovering from Tuesday's stress, but I will be back to it tomorrow and hopefully back to running again pretty soon!

The 30-Day Shred, Joining a Gym, Doctors & Finding Motivation

2010-02-23T14:48:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm finally at Day 6 of Level 2 of the Shred. I feel like it's taken me FOREVER to get to this point, between taking off a couple of days (not in a row) for shin splints, and then having to take off an extra day yesterday because of a migraine. I feel like I just about get some momentum going, when something gets in my way. The good news, besides the fact that my last two days off I did make sure to do some free weights (8lbs), crunches and push ups (girly ones, I'm not very strong :)), is that in the past, if I'd taken a day or two off in the middle of a workout run like this, I would have just quit. I have a big all-or-nothing personality, so anytime I'd start something, if I missed a day, I'd think "Oh well, I've already missed one day, why bother?"

But fortunately, learning to run last year and committing to that helped me to realize that you can miss a day or two here and there, and still come back. I'm definitely struggling with level 2 of the Shred, to the point where I am drenched in sweat by the time I'm done, but I'm sticking with it. Despite the fact that I'm terrified of level 3 - my sister said it was the first time she had trouble following the harder girl, while I've been having trouble following the easier girl all along! But I can just give it my best shot and see how it goes. I'm starting to see results - I feel stronger and a bit less like I want to keel over by the end of the workout, and I'm down about 1.4 pounds from last week (adding in a bit of dieting helped that too). The biggest motivator for me (I'm totally embarrassed to admit) has been watching old episodes of La Femme Nikita. Peta Wilson is in such great shape for the show (which finished up when she was 30, like me) and watching her kick butt makes me want to be stronger and tougher.

I realize I'm not going to get there on just 20 minutes a day of Shred, so I'm also thinking about joining a gym. I happened to get a postcard in the mail the other day for the Ocean Club, which is about 15 minutes away from me. They have a pool and water aerobics classes, which I've always looked for in a gym, and some great group classes offered too. If I'm going to get in good shape for the Mud Run in July, I'd better get moving. Plus, my biggest motivator for joining this particular gym is that they have very reasonably priced massages and I'm a sucker for a good massage. So I'm hoping to get over there on Friday to take a look around and maybe sign up. They have monthly membership options, which I like, and it would give me a place to keep running in the summer, after I basically fizzled last year because of the humidity. We'll see what happens.

And in good news for my running career, I've officially made a doctor's appointment for a week today, when I'll be up visiting my parents. Hopefully I don't have to wait two hours to see him like the last time, but I should be able to figure out my wheezing/coughing/chest tightness, toe injury, stomach pain, and maybe sort something out about the migraines that have been cropping up with more regularity and severity again lately. We'll see what he says, and hopefully I'll be back running in a couple of weeks' time!

Let's Talk Shin Splints

2010-02-16T13:35:00.000-05:00

I may not be running, but I'm definitely suffering from a common running injury - shin splints. Ugh.

Wikipedia says that shin splints are "a general term used to refer to a painful condition in the shins. It is often caused by running or jumping or sprinting, and may be very slow to heal." Since I'm not running, I can only assume that the shin splints are caused by all the lovely jumping that Jillian has us do during the Shred. I had been getting a bit of a twinge in my shins last week, and then when I started level 2 yesterday, the suffering really began. By my second day of level 2 today, there was no doubt. I had the splints.

So I asked my trusty Twitter network of friends (which includes a lot of runners) what to do, and faster than I could google the symptoms, I got three replies. All three mentioned ice, which I've never tried for shin splints before and one of them said RICE - rest, ice, compress, elevate.

So I got out my compression socks (LOVE these by the way), put my feet up on another chair by my desk, and got a couple of ice packs for my shins. Let's hope they're a quick heal! We'll see how things go, but I may take tomorrow off from the shred to give my legs a break.

I should mention that shin splints are no joke, by the way. "Untreated shin splints can lead to a stress reaction mid-shaft in the tibia, which can eventually lead to a stress fracture. A stress fracture can be diagnosed by a bone scan or an MRI and takes much longer to heal than shin splints." I know someone this happened to in college, our first week of orientation, and he walked with crutches for years, and has a limp now. So it's definitely not something I want to fool around with!

Does anyone else have shin splint cures that have worked for them? Shin splint horror stories? Well, those I may not really want to hear...

Snowmageddon & Jillian Michaels

2010-02-08T15:59:00.000-05:00

The blizzard that hit over the weekend here at the Jersey shore, among other places, is not technically running related (though I do know of a couple of people through Twitter who actually competed in races on Sunday after the blizzard, before everything was truly cleared!). However, it definitely is related to working out, since shoveling is a great way to kick your own butt - if it snowed like that every day here and I didn't break down and buy a snow blower, I'd be in fabulous shape!

Normally, I like to keep up with the snowfall so that it doesn't get overwhelming, but it just wasn't possible in this storm, unless I wanted to stay up all night. So I was greeted with 12 inches of snow when I woke up - certainly less than what those to the south were dealing with, but it was plenty for me. I was praying that my neighbors would take pity on me and offer to use their snow blower to clear me out, or that my driveway-sharing neighbor would come out and help me shovel, but unfortunately, none of that happened.

I started with a small path on the porch for the pup and realized I was way overdressed in my warmest coat. I switched to a slightly lighter coat, and was still sweating like mad even though it was only 29 degrees outside and I just had a base layer on underneath. I managed to get the sidewalk in front of my house cleared (though I nixed even attempting to clear the sidewalk by the street) and then started on the driveway in front of my car. I'd parked further back than usual, because it made it easier for me in the last snowfall to shovel that way. Even though I have just a little car, it had blocked some of the snow and created a weird wind tunnel, so instead of a solid 12 inches of snow, I had some almost clear parts and other big drifts. I finished up with clearing off my car and thought I would collapse, so I took a break.

Like any other workout, I needed to make sure I was well hydrated. I started with a glass of juice, because I figured I could use the sugar as well, and followed that with a big glass of water. After a break of about thirty to forty five minutes, I was back at it again (it was still snowing, with another 6-12 inches predicted, so I wanted to stay on top of the first snowfall so I could keep up with it). This time, I cleared the other end of my driveway - at least part of it. The snow plows had been through twice, and because I live on a cul de sac, they didn't get close enough to the curb. So I had about seven extra feet of road at the end of my driveway to shovel as well (not to mention it was piled a bit higher at the end thanks to the plow). It was really defeating to feel like I'd gotten a lot done, only to turn around and realize how much was left! I also moved my car up a bit so I could shovel the huge drift of snow between my car and my neighbor's cars.

Then, it was time for another break and some more water and juice. I didn't sit down for too long this time because I was so exhausted that I could feel my muscles starting to stiffen up and I thought if I rested for too long, I'd never get out there again. I bundled up again and headed out, this time to finish up. I tried to get into the rhythm of shoveling the top layer of soft fluffy snow, moving that to the top of an every growing pile (my arms were SO tired), and then shoveling the bottom layer, which was heavier and slushy. When I'd get really tired, I'd move to another part that I hadn't finished shoveling yet, chip away a little bit of the snow, and just push it along the part I'd already cleared to another pile of snow. Sometimes though, I just rested my head on the handle of my shovel - it was not fun.

Finally, four hours after I'd started, it was clear! Of course, the wind was so fierce that it would blow, and snow would immediately be back on the area you'd just cleared (I saw a neighbor clear his whole driveway, only to end up caught in a huge blast of wind and snow that left more snow for him to clear again). It was a bit frustrating to say the least. I headed back inside, figuring I'd go out again at four and then seven, when they said the storm would stop, which would be it for the day. In the meantime, I made myself take a nice hot shower and sit with my chair massager for a little while to loosen up my muscles.

When I went out again at four, I'd just cleared my sidewalk when my neighbor came outside to say that they were waiting until the storm had stopped to plow, and they'd be happy to help me out. Very nice of them, but I wanted to say, where were you this morning?!?! But it did mean no more shoveling for me, so I just cleared off my car and headed back inside for the night. My driveway-sharing neighbor also must have shoveled my driveway after the snow stopped because it was clear when I got up Sunday morning. It's great to have good neighbors!

With all that shoveling, I decided to put off Day 6 of Level 1 of the Shred until today. I'm still waiting to notice any real results, though I'm feeling less exhausted in the middle of the workouts and able to push myself a little more. I could tell I'd lost some momentum today because of the two days off - even though I was working out on Saturday with the shoveling, it was a mostly different set of muscles. So I won't skip two days in a row again. My sister took a day off in between each of the 10 day sets, so I'll aim for that.

Four more days at Level 1 and then I'm on to Level 2! I'm a little bit scared, but I remember being so scared that I couldn't run 20 minutes straight, and I did that, so I'll try to remember that!

Wanna Get Down and Dirty for a Good Cause?

2010-02-04T13:10:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, one of my favorite charities, Operation Gratitude, announced that they've partnered on the National Mud Run Series to support the troops. You know how I love to combine running with supporting our troops, so I'm very excited about this series! The Down and Dirty Mud Run Series features 5k and 10k off-road courses filled with military-style obstacles, commanding cargo climbs, wild water crossings, mud, mud and more mud, and a post-race barbecue, along with an awesome tech tee. You can race alongside local military personnel, public safety officers and police academy trainees, all while supporting our troops through Operation Gratitude - what could be better?

They've got four dates and locations, including:

Los Angeles, California: April 25, 2010 at Castaic Lake State Recreation Area
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: July 18, 2010 at Fairmount Park, Belmont Plateau
New York, New York: October 3, 2010 at Pelham Bay Park
Sacramento, California: October 31, 2010 at Folsom Lake State Recreation Area

The entry fee for the 10K is $70 and the 5k is $40 (with late registrations costing more). There's a military discount for active military personnel or public safety officers, which you can learn more about on their site. $2 of every registration goes right to Operation Gratitude (whose mission is to send care packages to deployed military personnel around the world) to pay for 100,000 care packages.

Also, Paul Mitchell is a race sponsor, and they'll be onsite in their own booth to cut and style your hair, with all proceeds donated to the Challenged Athlete Foundation. So you can get all dirty, then get your hair cut for a good cause!

There's no time limit to finish the course, so if you don't want to run it, you can walk and take your time - just come out to support our troops! You do have to leave your dogs at home though (and I would guess that goes for strollers as well. And iPods, unless you want to be cleaning mud out of it later).

The New York race might fall during my European conference, so I'm going to plan to do the Philadelphia one in July (yes, yes, despite the heat). I'd love to have some company! (And advice from any of you who've done a mud run before, particularly because this one seems a bit of a challenge - just what I need I think!)

To learn more, check out the links I've posted above, or you can also become a fan on Facebook. You can also follow Operation Gratitude on Twitter, become a fan on Facebook, or check out their YouTube videos (though you might need some tissues for that one).

I'm Still Here!!

2010-02-03T13:39:00.000-05:00

After my last post back in early November (gasp!), I fully expected to rest through the holidays and then be back to running by early January at the latest. It was good to get some rest - I felt the antibiotics kick in almost immediately, and really thought that it was a simple case of bronchitis and not the bronchial asthma that my doctor also suspected. But although I was feeling much less tired than I was for all of October (it was about all I could manage to make myself take a shower each day besides sitting at my desk for work), I was still wheezing and using my inhaler pretty much through to Christmas (when it ran out and not so much because I was sure I didn't need it anymore). I should mention that I'm not afraid to go to the doctor, but I still have the same GP as when I was living in North Jersey, so it's a little hard to make an appointment with a doctor who's two hours away and doesn't have any Saturday hours. Particularly when I'm now taking a three-hour Saturday ceramics class, and couldn't even take off a Friday to head up there for a couple of days.

But in my head, I was planning to head up to my parents' for two weeks over Christmas and New Years, and then return to running when I got back home. Then, three days before Christmas, I tripped walking into the kitchen (I'm SO graceful) and either broke or sprained my left big toe, or possibly tore something in there (as six weeks later, I still have pain and can't bend it at all!). I'm at the point now where I could run on it if I wanted to because it's no longer affecting how I walk, but it did delay my return to running for another couple of weeks. My original plan was to come home after New Year's, which I did do, but then I headed straight back up to my parents' that Thursday for my 30th birthday. I had a great birthday dinner with my whole family, and then my sisters surprised me with a big party the following night, which was great. I stayed through the weekend for a friend's 30th birthday party and then headed over to Europe on a business trip. And that's when my wheezing troubles started up again - when I got home about a week later, I was feeling totally exhausted AGAIN and wheezing again (I love packed airplanes). I had seasonal allergic asthma as a kid, and between that and my bouts with bronchitis and pneumonia over the years, I do sometimes have trouble with very cold air. So I've put off my return to running until I can both get back to the doctor and it warms up a little, since I don't have access to a treadmill.

However, I'm working on not being a couch potato! My sister started Jillian Michaels' 30-day Shred a few weeks' ago and enjoyed it so much that I jumped on the bandwagon (it should be said that my sister actually loves working out, which I do not, so I should have maybe taken that into account). I started the Shred on Monday at Level 1 and have done it three days in a row now. Actually, this is the second time I started it - during the three days I was home in early January, I did the first workout and couldn't move by the end of the day. I almost fell down the stairs. Twice. It took me four days to get over feeling sore. I think some of it was because I was using weights that were too heavy for me (they're old weights, and I was stronger back in college when I bought them) and I did it at the end of the day, when I was tired. So I learned from that, bought some lighter weights and started doing the 20-minute workout during lunch (after a yogurt snack around 10:30/11:00, and followed by a yogurt, skim milk, fruit smoothie). The first day was okay and I managed to get through the entire workout without needing to lie down (something else I'd experienced the first time). Yesterday was tougher - my body was sore and I wasn't giving it recovery time, so I was spent by the end of the workout. But another of my sister's friends who's doing the Shred assured me that I'd feel much better by day three - and lo and behold, I did. I was able to up my game a bit and push myself during the workout, when the last two days, it was all I could manage to keep up with the "beginner" girl in the video.

So I'm feeling pretty good after day 3, and my plan is to do what my sister did - ten days at each level (there's three). My sister says she's noticed more definition in her arms and legs, so I'm hoping to see the same and push my endurance back up, so I can get back to running again soon. I'm also getting in a 20-minute walk with the pup almost every day. And I've already been checking out 2010 races - I'd like to do the same two races in May that I did in 2009 and my sister and I are planning to do the Tunnel to Towers 9/11 Memorial Race in September, as long as I'm not away on business. And while I haven't been running, I've been thinking a lot about running, and how I really fell off with meeting my goals after I did my first two 5k's. Some of that was because I pushed myself too hard to get right back to training after the runs, with very little recovery time, and some of it was because the summer was so hot - and I hate heat and humidity. So this year, I also want to work on guarding against losing my motivation. I'm thinking about joining a gym for the summer months and doing some treadmill running (though I understand it's much easier than outdoor running) and maybe doing some more runs with friends/family (though they mostly live far away - I could make weekend plans though, which would keep me running during the week!). My overriding goal for 2010 in terms of running is to reinvigorate my love of running and get back to running three miles, three days a week.

What are your 2010 running goals?

It's Official - I have the Bronchitis

2009-11-02T17:44:00.000-05:00

It turns out that it was a good thing I listened to my body ten days ago when it told me to stop running until I'd seen the doctor, because once again, I have the brochitis. Or asthmatic bronchitis (which is the same, but without the infection). The doctor wasn't sure. But he sent me off with antibiotics and an inhaler and instructions not to rest too much because that can bring on the pneumonia.

Actually, I thought I had the pneumonia because I feel that sick and tired. I felt a bit jipped by the diagnosis, but for my body and my recovery time, I'm glad not to have it.

Unfortunately though, bronchitis scars your lungs every time you get it. I've actually lost track of the number of times I've had it, though I know I've had pneumonia four times. That, you don't forget. I blame the scarring of my lungs for my inability to run fast. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

So while everyone else has the flu or the swine flu, I have the bronchitis. I actually prefer that over the flu, because at least I can function in my daily life, though I am still so tired that I had to take a nap during my lunch break today. And unfortunately, the asthma inhaler makes my heart race, so I couldn't really sleep that well because my body felt like it was entering a panic attack. Fun times.

Needless to say, I'm out of the running game for a while, which is a bummer because I was watching the NYC marathon on Sunday and wishing I could run that fast and for that long. But I have to be careful about getting back into running once I'm recovered, because not taking bronchitis seriously and working out too soon can push me right into pneumonia. I know, because I did that once in college. So it will basically be like coming back from an injury and I'm worried I'll have to start over from scratch. But maybe that's not such a bad thing. And I think once the wheezing and coughing has died down a bit, I'll really go back to yoga, because re-conditioning my breathing would be a big help. Right now, it's so much extra work just to breathe, that walking the dog for fifteen minutes makes me lightheaded. Basically, I plan to take this a day at a time and see how things go!

Struggling...

2009-10-21T11:05:00.000-04:00

Okay, so my plan for more yoga has been going well. Three days in a row now, I've gotten up early and done 20 minutes of yoga, thus reminding myself how to breathe and centering myself before the day gets started. It helps that I've been very excited about the baby coffee maker that I got on Sunday and that I know post-yoga, I'll be able to sit for a few minutes watching tv with the pup and drinking my coffee before I have to get to work. I'm definitely feeling the yoga in my muscles still, though not so much soreness now as the feeling of strengthening. All good things.

But the running. Ugh. I planned to run today, and again wanted to get the run in before work so that I would make sure to do it. I didn't have anything major planned - I figured since I've been so tired lately, I would stick with my fifteen minutes like Monday. The weather is beautiful this morning too - sunny, cool but not too cold, and not windy. I was feeling a little bit tired (I haven't gotten as much sleep as I would have liked to this week), but figured the 15 minutes would be no big deal.

Well.

Within about 60 seconds of starting the run, I knew I was in trouble. I was EXHAUSTED. Suddenly, like I could barely pick up my feet to run. I reminded myself that the first mile is always a struggle and kept at it, but even with running very slowly, I knew I wouldn't make it the whole 15 minutes, which hasn't happened since I started running. And a month ago, I was up to 26 minutes. So. Very. Frustrating.

I managed .84 miles in 9:46, an 11:37 pace and just felt so tired. And almost embarrassed to admit that I didn't even make a mile. It's hard to describe the tiredness - it's not something I feel like I can power through, but just like my body is not capable of responding to what I want at normal speeds. It comes and goes, and I was feeling better yesterday and Monday, but today it's back in force. I had made a deal with myself that if I wasn't feeling a 100% better by today (since I've been crazy tired for almost a month now), I would make a doctor's appointment and so I now have one for next Friday. I plan to keep up the yoga and do what I can with the running until then, and we'll see how it goes. My mom suspects I picked something up during my trip (ah planes are great for germs) since my dad has been uber-tired also and part of me is wondering if it's walking pneumonia. I've been feeling much more short of breath lately, sometimes with a little bit of a cough, and it wouldn't be my first dance with pneumonia (I've had it 4 times). So we'll see what the doctor says! Hopefully he can figure it out asap so I can feel better and get my running back up to par!

Here I Go Again...

2009-10-19T17:49:00.000-04:00

And I'm back to running again! All my good intentions for running in Athens flew right out the window and I spent most of my limited free time napping, because I was so jet-lagged. I'm still not sure I ever really acclimatized to the time difference, especially after I stayed up until about 5:30am Greek time on the last night I was there and never felt tired, even without coffee. And I had to be up at 7am to leave the hotel to catch my plane. So all of that, plus the return jet lag and a general exhaustion that seems to have set in over the past few weeks has thrown me right off track. I'm not sure what it is, but I've just been. so. tired. lately.

So I gave myself this weekend to get as much sleep as possible, since I was out of town last weekend, which of course, meant I had trouble falling asleep last night (awesome) even though I was still tired all day long. I decided I need to be doing more yoga (like every day) and get back to my running, so I picked today as the day to start, no excuses. I know it's not necessary to start on a Monday, but there's something about starting something new on a Monday that just feels right. I also decided that I need to be drinking coffee every day, so I got a baby coffee maker on sale at Target yesterday. So although I was tired today, I didn't feel like my eyes were closing at my desk like I have the last few weeks!

Unfortunately, I had a serious case of the Mondays when I woke up. Not only had I not fallen asleep until after 2am, but the puppy woke me up at 6:30. I think he knows the time I set my alarm for, and aims for about an hour beforehand, just to keep me from sleeping a decent amount of time. I refused to let him out, since I know how long he can wait for, but he continued to whine until I finally got up about an hour later. So that started me off grouchy. But I did get in my yoga practice, and have been feeling it all day particularly in my hip, which makes me realize how long I've been away from it. Yoga is a funny thing for me - kind of like running - whenever I finish a yoga practice, I feel so good, so centered and much more relaxed and I think "I should do this ALL the time!" But of course, when the next time to do one rolls around, I think, no, I'm too tired or I have something better today. Very strange. So I'm hoping I keep it up, because it does have a calming effect on me.

I was feeling motivated after yoga and I had planned to run at lunch, but I realized I had some extra time before work, knew I wouldn't be running far, and also knew that if I waited until lunch, I'd probably talk myself out of it. So I threw on my running clothes and a fleece (it was in the thirties this am) and quick headed out the door.

The run was a struggle, but it felt good to do it. My wishful thinking set my clock at 26 minutes to keep on track with where I was before I left for Athens, but about four minutes into the run, I realized I'd be happy to make 15 minutes. I pushed myself and did do 15 minutes, about 1.32 miles and an 11:21 pace, playing the Numb (encore) on repeat pretty much the whole way - it's my go-to motivation song. I definitely felt like I was running faster than the 11:21 pace, but I'll get there...again. It's frustrating to go back and forth, to lose motivation, and then see how much of my endurance I lose with it and any time I take off, but I felt good when I got home and reminded myself that that important thing was that I got moving today. If I can keep that up, I'll be in good shape. And I only have one short conference before the end of the year, so I'm hoping that I won't be able to give myself any excuses! Plus, I do love my post-run hot shower when the weather is so chilly!

Run Lindsay, Run Receives it's First Blogging Award - From my Sis

2009-10-13T17:09:00.000-04:00

Despite a lack of running posts (and running!) lately, Run Lindsay, Run received its first blogging award today from my sister, over at her blog, Mommy Musings. Thanks Mandy!

So now that I've won this award, I'm supposed to do a few things:

1-Thank the person who nominated you for this award. (Check)

2-Copy the logo and place it on your blog. (Done)

3-Link to the person who nominated you for this award. (Yup)

4-Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know. (Hmm...)

5-Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.

6-Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.

7-Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.

Here are the seven things you may not know about me:

1. I am a recovering perfectionist who likes having everything just so. I have trouble doing things if I think they won't turn out right or I won't be good at them. But I'm getting better at it, because I've really seen how perfectionism gets in the way of enjoying life!

2. I'm one of the world's pickiest eaters, though I'll pretty much try anything once. I really don't like seafood or vegetables, but I did just find out over the weekend that I like scrambled eggs when they have more than just eggs and salt in them!

3. I have two tattoos.

4. I have dual citizenship with the US and England, because my dad is British. But I still don't have my UK passport.

5. I am way too plugged in to social networking and my email. I thought I would have a forced break this weekend because I usually don't get service on my phone in Lake Placid, but AT&T has gotten better. I checked my email and Facebook way too much.

6. I don't like talking on the phone and almost never call people. I was a telemarketer right after college and had to make 100-150 phone calls a day, and it basically killed any desire to pick up the phone ever again. I'm always afraid I'll be bothering the person I'm calling.

7. I have a terrible sweet tooth. I'm working on not eating as much candy lately, which was going well until I had to grab some candy as my lunch at a rest stop while driving home yesterday (the line for real food was almost out the door because 72 tourist buses had just arrived. At 3pm. C'mon people). I drink a Pepsi every day, and really love brownies and a good chocolate chip cookie. There's not many sweet things I don't like, though chocolate by itself will often give me a headache.

My seven blogs are:
http://lookingglasslane.com/wordpress/
http://www.hisboyscanswim.com/
http://booshay.blogspot.com/
http://thepioneerwoman.com/
http://elizabethfedofsky.blogspot.com/
http://quirkyredliner.blogspot.com/
http://www.themaverickmom.com/

I never miss a post from these ladies!

Last Run Before Athens

2009-09-21T11:14:00.000-04:00

Another quick post - today, I am off to Athens! So yesterday, I got in one last run before my trip, hitting a local park with my sister and niece. My goal was 26 minutes, and with beautiful weather yesterday, it was a great day for running. Aside from races, I've never run with anyone else, so I wasn't sure how well I'd do. But we had fun - we started very slow because my sister has to push the jogging stroller with the baby in it, but I think that again helped me to get through the whole run feeling pretty good. She broke off after a couple of laps and I continued, doing about 2.2 miles in 26 minutes. Not very fast at more than a 12-minute mile, but I was glad to get out there, enjoy the weather, and have a nice run with my sister.

Hopefully I'll get a run in on Wednesday at the hotel and Saturday afternoon as well!

A Quick Update - Did Get a Run in Today!

2009-09-18T11:45:00.000-04:00

Just a quick update, since I'm rushing around trying to get out the door to head to my parents' house. Despite waking up with a mild migraine thanks to regular lack of sleep this week, I made myself put on my running clothes first thing so I'd make sure to go for a run. A 24-minute run, combined with 3 Excedrin migraine actually seemed to help (maybe it's the opening of the blood vessels). I really focused on slowing down today because I wasn't feeling so hot, and I actually felt good the whole run for a change - good stuff! I'm a bit bummed that my overall pace is down, but I'd rather be able to finish a run feeling good once in a while and be a bit slower, and build my speed over time. So today, I finished 2.07 miles in 24 minutes, an 11:35 pace. Next run on Sunday up at my parents' and then off to Greece!

A Blustery Run - the Wind is Back!

2009-09-16T16:18:00.000-04:00

Today is a cold, rainy, blustery day. Great running weather. Also great weather for curling up in a big cozy bed for a nap, but unfortunately, that's not on my to-do list today.

I did however, go for a run. It was cold enough when I left that although I was wearing my running tights and a tee shirt, I was wishing for a sweatshirt - I was so glad to finally have a chill before I started running!

On the schedule for today - 22 minutes. As I started running, I could feel myself going a bit fast because it was chilly. That wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but I recently read that if you start off slow, it delays the build-up of lactic acid, which is what causes fatigue. So I kept trying to focus on slowing myself down. Sometimes, the wind helped with that, because it was blowing hard enough to take my breath away today. Lovely. I remembered how much I really hate that first mile and kept hoping that the second mile would be better. I did eventually find a good pace, which surprised me, because it's been a while since I've felt like I've settled into a pace at all. Usually, it's a lot of huffing and puffing and being convinced that I'm going to die and then slowing down to walk and mentally beating myself up for not being able to run when it's humid and hot. But today, I felt more comfortable, finally - yay! I did end up with a stitch in my side for the second run in a row, but since I'm not eating right before I run, I think it must be that my breathing is not where it's supposed to be because I'm out of practice. Hopefully that will come back soon and I can pick up the pace a bit.

I ran the entire 22 minutes, which made me very happy that I've been setting and achieving my goals for each run. I managed 2 miles in 22:02, or an 11:01 pace - still slower than I'd like, but I'll get there. Once I'm up to regular 35 minute runs, I'll throw in some speed work.

Friday is my last run at home before I head to my parents for the weekend, a run up there on Monday, and then a business trip to Athens! Since it's hilly there, I've already checked to see that they have a very nice gym at the hotel, and hopefully I can sneak in a couple of runs while I'm there, so I don't lose my momentum. I still don't feel like I've been the same runner since I missed that week of running in June for our San Francisco conference. So we'll see how it goes!

The Heat Returns & I Slow Down

2009-09-14T12:28:00.004-04:00

As I left for my run this morning, I was nervous. Even a little afraid. I wasn't sure why - I was planning to run 20 minutes this morning, and after all, I've run 20 minutes before. Maybe it was because it has warmed up again? But I consoled myself with the thought that this was likely one of the last warm days I'd have to run this year. So I couldn't figure out my apprehension. I suspect it was because I knew my creepy neighbor was out walking his dog, and I worried about running into him. Which I did (though not literally) and he stopped and stared at me as I ran on the other side of the road. Good thing a run cures frustration!

As I started to run, I thought "oof, this is going to be a tough one." But I reminded myself how negative self-talk can really affect a run, and instead focused on getting it done. After the first five minutes, I was struggling. This time, my lungs felt good, but my legs were already tired! I couldn't believe I was only a quarter of the way through! Since it is warmer today than it has been, I tried to focus on slowing down and leading with my hips. It looks like I was successful at slowing down at least, since my per mile time was at least 10 seconds slower than my last two runs - the heat definitely affects me!

The ten minutes in between the first and last five were okay. I kept telling myself to keep running and just to put one foot in front of the other. By the last five minutes, everything was hurting - my legs were giving up, my lungs were burning, and I had a stitch in my side. But I still didn't take a walking break. I just kept running. I ended up doing 1.8 miles in 20:03, an 11:08 pace (14 seconds slower than Saturday). But that's okay - I ran the entire 20 minutes, which is what I wanted to do, and I'm using the heat and only one recovery day as my excuses for slowing down. We'll see what Wednesday brings!

Time for Good Runs!

2009-09-12T18:10:00.002-04:00

Despite an overwhelming desire to stay in bed all morning, I did push myself to get up and run today (much to my dog's dismay, who was all set to spend all morning napping on my bed). Although I'd initially thought that I would get a week of 15 minute runs in, I decided to push myself this morning and make it 18 minutes. Not a big difference, but I'd love to get back to running 35 minutes easily sooner rather than later, so I need to get a move on!

The weather today was cool and overcast, but it's still a bit humid. I could tell this was playing havoc with me as I got through the first five minutes, and my mind definitely wanted me to take a walking break or reduce my overall time. But I knew that I'd never get back to where I want to be without ignoring the whiny voice in my head, so I just kept running. My legs felt pretty good (though my quads were definitely SORE for the two days after my first run back) and it was just my lungs holding me back - my level of endurance has definitely decreased. I'm hoping that because I'm starting back up running in September, that I'll have a number of good months of running under my belt (and that it won't really snow too much this winter), so that I can really be committed to running next summer. Or maybe I'll just join a gym for the summer, so that I don't have to deal with the humidity!

At any rate, I was definitely struggling towards the end of the run, but I just kept focusing on how good I would feel to finish it and how much I wanted to be able to run that 18 minutes easily soon. I finally hit my mark, and ran 1.65 miles, or a 10:54 pace. It's nice to see that I'm running a decent pace when I feel like I'm running SO SLOWLY and I hope that bodes well for future runs!

I had wanted to get this run in yesterday (which would have allowed me to wallow in bed for the morning), but we had a nasty two-day storm hit the coast here. I know that north Jersey had some rain too, but we got hit hard enough to flood the road that I run on (further up from where I was today), and a lot of surrounding towns had several feet of water in the road. I was lucky to avoid that, but the rain and wind were so loud on Thursday night that I didn't get very much sleep, as I worried about my new fence and crawl space. So I decided that although I don't mind a good run in the rain, it's probably not that safe to run with high winds that can fling debris at you. I'm not crazy or anything!

But speaking of crazy, I am planning to do this year's Ocean Running Club Reindeer Romp, which is a 5k held in early December. I know some people might think that's nuts, but I'd rather run in the cold than the heat! Plus, it should be fun. It also looks like they do a winter running series in the same park as the summer series, starting in January, so I might sign up for that as well. The more 5k's I can push myself to do, the better!

My next run should be on Monday, and I'm planning to push my time up to 20 minutes!

9-11-2001 - Never Forget

2009-09-11T14:42:00.001-04:00

Today, I break from posts about running to remember the events of September 11, 2001. On that day, I was a senior in college, asleep on my futon. With the head of my bed closest to our phone, I was the one to pick it up when it rang that beautiful sunny September morning. I heard my roommate's boyfriend (now husband) ask for her, and he sounded so terrible, I thought someone in his family had died. In shock as she listened to him, she told me to put on the tv and we saw the results of the first plane's hit on the North Tower. I knew my dad was supposed to fly to Portugal that day for a conference, and had it in my head that his flight was that morning. In a panic, I managed to get him on the phone before the lines were too busy with frantic calls from loved ones and found out his flight was supposed to be later that day. Since then, I've heard so many stories like that of near escapes and plain luck.

My roommate and I watched in shock and horror as the second plane crashed into the South Tower. We called our friends in the next dorm to see if they'd heard the news, and found out that one of them had a cousin who worked there (we later found out that she was just in the lobby when the plane hit, and managed to get out safely). We decided that we just wanted to be together, so I vaguely remember rushing around to throw on some clothes so we could head over there. I was standing at the sink, my roommate at her dresser, when we heard Matt Lauer say the South Tower had collapsed. I thought he must be kidding, and we rushed back to the tv to see that it was true. After we reached our friend's dorm room, the four of us watched the North Tower collapse, at first believing it to be re-aired footage of the first collapse.

At that time, it felt like pure chaos. On the news, they were saying that more than 30 planes were unaccounted for, and as we heard about the attack on the Pentagon and the crash of flight 93, I wondered when it would end. It felt like the end of the world. We were devastated, horrified, scared, and overwhelmed. Finally, there was an eerie calm as we tried to make sense of it. I still had to go to my job, first a lunch with my boss and another student - my boss was originally from Rockland county, so she knew firefighters in New York. I'm not sure how that lunch went because we were both in a fog, but I do remember watching the coverage with her when we got back to the computer lab where I worked. We were still in shock.

The campus posted a website where they would update the names of those who had confirmed that they were okay in New York and D.C., so we watched for friends' names to pop up. Our college lost three alumni that day. The school put together a hasty memorial service for that night and most professors cancelled classes. The next day, I was with three classmates on an errand when the 7pm memorial time started - the President had called the nation to stand outside with candles at that time, in memory of those we had lost. I stood in a parking lot with these three friends for an hour, until candle wax was melting over our fingers and the flame was threatening to burn out. Motorists honked and waved. More people joined us and we cried together. But it was comforting, the togetherness. I always think of that night on the 9/11 anniversary.

And I think about my dad. My dad who almost worked at Cantor Fitzgerald and was almost working there that day. My dad, who had to sit in his office alone and watch friends and former colleagues perish as the towers fell. What a nightmare for him, but how fortunate for my family that his life had taken a different turn. I think of those friends. Kevin Dennis, a stock broker for Cantor Fitzgerald, who left behind his wife and two young twin sons. Randy Scott, a broker at Euro Traders, who left behind his wife and three daughters and who I can still remember sitting on the couch in our living room in Old Tappan. And many more. It reminds me that just because time passes, the loss is no less great. I saw some of the young children at the memorial today, and knew that they may have never known the loved ones their families were mourning.

Since 9/11, I have watched friends and family serve overseas because of the events of that day - my brother-in-law, cousin, their friends and our friends. Their service and the sacrifice of their families reminds me of 9/11. And I long for that sense of unity and community I felt in the days and weeks after the terrible events of that day - the sense that we could all get through this together.

Today, as I watched the families and volunteer representatives read the almost 3,000 names, I cried along with the family members who broke down remembering their loved one. I thought about how I would feel if it were my sister, my father, my husband, my best friend lost that day. My heart goes out to them and I hope they can find strength and peace today. A father who had lost his son said that it wasn't raining today - that these were tears. I think he's right.

9/11 - We will never forget.

I'm Back!

2009-09-09T15:14:00.008-04:00

I would like to say that I've spent the last 18 days running or biking and just forgetting to blog, but unfortunately, that's not the case!

Following my post about the Run for the Fallen, I dealt with another week of that brutal migraine. Even though the weather vastly improved, I was still feeling sick, exhausted, and as if a truck had run over me. Finally, I started to feel better and the weather cooled off enough that it would be possible for me to run in the middle of the day (which is what I prefer). But I was scared. I hadn't run as much as I should have this summer, because I hate humidity and getting up early, and I didn't know where that left me. I'd started to really despise running this summer, and I wanted to get back to a more consistent schedule with the better weather, but I was afraid that I'd still hate it. That I couldn't run as far or as fast. That coming back would be too hard, since I hadn't been a runner for that long.

But basically, I just needed to get back on the horse and do it again. I had thought about running over the weekend, but a fence project took priority and meant all of my muscles were sore and already pushed to the limits. So that left starting today. After another migraine last night, I wasn't sure how I'd feel when I woke up this morning. I did feel tired, but I knew it was just excuses and worried that if I didn't just get out there and run, I'd never do it. I wanted to push myself and figured that I couldn't skip the workout if I was already dressed for it! So I put on my running clothes and decided to run around lunchtime.

I figured I'd start off the run and see how I felt before making a decision as to how long to run for. As I picked up the pace, I felt pretty good - much better than the sick, mushy feeling I had gotten every time I ran when it was humid. What a relief! I reminded myself that I normally struggle through the first mile, and thought I'd try for 20 minutes. But around six minutes, I realized that I'd never make 20 and instead decided to go for 15. I kept up my pace and ran with my hips, turning around at 7:30. As I neared the 15-minute mark, I realized that I wasn't going to make it to where I'd started, so I had to make a decision - did I push it and continue to run until I got back to my starting point? Or did I listen to my body, which thought the last 30 seconds was some of the toughest running I've done? I decided I needed to push it, and it turned out to only be an additional 45 seconds. I did 1.44 miles in 15:45, which is a 10:56 pace.

Although it wasn't one of my longer runs, it's the longest I've run consecutively in a while, so I'm happy with it. I was also glad to see that my speed (for me, under 11 minutes is good) did come back with the dip in temperature and humidity, so that made me feel pretty good too. My plan is to get back up to running 35 minutes, three days a week and I think I can do that well into the winter, since we don't get a lot of snow or ice here. I felt a good tired when I got back from the run, which I haven't felt in a long time, so I'm looking forward to jumping back into the routine!

Run for the Fallen - an Incredible Experience

2009-08-24T18:25:00.006-04:00

As you may know from my earlier post, this past Saturday was NJ's Run for the Fallen, which was an awesome experience.

After a week away from running (and really any athletic activity at all), I was honestly a bit apprehensive about the run. Towards the end of the week, the weather report was calling for major storms on Friday and Saturday, separate from Hurricane Bill which was to be 400 miles off the coast of NJ by Saturday afternoon. As I drove to my parents' for dinner on Friday night, I could see dark black clouds rolling in and we all expected the storms to converge on the area with a bang.

But no. Instead, only more and more humidity rolled in.

I had friends coming in Friday night and Saturday morning (two of whom would also be running with me), and we woke up to bright sun on Saturday, which eventually gave way to clouds. An afternoon spent on the beach with a nice breeze gave me hope that the run would be cool enough and that the migraine that had started on Friday afternoon would dissipate, but neither of those things happened. I kept thinking about the active duty and reserve airmen and soldiers who had been running through NJ since 6am that morning and hoping that the humidity hadn't been too hard on them. We would be meeting up with runners around mile 75, where they would be placing a mile marker for 1st Lt. Michael Cleary, Hamilton class of 2003 and the inspiration for the first national Run for the Fallen held last year. Any time I thought about how little I've been running lately, or how humid it would be, I just remembered that we'd be running for military men and women who can't run anymore. After the run, I got to go home to my nice air conditioned house, where I could take a shower and rest, while these service members don't get to go home again. Running a couple of miles was the least I could do.

Around 5:30, we headed out to where I thought mile 75 was and it turned out I'd mapped it just past there (I'm legendary for getting lost, so it's really a miracle we found them at all). But the important thing was the run itself, so when we saw the two-man team running with their flags and a police escort, along with Warriors' Watch, we joined up. As the run's organizer, Bubba Beason, later told the paper, the "humidity along Route 9 [was] so thick you could cut it with a knife." It felt like running through a sauna. But it was worth it. We stopped at the first mile marker (for us, mile 76 for the overall run) to place a flag and card in remembrance of Spec. Gil Mercado of Paterson, NJ.

As the runners headed out again, we met up with Bubba (known in my first post as "The guy in charge, who said they'd love to have me") who had been in the first team of runners that morning, and was following the runners in a pickup. He thanked me for doing this, which made me laugh, because it felt like such a small gesture in return for the gratitude I feel for our military, especially those who have made the ultimate sacrifice. I think he could also tell I was already getting overheated, because he offered to give me a ride up to the next mile marker. So did another nice woman escorting the runners. But I felt like I would be cheating - I was running such a small distance, how could I give up and accept a ride?

We were a little ways behind the other runners at that point, and after a few more minutes. I was really struggling. I told my friends to go on ahead while I walked for a few minutes. I alternated running and walking to the next mile marker, in remembrance of Pfc. Bruce Miller Jr. of Orange, NJ. I didn't make it in time for the flag placing, but I was determined to make it to the next mile marker, even if I had to crawl there.

A few of the passing motorists honked as they passed and there were a few people gathered at each of the mile markers, which I thought was great. I wished more people had been there to remember the fallen, but at least there are some who never forget. And since Bubba's planning to continue doing this year after year, I'm sure it will only build on itself!

The last mile I ran (& walked) was certainly the slowest, but I pushed myself (I made it almost 3 miles total). I missed the flag placing at the final mile marker we stopped at, in remembrance of Sgt. Trista Moretti of South Plainfield, NJ and I couldn't have been happier to have been a part of the run. Overall the run raised $16,000 and my friends and family generously donated $190 of that. After we left the runners, they continued on to Toms River, where they stopped for the night before running the next day north to Holmdel. The run ended with a 10k that other volunteers could register for and run, capped off with a ceremony at the NJ Vietnam Veterans' Memorial. For the full story and photos, check out the Asbury Park Press. I would have loved to participate in the final five miles, but the migraine finally did me in and landed me in bed for two days (hence the late post).

Continuing Run for the Fallen in NJ this year was a great thing that Bubba and his fellow runners accomplished and I'm so grateful that I could be a little part of it.

Short Run, Sore Quads

2009-08-14T09:44:00.003-04:00

You know what they say about the best laid plans...

I was actually thinking about getting in a bike ride on Wednesday night, right up until about lunchtime, when a fierce thunderstorm blew in here and pounded us with lightning, thunder, and enough rain to flood my entire yard and my crawl space. So instead of sneaks, I was sporting knee high rubber boots and babysitting my sump pump.

But since I'd gotten a run in that morning, I didn't feel too bad. And it turned out it was probably better that I skipped the bike. I seem to have a delayed reaction to bike riding. Whenever I go for a ride, I feel great the next day - no muscle soreness or tiredness, which was what allowed me to feel pretty good on Wednesday's run (aside from the humidity of course). But when I woke up on Thursday, holy quad-soreness Batman! That hour bike ride on Tuesday night followed by 25 minutes of running on Wednesday morning kicked my butt!

Fortunately, quad soreness does not result in any funny walking, except for when going up and down stairs. And of course, yesterday was laundry day, so I got to do that a lot. Awesome. My legs were still sore enough last night that I debated whether I'd get up and run this morning. I figured I should plan for it though, in case it was good running weather. When my alarm went off and I checked the temperature, it was only 61 degrees - I knew I'd kick myself later if I didn't push myself out of bed and out the door, so I got myself up and ready.

Of course, 61 degrees sounds beautiful. And it would be. If it wasn't also already 88% humidity.

Because of the high humidity and my quads still feeling the burn, I decided to stick with a shorter run that was all run, no walking. Unfortunately, I wasn't paying close enough attention to be able to map my run correctly, but from my estimates, I think I was fairly close to a 10 minute pace (which I keep thinking just CAN'T be right, but who knows). I pushed myself to run 15 minutes, which is the longest consecutive time I've run in a few weeks and once my quads warmed up, they actually felt pretty good. My main problem again was overheating quickly. Even though I definitely felt sick at the end of the run, I was satisfied with it because it was one of those runs that showed me that once the cooler weather comes around, I'll be back to longer runs again. Although I love sitting on the beach in the warmer weather, the fall is my favorite season for a lot of reasons, and I really can't wait for the cooler weather to come back!

So hopefully this weekend I can get in a couple of bike rides and swims in between beach time!

It's a Tie

2009-08-12T11:41:00.004-04:00

Last night, I finally got out for a bike ride again. It's been so unbelievably humid the last few days, which has some people saying "Yay! Summer is finally here!" and me saying "Where's fall already??" Because it took me until after 3am to fall asleep on Sunday night, I've been having trouble motivating myself in any way to get up early to run. Because I'd missed runs all weekend with friends in town, I was feeling very lazy yesterday. So I pushed myself to get on the bike last night and spend an hour cruising around the various dead end streets around my neighborhood. It was certainly humid, but you always get a better breeze on the bike, so it didn't seem nearly as impossible as running would have. And I'm really loving the exhaustion I'm getting in my quads and hamstrings after a long ride. Plus, riding my bike around here always reminds me of why I moved here in the first place - I can take in the hazy sunset over the swampy marshland just across from the bay and smell the salty breeze as it wafts in from the water. At that time of night, the water is my favorite - I would never get in it after watching Shark Week and gaining the knowledge that sharks feed at that time of day, but it's a reflective blue that shimmers in the waning sun, a color that you get no other time of the day. Riding a bike seems to give me the mental relaxation that allows me to take that all in - whenever I'm running, especially in the humidity, I'm mostly thinking of survival, so I don't notice as much. Though when the weather was cooler, I was trying to take the time to soak it all in!

After I got back, slick with sweat, I was ready for a dip in the pool. I changed into my suit, but then got a phone call from an old friend right before I headed out the door. Old friends are certainly more important than the pool, so I'll have to leave that for another night! I think it may have been better that I skipped it anyway, because I might have been less motivated to get up this morning for a run. I was still tired when my alarm went off, but not the sick-tired I've been feeling, so I focused on the endorphins the run would bring, threw on my clothes and headed out the door.

Although it was only about 71 degrees, the humidity was still pretty high (really any humidity is too high for me :)). Despite this, I was determined to get in a good run. I started slow to compensate for the weather and reminded myself of how much I always hate the first mile. I was keeping slightly more than a 10-minute pace for the first mile, which felt slow but obviously wasn't slow enough. I started to get overheated around the 8-minute mark, and told myself I'd do 10-10-10 running with 5 minutes of walking in between each interval. I felt okay around the 10-minute mark, so I changed my mind and wanted to push myself to 15 minutes.

Well, that was silly.

Around 11 minutes, I felt very overheated, so I slowed to a walk for five minutes. I was right by the water at this point, and this time of morning is always beautiful. If you're a morning person. And fishing instead of running. But I digress. There was a slight breeze, but the humidity is so high that it was more about moving around warm air and not cooling me off. I still felt hot, so I decided I'd switch to 10 minutes, 5 walking, 8 minutes, 5 walking, 6 minutes and done. I started up my eight minute interval and pushed myself as much as I could. Around six minutes, I very much wanted to stop, but I'd made a decision, so I kept going. I was very happy to walk for five minutes and was definitely regretting my decision to wear a hat. With short hair, it's tough - I like to wear a hat to keep it out of my face (and avoid crazy runner hair), but heat escapes from your head, so it actually makes me hotter. I'm still working on the balance and basically just waiting for the cooler weather so I can be happy again about running.

After my second five-minute walk, I started to run again and realized that I had turned around too late and was actually going to finish the run pretty far from home. Ugh. By this time, I was so thirsty, I felt like I'd never make it. A police officer passed in his car, and I actually wondered if he might have some water in there and think I looked pathetic enough to stop and give it to me. He didn't. But I wanted to finish my six minutes, so I kept at it, ending up with what I thought was a sharp pebble in the back of my shoe with about 90 seconds left to go. I kept telling myself "You can do anything for 90 seconds," and then the same for 60 and 30 and 15 seconds. Finally, I was done. I wiped at the pebble in my shoe, but it kept bugging me, so I finally sat down to take a look. No pebble, just a nice blister - I guess my sock had slipped down a little! I limped for a few minutes until the pain became manageable and I cooled off a bit. Realizing how far I still had to walk, I got bored quickly and decided I could make it another two minutes. So I pushed myself to run another two minutes, which definitely did me in.

By the time I got home, I was very excited about two things:

1) That I had air conditioning. Which was on.

2) That I had remembered to fill the Brita the night before, so I had a lot of cold, cold water waiting just for me. So. Good. Although really, I kept thinking about Pepsi, which I've been limiting lately. I think it may be just too good for me to actually give up, no matter how bad it is for me. I just have a sweet tooth that won't be denied!

I was also very excited about the post-run shower. Until I got in and remembered how much it hurts to run water over a fresh blister. Good thing I just wear flip flops around the house. The joys of running.

Despite that, I was very satisfied with making myself get up and run today and I'm really feeling the exhaustion in my legs, which have stiffened up nicely. I still wasn't thrilled with having to walk some, but I'm redefining success for this summer as being any running at all in this humidity. Although I felt like the humidity beat me today, someone pointed out that it really was more of a tie, so I'll take that. I'll reassess when the nicer weather arrives in the fall, and I'm very excited to get back to some real running, when the only thing I'm battling is the limitations of my own body. Hopefully tonight I might get in a bike ride or swim, but I might put those off until tomorrow morning. It's still a constant struggle of always being happy and satisfied when I do workout, but still putting it off as much as possible. I'm blaming the weather - that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Missing those Humidity-less Days!

2009-08-06T16:40:00.003-04:00

Well, faithful readers, I have again been neglecting my blog, and my running! After the final ORC Summer Series 5k, I found it tough to get back into the swing of running, despite my best intentions. However, last Saturday, I woke up early, saw that it was only 70 degrees outside and felt that I NEEDED to run.

I gave myself the goal of 35 minutes, but it turned out that the humidity was pretty high that morning, which sapped all my endurance. I decided that rather than beat myself up for getting so tired during my runs lately that I have to include some walking breaks, I'd just admit that the summer's humidity was getting to me, and make the best of them. So I managed to get in 25 minutes of solid running, broken up with a total of ten minutes of walking breaks. Not too bad.

After that decent run, I felt motivated to get back into my three-day a week schedule. I decided that part of my problem was not getting to bed early enough, so I've been working (successfully) on making myself get into bed and trying to fall asleep before 11, to give me a solid 8 hours of sleep before a 7am run. However, it seems that my body has had other plans. Every night this week, starting with Sunday night, I've had a violent nightmare, scary enough to wake me out of a deep sleep. And since I'm such a great sleeper to start with, it then takes me anywhere from 30-60 minutes to fall back asleep, which has left me exhausted in the mornings. So I've been skipping the runs.

However, much to my own surprise, I haven't been sitting on the couch. Sunday morning, I took a nice thirty-minute swim at the condo pool (which sounds cool, but honestly, I can only do the breast stroke, and only with my head above the water. I'm so sporty.), and Monday and Wednesday, I took evening bike rides. Monday was my first time on a bike in about fifteen years - when I was a teenager, I rode my bike through what I thought was a small pile of sand. It turned out to be enough to turn my wheel and result in a crash - nothing like falling right onto sand and pavement. I haven't really been on a bike since, but my dad recently got new tires for my bike (which I honestly didn't still think we had) and my brother-in-law and sister dropped it off last weekend. So it was clearly time to get back on the bike.

I didn't want to put the bike in my shed, partly because I knew it would be a convenient place to just forget about it, and partly because my creepy neighbor was sitting outside at the time and I didn't want to deal with his interrogation and snarky remarks about my bike. So instead, I'm storing it right in my living room. I've found that's a good motivator. So Monday night, I took it easy, cruising around some of the side streets near my house and realizing that if you're going to live at the beach, you really should have a bike to ride. I would have ridden again Tuesday, but anyone who's been away from bike riding for an extended period of time, only to come back to it again, knows that it takes a WHILE to readjust and get comfortable.

Yesterday, after yet another nightmare ruined my plans for a morning run, I figured I'd give an evening run a shot. Until I saw that the temperature at 5:30 was 90 degrees. And it was still humid. While some people like to run in the humidity, it gives me an almost instant headache, so I decided instead to break out the bike again. This time, I pushed myself hard, putting the bike in a tougher gear than Monday's ride and pushing myself a bit so I could really feel the burn in my quads. When I run, I really feel the run more in my calves, so I think biking will be a good off-running day activity to really strengthen my legs. I rode about 5 miles in a half hour (I want to think that's pretty good, but I think some triathletes are doing between 25-30 an hour, so I feel a bit wimpy as usual). But I definitely felt as if I could have fallen right over by the time I got back home, so I was happy with the workout nonetheless.

This morning would have been a perfect morning for a run, because it was cool, low humidity and raining. But I again had a crazy nightmare that woke me up, and the sudden wake-up combined with the weather was a recipe for the perfect migraine. So instead of running, I took three Excedrin migraine, ate a yogurt to coat my stomach, put my eye mask back on and tried in vain to get comfortable or fall back asleep. So no running today, but some yoga might be in the cards for tonight! I'm hoping this weather sticks around for the morning, so that I can get a nice run in tomorrow!

I'm also looking forward to those humidity-less days that will hopefully come with September. I found a new plan on CoolRunning.com for doubling my mileage (for those 5k slowpokes like me), and once it cools off a bit, I plan to put it into effect. But meanwhile, I have to get my mileage back up for the Run for the Fallen run coming up in a couple of weeks - good thing we'll be breaking at each mile marker, though I still highly doubt I can keep up a 9:30 pace with those soldiers!

Humidity, Bugs and the Final ORC Summer Series 5k

2009-07-21T22:22:00.005-04:00

Tonight was the final 5k in the Ocean Running Club's Summer Series. I felt far less grouchy about it than I had last week, mostly because my legs were feeling pretty strong after Sunday's run and three solid days of yoga. When this morning dawned grey and rainy, I took that as a good sign that maybe the weather would be cool enough for the race. Unfortunately, the only thing the rain brought with it was heavy humidity, so much so that it felt more like you were wearing a wet blanket than standing outside. And with the humidity came the tiny bugs that are common here at the beach. I figured that at least the threat of bugs biting me would motivate me to run faster!

As race time drew near, it started to pour outside. I had high hopes that it would keep up, so that the rain would keep me cool. But it eventually stopped, leaving us with a pocket of humidity and bugs right in time for the race. Good times.

But I was ready. The kids headed out for their one-mile run, and the first runners back were hitting 6-minute miles - pretty impressive! Then, the race-walkers headed out. There were only four of them this week, and I managed to pass two of them during my run, so I thought that was a vast improvement. Finally, it was race time. We lined up, slowpokes in the back as usual, and a woman standing next to me asked if everyone racing was a serious runner. I told her that a lot of them were, but that she wouldn't see any real competition from me. She had just come to the park for her regular run and heard about the race, so she signed up. I thought we'd pace each other throughout the run, but she was much faster than me from the get-go!

The race finally started and we headed out. I kept a slow-ish pace to start with, not wanting to push myself too hard and burn out from the humidity too early. After the first mile, I was at 10:07, five seconds faster than last week's first mile. I knew I'd have to push myself the rest of the way if I wanted to finish faster than last week's time. I dug deep for the second mile, rounded the water stop and hit the second mile marker at 20:34, MUCH faster than last week's time of 21:14. I knew if I kept it up, I would be on pace to beat last week's time at least, if not my first 5k. So despite feeling the effects of the humidity, I continued to push myself through the third mile. I alternately felt nauseous and lightheaded, but figured as long as I didn't pass out, I was in good shape!

Coming into the last tenth of the mile, I kept the finish in sight and it looked like it was just moving further and further away. But finally, I was there! Finishing at 32:03, a full minute ahead of last week's time, also a full 44 seconds ahead of my first 5k! Still a minute more than my PR, but someday, I'll be faster!

Afterwards, I was soaked with sweat, so bugs were sticking to my legs and the rain was picking up again. It didn't look like too many people were sticking around for the limited pasta, so instead, I headed out to Sonic for the first time, to celebrate with a strawberry limeade, which tasted remarkably like key lime pie in a cup - delicious! And now it's back to more week-day runs, starting with Friday!

**Update: Official results from last week put me at 101, with an official final time of 33:04.

Run, Lindsay, Run and Good Causes

2009-07-19T20:48:00.006-04:00

Though I have been remiss in blogging lately, I actually haven't been remiss in running...well, mostly. But since I'm working on dedicating any time away from the office to becoming a professional beach bum, I haven't been as vigilant about keeping up on blogging about my athletic pursuits.

Last Sunday, I was too unmotivated to run, so I made the decision to delay it until Monday. Although the weather was beautiful this weekend, there have been a couple of odd humid days (which you know I love), so on Monday, I decided to follow some of Cool Running's advice for beating the heat and planned to break up a thirty minute run into three ten-minute runs. I'd had a nagging pain in my right knee for a couple of days, so I'd also picked up a knee brace to run with. My first ten-minute run went pretty well. It was definitely hot, but I made it just over a mile in the ten minutes, so I felt pretty good. My knee was sore afterwards, but I pushed on for the second ten-minute run around lunchtime, slowing my pace to account for the increase in temperature and running in the direct sun. After that, I was really feeling some soreness in my knee, so I decided to nix the third run for the day.

The following day was week three (week two for me) of the Ocean Running Club's Summer Series 5k. The weather was beautiful, but despite this, I had little to no interest in driving thirty minutes north to run 3.1 miles. My leg hurt and I was in a bad mood, and I just felt like sitting on the couch and watching tv. But of course, Coach J got wind of my malaise and threated to come down here to kick my butt, so off I went. I tried to psych myself up for it, first watching the kids one-miler (which, by the way, is not billed as a kids race on their website. And I think that's why there was one adult running in it. He came in slower than my one-mile time would have been, so I felt pretty good about that). The first five kids to finish were all girls, which meant a lot of cheering from the crowd. But as I looked around, I realized that again, most of the group was serious runners. I had high hopes for myself in my age group, since when I registered I was only the second one on the list, but I was still feeling my amateur status. We finally lined up after the 5k racewalkers had taken off - and let me tell you, they may look funny, but they are FAST - and again, they told those of us who "weren't competitive" to head to the back. I like starting in the back anyway, because I'd rather pass people than be passed. But it's a little disconcerting to run with the group that has strollers and dogs with them, and they're keeping pace. Also, when you only pass one racewalker the whole time. That's just sad.

Anyway, the race got underway, and I pushed it. I knew what my time had been the week before, and I wanted to improve on that. After all, my first two 5k's were much faster than last week's, though I am trying to take into account the fact that they were both in early May, when it was cool and overcast, versus high 70's/low 80's in the middle of July. The first mile was tough again, but knowing the course helped a little. I tried to start out slower than I had last week, and managed to get to the first mile at about 10:12. I knew I'd really slowed down after that in week 1, so I tried to keep my pace, and came in to mile 2 at 21:14. Not fast, but better than the previous week. At this point, I felt like I was running through a rain forest. Even though it was less humid and cooler than the previous week, it still felt tropical for a run to me. I kept telling myself that the end of the trees and the finish was just around the corner, and finally it was. Despite being one of the last few to come in (still no idea of overall placement, because they don't post full results), I managed to come in at 33:03 and 101st overall. Unfortunately for me, two other girls had signed up in my age group and both had come in much faster than me, so I was fourth out of four. I have a long way to go if I ever want to be fast.

Afterwards, I was dripping with sweat and hurting. My knee pain had morphed into knee pain, plus some sharp and dull calf pain, so I was super excited to drive thirty minutes using that leg. But I knew a lovely ice pack and some ice cream awaited me at home, so that was good motivation. I was glad that I'd be taking a couple of days off, and figured rest, Aleve, ice, and sports cream would make the difference. Unfortunately, though my knee seemed to loosen up, my calf seemed to get worse every day. By Friday, I had a dull ache constantly, with sharper pain whenever I was walking, especially on stairs. Very strange. I decided to nix Friday's run in exchange for more rest, but yesterday, I knew I needed to get another run in before Tuesday's final ORC Summer Series 5k if for no other reason than to be able to tell myself mentally that I could do it. I thought stretching would be in order, and I've been trying to motivate myself to return to yoga, so I did thirty minutes of yoga last night, took some Aleve, put on some sports cream and headed to bed.

When I got up this morning, my calf was worse than yesterday. I still knew giving a run a shot would be the only way to know if this was a sidelining injury or something I could work through. I wanted to do a 35-minute run, and although I normally like to hit a certain distance with that, I decided that the more important thing was just running. My leg actually felt worse when I put on my sneakers, which I thought didn't bode well, but I headed out anyway and started running.

Strangely enough, though both my knees hurt (which they always have), as soon as I started running, I couldn't feel the calf pain anymore. There was one point in the run where that whole section of my leg went numb, but otherwise, it didn't really hurt. Because of my love of sleep, I was running later in the morning than you really should in the summer (though I wasn't the only one out there), so it was pretty hot. But I trudged along, doing my best and not running much slower than my normal pace (which, let's be honest, is pretty darn slow already). I turned around at 17 minutes, and around 20 needed a walking break. Cool Running's website says walking breaks can be important for new runners, and I still consider myself a fairly new runner, having been at this for only 5 months. After three minutes of walking, I picked up the pace again, and took another two-minute walking break with five minutes to go. I finished the last three minutes pretty strongly, and was surprised at how good my calf felt. Even stranger, it's been fine the whole rest of the day. I can feel a twinge of residual pain now and then, but it seems that the run actually helped! I also followed it up with another round of yoga, and plan to do some more tonight, so we'll see how it holds up over the next couple of days and during the last 5k. And although I think it's been good for me to do something structured like the ORC Summer Series, I'll be glad to get back to more of my preferred MWF routine the following week so I can sleep in without guilt on the weekends!

In other running news, I'd like to direct everyone to a blog from another Hamilton graduate - Tim Marman's sister is running in the NYC half-marathon to raise money for the American Cancer Society. Tim was diagnosed with cancer just before Christmas of 2008, and has been chronicling his battle on his blog, Beat My Cancer. He was recently able to announce that he's currently cancer free, which is awesome, but since there are so many people still battling this terrible disease every day, I think it's important to continue to support the cause. So check out Ally's page here, and please donate. I know it's tough in this economy, but even $5 can help. She's about $500 shy of her goal, and I think it would be awesome for her to blow by that!

Also, another Hamilton graduate, Carlin Mallman, will be running in the Chicago marathon this year to raise money for Team McGraw, on behalf of her mom, who's been battling a brain tumor. She kicked butt in her fundraising and I know training for a marathon is TOUGH, so if you wanted to donate to her cause, I encourage that as well! I think it's pretty awesome when running and good causes come together!

This week, I've got the ORC 5k on tap for Tuesday, and then I'll do a Friday run again. But right now, I have to nurse today's sunburn and do some yoga!

** As an addendum, I just noticed that ORC DOES in fact post the full race results. For my first 5k, I finished in 33:22. Last week's results are yet to be posted.

Run for the Fallen

2009-07-10T13:30:00.003-04:00

Despite the best intentions, I gave myself two days off after running on Tuesday. Even with that break though, today's run was still tough for some reason. I think I'm still getting back into the swing of things and have to give myself a break. I figured I'd run 30 minutes today - an easy run, and shorter than the 34 minutes I ran on Tuesday, without being too light. I have to keep in mind that I'm running 5k's for the next two Tuesday's after all!

Ah, but my best laid plans...

I started out feeling pretty good. Even though it's the middle of the day (I should have run first thing this morning, but I just like sleep too darn much!), it's still beautiful out. Low seventies, cool breeze, no humidity - PERFECT weather. At this point, I know you're asking why I'm sitting at the computer writing this blog instead of enjoying the weather outside, and that's an excellent question. But I digress. Once the first couple of minutes went by, I felt the fatigue set in, and the weird ache I've been getting in and around my right knee since yesterday started up. I reminded myself how much I hate the first mile, and thought about how good the second mile had felt on Tuesday. So I hung in there. Unfortunately, the second mile was just as tough as the first, so after twenty minutes, I gave myself permission to walk. Because I'm not training for anything really hard or long, I feel like I can mentally give myself a break sometimes because the point here is to really love running, not to make myself do it until I can't stand it anymore. So I gave myself five minutes to walk, and then ran the last five minutes, pushing myself to go a bit faster. Although I didn't run for 30-minutes, I still got a 25 minute run in there, and my muscles are definitely feeling the burn. And hey, the important thing is that I got three decent runs in this week, and it's been a WHILE since I could say that!

As I mentioned, I'm not training for any big races, but yesterday, I got some news that will motivate my running for the next month. Run for the Fallen was started in 2008 by 1st Lt. Michael J. Cleary's best friends and classmates from Hamilton College (my alma mater). Michael was killed in Iraq on December 19, 2005, only a few shorts weeks before he was to return home and marry his high school sweetheart. Although I didn't know Michael (he was a year behind me), I certainly saw him around campus - Hamilton is a small school where everyone knows everyone, and everyone's business. The team that created Run for the Fallen wanted to honor Michael and the other military men and women who have lost their lives fighting in Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. Beginning Flag Day, June 14, 2008, a dedicated team of runners ran across America from Fort Irwin, CA to Arlington National Cemetery, one mile for every Soldier, Sailor, Airmen, and Marine killed in Operation Iraqi Freedom. For ten weeks, team members marked each mile with an American flag and signcard in an apolitical reflection of remembrance of each service member.On August 24, 2008 runners from around the world joined Run for the Fallen in remembering our fallen. Over 9,000 participants ran over 35,000 miles in remembrance of those fallen in OIF and OEF. Just incredible.

I remember learning about Run for the Fallen last year, and I really wanted to do it. But I wasn't a runner, and I thought my inability to run even a mile wouldn't do justice to the sacrifice that these men and women, and their families, have made. But this year, I am a runner! I thought about Run for the Fallen yesterday, and googled it to see if they were doing it again this year. It turns out that a team of 24 dedicated runners will run from Cape May, NJ, to Holmdel, NJ, and they will be running right up Route 9 through Barnegat, a five minute walk from my house. They didn't say anything about signing up other runners, but I thought maybe they'd let me run some of it with them. So I emailed the guy in charge, who said they'd love to have me and now I'm just waiting to hear back about when they think they'll be hitting Barnegat - it's a two-day run. I'm so very honored to be able to remember our fallen heroes this way. I don't think the miles I run will ever be more meaningful than the ones I'll run to remember those we've lost. In particular, I'll be running for my cousin's West Point classmates and friends, Lt. Todd Bryant and Cpt. Tim Moshier, as well as Michael Cleary.

Although no contribution is required to run and remember the fallen, I'd like to raise as much money as I can for this important cause. Run for the Fallen NJ is to raise awareness for the fallen soldiers of New Jersey and their families. All proceeds above the event expenses will be donated to the Gold Star Mothers' Monument being built in Washington DC. A Gold Star Mother is a mom that has lost a son or daughter while in defense of our country. If you'd like to make a donation, I've set up a page to do that. As you may know, our military means a lot to me, since I've had a number of friends and family serve, so any donation you make really means so much to me personally.

So now my running takes on some new meaning - nothing spurs you on to push a little harder than thinking of the soldier or the marine who faces danger every day, just so I can run down the street freely.

Ocean Running Club's Summer Series

2009-07-07T20:39:00.004-04:00

So tonight was the big test for my running comeback - the Ocean Running Club's Summer Series. The series started last Tuesday, but I had a migraine and there were thunderstorms, so I nixed the first week (although that means I'm not eligible for a tee shirt - darn!). But today, I was determined to get there. I knew thunderstorms were again on the agenda for today, so I figured I'd play it by ear and make a game-time decision about whether I'd run the one-mile or the 5k based on how humid it was. I knew the one-mile would be a piece of cake (-ish anyway) and that the 5k would be the real test of how much my running has suffered lately.

When I got there, it was decently humid, but pretty nice with a good breeze, so I decided to run the 5k. It turned out to be a good thing that I skipped the one-mile race anyway, since that seemed to attract more kids, and it would be tough on the ego to be beaten by the kiddos, even though I know they're much, much faster. The 5k attracts the more serious runners, which is always a bit disheartening to me, but I put my game face on and headed for the back of the pack. As one guy put it, "Rabbits in the front, turtles in the back."

The race started out pretty decently. We were running in a park in Toms River, NJ, and it was quite nice in there. The course was not as flat as promised - it was pretty flat, but when you train on a road with literally NO incline, you notice every tiny hill and bump. The first mile felt like it took forever, but I managed to make it in about 10:40 (though it turned out my stopwatch was off by a few seconds). I reminded myself that I usually struggle the first mile, and started to relax into the run a bit. I also tried to slow down a bit, because the humidity was starting to take a toll on me a little. The second mile was better, though a bit more up and down, and I got to the second mile marker at about 22:36. Then, it was time to nail the finish. I had been pacing myself behind these two women for most of the race, and managed to pass them right around the halfway point at the water stop. There was another girl, right around my age, still keeping pace with me, but I pushed myself a bit and managed to lose her behind me. I passed a couple of other people, but most of them had a reason to be slowing down - one guy had a baby carriage, and his baby was crying, so he'd picked him up and was walking, another guy had a dog who needed to stop for a minute...you get the picture. But hey, I didn't come in last!

I finished right under 34 minutes, which is 3 minutes slower than my fastest time, and about a minute 15 slower than my first 5k, but I'm pretty happy with it. Being my first 3 mile run in 2 1/2 weeks, I was expecting it to be a tough one, and the heat and humidity (although relatively mild), still played a factor. I was definitely dripping with sweat by the end! I came in 127th place and beat three other girls in my age group, so I'm happy with that. The series goes on for the next two Tuesdays, so I'll be curious to see how I can reduce my time (if I can) and how I feel at the end of it! They're having a pasta party afterwards, and judging by how hungry I am tonight, I'll be ready for it!

Back in the Saddle Again

2009-07-05T23:06:00.003-04:00

Despite hosting a 4th of July party that lasted until 1am (ending with a viewing of Quantum of Solace - love that Daniel Craig!) and kept me up until 2:30 putting my house back in order, I was determined to get up and run this morning. If I was one of those people who could survive on five hours of sleep, I would have thrown on my shorts, tee shirt, and sneakers at 8am when the puppy got me up because it was GORGEOUS outside - cool, sunny, not humid and with a lovely breeze. But alas, I love sleep way too much and instead slept a bit longer before finally getting up and easing into the day. Which meant that I started my run just before noon, the hottest part of the day. Awesome.

Fortunately, it was still beautiful out, and though it was really warm, it wasn't that humid and the breeze was still nice. I could have easily put the run off in favor of heading right to the beach, but I'm determined to get back in the habit of running. I decided I'd run 20 minutes today, and I did stick to the plan. The distance felt manageable, but I was still tired at the end, which tells me that so much time off lately has definitely affected my endurance (no surprise there!). But again, the important thing today was that I got out there and ran. Also, my body felt pretty good, and I'm taking into account the weather for the next two months as a big factor in my running, so I think it was a successful run today.

Next run will be a 5k on Tuesday night, with the Ocean Running Club. I'm a bit apprehensive, both about the weather and my ability at this point to run a full 3.1 miles, but I'll give it my best shot! With that run on Tuesday, I'll do a Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday schedule this week and see how it goes!

A big decision to make...

2009-07-03T22:29:00.004-04:00

Wow, it has been a WHILE since I wrote a running blog. And that's mostly because it's been a WHILE since I've gone running! I will say that after my 10k, I did do a 6 mile run the following Sunday, which just about did me in. I was so miserable and thirsty the whole run, and ended up walking about 8 minutes of a 70 minute run. Ugh.

When I got home from that run, I didn't feel very accomplished. When I first started running, and right up through my 5k's, whenever I ran, I would come home feeling like I'd really accomplished something. Even on days that I didn't really feel like running or when I had a tough run, I was always glad after I'd pushed myself to run. It was very...satisfying. But as you know, after my 5k's, I just couldn't seem to get back into the groove of running. I would take a few days off, more than 2 in a row sometimes, and each time I ran, it was a tough run. It didn't matter what the circumstances were, I struggled. And it was a much tougher battle with myself to get out to run in the first place, and to hit my goals each run. There were a couple of bright spots in there with good runs, but mostly, the longer distances I was running, the more miserable I was becoming.

Finally, the 10k was upon me, and you all know how that went. I realized last week that after my two 5k's, even though I was so tired and sore, I felt so invigorated and exicited. I felt like I'd really done something, accomplished something. But after my 10k, I was just glad to have it over. I'd wanted to skip out on doing it the whole four weeks leading up to it, but because I'd signed up already, I pushed myself to do it. And I didn't feel accomplished; I just felt relieved. And very, very tired.

Because I was so unhappy, I started to give my running some serious consideration over the last couple of weeks. I was on vacation, so I had a lot of time to really think about it. I talked to a few people, and I realized that I was really starting to hate running again. I dreaded pushing my mileage up instead of having that feeling of "cool, I can now run x miles." I even dreaded the "shorter" runs, which to me, still felt so long and exhausting. I started to think that I couldn't carve out that kind of time in my schedule or deal with the humidity, all just excuses to put off running. In short, I was done.

So I had to make a decision - continue to train for the LBI 18-mile race or content myself with being a 5k-ish runner? I knew that physically, I could probably get myself in shape to do 18 miles in October, but that mentally, it might destroy me to do it, and I'd probably never run again after that. But I also had the internal battle of having put the LBI race and running a marathon on my life goals list. Also, I had told a lot of people of my plan to run the 18 mile race - would I be letting them down? It finally came down to a question of what would make me happy. And the answer was to put off the LBI race for at least a year, and instead focus on really learning to love running and to make it a part of my life permanently.

Let me tell you, what a relief it was to come to that decision!

I talked to a few people and they all agreed with me, which made me feel a lot better. A friend reminded me that just because I won't be running the LBI race this year, doesn't mean I can't do it in the future. Even my coach said "Good for you." So that settled it, and now I'm starting to feel excited about getting back to running again. I've decided to go back to the three-day a week schedule (because 4 days was just too much to wrap my brain around), to run 2-4 miles at a time, and get myself to the Ocean Running Club's Summer Series - of which I missed week 1 last week thanks to a migraine.

So the next hurdle was actually starting to run again. I've been away from running for almost two weeks, and in between my 10k and the 6 mile Sunday run, I'd only run for about 10 minutes maybe. I've run about 14 miles in the last 3 weeks, most of that in two runs. I knew I just had to get out there once, see where my body was, and not beat myself up too much about what I've lost. After all, now that I'm not training for a long distance race (though I plan to keep up with 5k's), I don't have to panic if I'm not in top form!

With it being so humid lately, I figured I'd start out with an easy 1-mile run today, follow that up with 2 miles on Sunday, and then head to the ORC summer series 5k on Tuesday night. I really wanted to run about a mile and a half today, but it was pretty humid (since I didn't make myself get up early on my day off or anything!), so I didn't push myself too hard. The important thing was to get back out there. I ran about 0.9 miles in 10 minutes (about an 11:06 pace) and I think it's a good start. I think if I can get myself to keep a consistent schedule, even in these hot, humid summer months, my running will really start to blossom in the fall.

So I plan to be back to my regularly scheduled blogging, and I hope that the shorter runs will do their job of keeping me healthy and lowering my stress, as well as reminding me of how I fell in love with running a couple of months ago. Tomorrow, I'll be celebrating the Fourth of July with friends and family, and especially thinking about our troops, and the sacrifices they've made and are making to give us the freedom we celebrate tomorrow. Have a safe and happy Fourth of July, and if you see a service member, remember to thank them!

I know, I know I've been delinquent...

2009-06-14T22:21:00.004-04:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted, and some of that is because I took a little time off, and some of it is just because I've been swamped at work. My best laid plans to run in San Francisco went right out the window, because my dad did decide to stay behind to be with my mom with everything going on with my grandma, so I was on my own to handle the conference. With the extra workload, there was almost no time to run (let alone breathe), and then when I did finally have some time, I ended up with a migraine so bad that it wouldn't have been advisable. Plus, one of our very sweet lawyers insisted that I get a massage at the hotel instead (and when I say insisted, I mean, he actually took me by the elbow and escorted me to the concierge, where he said "this woman has been working too hard! She needs a massage!" So no running for me, despite my belief that it probably would have helped my stress level and it would have been a cool way to see San Francisco. And I'd even traveled with all my running stuff, and hunted down the hotel's map of where to run. But alas, it wasn't meant to be. I'll just have to go back!

As for an update on my grandma, she's hanging in there, but she's been through a tough time. When she was admitted to the hospital, they realized she'd had a series of strokes, and after running some tests, also found out that she has colon cancer. They were able to surgically remove the tumor, at which point they realized she also had gall stones and decided to remove her gall bladder as well. She's still in the hospital and recovery is slow, but not bad for a woman about to be 86 on Thursday! But it's still a lot of work and worry for my mom, who's been at the hospital almost all day every day since she's been there, and it's been a lot of worry for the rest of the family as well, especially since she's certainly not out of the woods yet and will now require full time care of some type.

So with all of this going on, I flew home from San Francisco last Sunday and was totally wiped out and jet-lagged. It always seems silly that the three-hour time difference hits me harder than six or 12 hours, but for some reason, it's just enough time that I'm not tired enough to fall asleep earlier at night but I'm still wiped out in the mornings. Plus, I was planning to take the next two weeks off for vacation, so I was working late this past week to cram in as much work as possible before I took time off. Eventually, we decided it would be better for me to work Monday and Tuesday before taking two weeks off, because I just have too much post-conference things to finish up. Oh, and in the meantime, I was also supposed to be training for a race. Today's race. A 10k. Yikes.

Coach J had told me to get back to running on Wednesday, after I talked to him on Tuesday afternoon. He suggested I start with 35 minutes on Wednesday, 45 minutes on Friday and just think of today's race as my long run with water stops. I kept telling myself it would be only about five minutes longer than my longest run ever, so it probably wouldn't be a big deal. On Wednesday, I ran the 35 minutes about mid-day, and it was great running weather, so it was a good run. After nine days off, my body felt great and rested, and although I was really worried about where I'd be, I was running okay. My legs were a bit tight on Thursday and when I ran Friday, but I ran 4 miles in 44:10, which I was happy with, especially since it was nice and humid. I was so preoccupied with work and family this week, and with my niece's christening this afternoon, I almost forgot that I had the 10k. When my brother-in-law asked me yesterday if I was ready, I thought he meant for the christening, and it took me a minute to remember my race! Good thing I remembered my sneakers...

I tried to forget the jitters last night, although I thought about Coach J telling me that when he's nervous, he knows he's ready to race. I managed to get a good night's sleep, and woke up around six, before my alarm. I was ready to get this over with. I'd had a sudden worry that there would be a lot of hills (and if you know where I train, you know it's totally flat), but there wasn't a lot I could do about it. I suited up, packed my bag with water, Advil, and some post-race snacks and headed out. When I arrived at the race, there weren't a lot of people checking in yet, but the ones who were were all SERIOUS runners.

Seriously.

You know the type - long lean muscular legs, spandex everywhere, all the right footwear, eyewear, headwear, the works. I knew I was in for it. I reminded myself that my goal for the day was just to finish. I really wanted to finish under 70 minutes, but I mainly just wanted to finish. I tried to remember that I wasn't really competing against anyone, that this was just my run today, and that helped. After I registered, put on my race bib, and this chip for my shoe (I had to ask about that, feeling like a total idiot for never having seen one before), I was ready. But there was still about forty minutes left. So I put my tee shirt and bag in the car, and realized that the same chiropractors (including a very cute one) from the Hot Pursuit 5k were there. I headed over to them to get stretched, and they're into the kinesiology tape (a la Misty May Treynor in the summer Olympics). I wasn't sold on it after it didn't seem to make a huge difference in my hip during the last race, but I gave it a shot on my knees this time, and I have to say that until it peeled off in the rain, my knees actually didn't hurt for the first time since I started running. So now I'm officially a convert.

Finally it was time to line up. The emcee of the event said, "We're here in Woodcliff Lake. That's right, we have woods. We have a lake. And yes, we have hills."

Crap.

But I was there, and determined to do my best. I could tell that as the runners gathered, I was going to be late in the pack - I picked out the people I thought I could beat (and I don't think I beat a one of them), but mostly, everyone was not kidding around. Even the emcee said "this race separates the runners from the wannabe runners." Well, I thought, I'm a runner, so I told myself to stop feeling like I didn't belong and just settle into my race. Finally, they sounded the horn and we were off!

I knew I'd probably start off a little fast, so I tried to concentrate on running slower. I felt really tired after only half a mile, which I thought didn't bode well for the rest of the race. Plus, we hadn't actually gone up any hills yet. I reminded myself that I always hated the first mile, and kept going. Before I knew it, I was at the mile marker, and I'd run it in 10:37! Not bad, but a little faster than I was planning on (though I hate running the 11-minute miles, it's been where I'm at lately, and I was trying not to push it so soon after a long hiatus). Right after the first mile marker, there was a BIG hill. Sweet.

I told myself it was no bigger than the one I ran in Island Heights, so I focused on pushing myself. I mean how many hills could there be right? HA. I lost count there were so many! But mile two, I had the first big hill, and then a lot of it was downhill, so all of the energy I'd really expended pushing myself early on came back, because I almost got a break on the downhill. Not that downhill is a piece of cake, because it's tough on your quads, but it was certainly easier! I managed to make it through mile 2 at 21:49, so 11:11 on the second mile. The third mile was about more hills and a little bit more downhill (though mostly up). I hit the end of that at 32:50, 11:01, so I was really speeding along. I felt okay and was happy that I was almost halfway through at that point. The weather today really helped too - the day started out really chilly, overcast and not too humid, and when the race started, so did the rain, so that helped too. Not great to stand around in before and after the race, but great during!

Mile four was more up and down, but manageable, and I got to 44:39, 11:49 for that mile. Not great, but considering that was the furthest I'd run in two weeks, not bad.

The fifth mile was all about "you've got to be kidding me!" After we'd run along some good flat ground by the reservoir, we turned around and faced this huge hill. I knew it was coming, since I'm familiar with this road, and it was the hill that I was dreading being a part of the course. The woman next to me wasn't sure she'd make it, but I told her it was easier to run it than walk it. Believing my own BS, I made it to the top of the hill happily, and thought they were sending us straight on downhill. But no. Instead, they sent us to the right, right into another hill. I couldn't believe it. I made it up that hill too without walking, but when we hit only a bit of a flat, and then another impossibly high hill, I had to walk for two minutes just to be able to keep going. I'd had a mental argument with myself about it, because there was a woman near me almost the whole race who would walk a lot and then run a little, but her legs were so darn long that she seemed to keep up with me the whole time - and ended up beating me! I really didn't want to walk any of it, but my legs just made the decision for me and slowed down. Plus, a lot of people in front of me had started walking much earlier, so I consoled myself with the fact I'd put it off as long as possible!

I made it to the end of mile five at 56:48, 12:09 after the previous mile marker. I just kept thinking about the finish line, and I had a lot of time to think to myself, since I was almost all alone on the course at this point. I'd see another runner periodically, but mostly, it was all about me, which helped me run the race I was capable of running today. I'd also see water stations every once in a while, and people directing the race, and they were great about cheering us all on (even us slow runners). For a while, I was actually convinced I was last, that anyone I'd passed had just given up and DNF'd, but fortunately that turned out not to be true. I know someone has to be last, I'm just glad it wasn't me - although, when I post my results, you'll see it almost was.

So the last mile was upon me, and I was feeling pretty good, mostly because I knew it was almost over! I did have to take another two minute walking break on yet another hill, but I finally saw the six-mile marker and headed into the parking lot of the school for the last 0.20 miles. Although in my last two races, I've been able to speed up for the end, that simply was NOT happening today. I'd given everything I had out on the course with all those ridiculous hills, and just didn't have anything left. I came in at 1:09:41 (69:41), and although it was *just* under 70 minutes, I was happy with it. I came in 157 out of 172, but I did beat one girl in my age group - I was 6/7. And I was really happy about that, because she was one of the people I saw at the start who I didn't think I would beat. It looks like the fastest group was mostly in their thirties, forties and fifties, which you don't see a lot and clearly, I would need to train a lot more/harder if I want to get anywhere near that group, who kept a 6:00 pace. My official pace was 11:13 (not bad!) and I came in 64/75 women. Not the most satisfying run I've ever had, but I'm definitely happy with it considering all the factors going into it!

So after a lovely christening and party for my niece, where I wore high heels, and two walks with the puppies today, my legs are rebelling and exhaustion is threatening to overtake me. I did go back to the chiropractors to get my legs stretched out after the race, which made me decide that I should have someone around to stretch me out every time I run - that would be great! I do plan to take the next two days off from running, learning from the revolt my body put up after my two 5k weekend when I only took one recovery day, and then hopefully I should be back to my regularly scheduled blogging/running. At least until I head to Athens in late September. Yes, right before the LBI run - perfect timing :)

Running on Empty

2009-06-01T13:16:00.003-04:00

I finally understand why my coach always says he works out to the point of exhaustion when he's stressed over things he can't control. On Saturday morning, my grandma had what turns out to be one in a series of mini-strokes. Fortunately, she happened to be with my parents, because otherwise, I don't think she would have been honest about what was happening. They were all at the beach, and my parents talked her into returning home and at least agreeing to go to the doctor this morning, because she didn't want to go to the hospital. The doctor wasn't able to see her and she did end up in the hospital, but at least they're able to care for her now and make some decisions about her future health and care. Other than her speech, the stroke doesn't seem to be affecting her too much outwardly, which I'm hoping is a good thing. But it's been one of those "wait and see" situations all weekend, which has left me feeling totally helpless and very worried.

So with this and the fact I have to fly to San Francisco tomorrow morning for my company's annual meeting (either with or without my boss, who is also my dad, and might be staying home to help out my mom) weighing on my mind, I was itchy to get out and run yesterday. Since there's little I can be doing for my grandma, I've been trying to keep busy with whatever I can to keep my mind off of things. Running is great for that, because although it's a very solitary sport, which allows your mind to wander, you can also push yourself hard enough that you physically exhaust yourself and you're concentrating more on your body than anything else. Yesterday was mostly perfect running weather, because it was cool and cloudy, but it was deceptive, because it was also very humid. I set out for a 35-minute run, my short run for the week because I was doing two days back to back.

The first mile started out okay, but I could tell my body was feeling very heavy. That always seems to happen when I run back to back days, so it didn't worry me. It just made me feel extra tired. I pushed myself to go as fast as I could, though the humidity kept me at a slower pace than I would have liked. I just kept running though, and was grateful for the lack of sun. I made it to just over a mile and a half and turned around, and finally found my pace. Even though my body was struggling with the humidity, I was able to get up to a good speed (for me at least), and I was definitely tiring myself out.

As I neared my starting point, I realized that I was going to have extra time, since I'd turned around thirty seconds early to account for my usually slower second half. So I ended up running further than my starting point to finish at 35 minutes, and finished at 3.25 miles, which is a 10:46 pace - not bad!

I could definitely feel the run in my legs all day yesterday, especially whenever I was climbing up or down the stairs. My muscles are sore today, so I'm glad for the recovery day. I'm still not sure what I'm running this week, as I'm waiting to hear back from Coach J, who is busy with work and workouts that take up all of his free-time, but because of my trip, it looks like I'll only be able to run Tuesday/Wednesday/Saturday. I'm sure I'll need the runs as a stress-reliever and in the meantime, please say a prayer for my grandma!

Heat and humidity haunt me again

2009-05-30T16:23:00.003-04:00

After Thursday's run, I was sore, sore, sore. Every part of my legs hurt, from my hips, to my knees, to my calves and my quads. The only thing that didn't hurt was my feet!

So I was very glad that yesterday was a recovery day and my intention today was to run as soon as I woke up. Since I've been having so much trouble sleeping, that ended up being slightly later than I would have liked considering that the temperature for today was to climb to 78 degrees. I first got up at nine, when it was 66 degrees and cool enough when I let the dog out that I thought I would be okay to go back to sleep a little longer and then head out. But when I finally left the house, it was 72 degrees, and definitely humid. I knew I was in for a tough run.

Remembering that heat and humidity always seems to really affect me, I started out slow, aiming for an 11-minute or so pace. Within a few minutes, I was already overheating - there was almost no breeze, and with no shade, I was running in the direct sun. I kept telling myself it was only four miles and I could make it. I was focusing on the thought "This is hard, but it makes me stronger" and that actually kept me going.

As I got closer to the water, there was a slight breeze, which I was so grateful for. The clouds overhead were floating around, but only seem to shade the road just ahead of where I was, never right over me. Eventually, I did get to run through some shade patches, so I would take off my hat to let the breeze cool me off a little. It was too hot to try that in the direct sun, which just seemed to zero in on my dark hair.

I made it to the two-mile marker right at my halfway point time-wise, which I was happy about. But the second half of the run didn't give me a lot to smile about. I was so hot, so thirsty, and so tired, I was sure I was going to have to stop to walk. But I am also really stubborn, and I just wanted to run the full 45 minutes today and not take any walking breaks.

When I hit 16 minutes left, I started to become a clock-watcher again (even though I know roughly distance-wise how much run I had left). I kept thinking that if I could make it to ten minutes, I'd be able to finish without taking a walking break. I was really struggling though, so I tried to focus on my music, think about the big glass of water I was going to have when I got home, anything except how much running was left.

With five minutes to go, I thought, this is it, I can make it. I decided at that point that I would stop after 45 minutes, whether I'd made it back to my starting point or not. Then, there was four minutes left, and it felt like so much time. I told myself I just needed to get to three minutes. When I hit that, I told myself I just needed to get to two minutes, and so on. Finally, with sixty seconds left to go, I told myself to think of the first week I started running, when I only had to run sixty seconds at a time. I tried to tell myself that a minute was all I had to do and I just about made it. I don't know when I've ever been so happy to stop and walk!

My body felt okay during the run, but I think I was so focused on how overheated I was that I wasn't thinking about anything else. As soon as I stopped to walk, I could feel my joints aching again and my muscles tensing up - the muscle soreness I never mind, because it reminds me all day long that I pushed myself, but the joint soreness I could do without.

I'm considering this a tough, but successful run - I ran 3.86 miles in 45 minutes, which is an 11:34/mile pace. Slow, but I did run the whole time without stopping, so I've got to consider that a good thing! Tomorrow, I've got a 35 minute run, and I'm hoping it will be cooler and less humid. At any rate, I've already gotten in two good runs this week (well, an okay run, and a great run, so they even out) and I think tomorrow's will be a good one too. We'll see how it goes!

THAT'S IT! Running is HARD.

2009-05-28T19:14:00.011-04:00

Okay, so remember the days when I couldn't run five straight minutes? When I thought 20 minutes would find me lying in a ditch on the side of the road, gasping for breath? Somedays, I still forget that I don't still think I have those limitations. But today, I FINALLY broke my five mile barrier and ran 5.6 miles in 60 minutes and 15 seconds. That's right, I ran for more than 60 straight minutes, 16 weeks after I started running. Holy cow.

I have to admit that the weather made a huge difference - it was great running weather: overcast, misty rain, chilly air and a bit of a breeze. Exactly what I needed. Now, if you're keeping track, you'll noticed that I'm missing a running day this week: Tuesday. Tuesday was also perfect running weather, minus the misty rain. But unfortunately, I was sidelined with a nasty migraine, the worst I've had in a while. It was bad enough that despite three Excedrin when I woke up, I still called in late to work for the first time ever - when you work from home, it's hard to call in sick, unless you are really, really sick and can't even work from your bed with a laptop (which I have done, by the way). The headache did go away, but the other symptoms stuck around for a full day, and I felt weak and yucky right through Wednesday. Ah migraines.

At any rate, I didn't get to run on Tuesday and boy, did I need to run today. As you know, I've been struggling with finding the motivation for longer runs, debating whether I'm a recreational or a distance runner. I just couldn't shake a vague feeling of struggle every time I thought about running or went running. But I feel like I'm starting to get past that hurdle. Yesterday, I read a blog post by Liz Waterstraat about running hill repeats (something, by the way, I hope to never do). She talked about seeing Bob Scott, an 80-year-old Ironman, while she was running (that's right, 8-0. He's the current Ironman World Champion for his age group - if I'm still running when I'm 80, please come and find me). When Liz talked to him at the top of the hill/mountain, after her sixth hill run, she told him "This is so hard." His reply - "OF COURSE IT’S HARD! But it makes you strong, Elizabeth."

"THAT'S IT!" I thought! (Picture Charlie Brown yelling this at Lucy in A Charlie Brown Christmas and you'll understand my eureka moment).

This IS hard.

I think that's all I wanted to hear - someone admitting that it's hard for them too (especially a pro-triathlete like Liz). Running is hard work, especially when you get into the higher mileage, and I'm not even running that far yet. You battle with your body, with the weather, with your mind, with your schedule, with your diet, all of that. Just to run a little bit further each time. To have a bad day, followed by another bad day, sometimes followed by a good day. It's HARD. But it's making me stronger. The muscles in my legs are feeling SO strong lately - I can feel them with almost every movement I make. That feeling, I love.

So there's my motivation. This is hard. But it makes me strong.

With that in mind, I prepared myself for today's 60-minute run. I would like to say I jumped right out of bed and ran first thing, but that wouldn't be true. The last two nights, it's taken me until after 3am to fall asleep, so I try to sleep as late as I can so I can be a functioning, productive member of society. Those of you who know me know that it's not pretty when I'm tired. Last night especially, I was feeling jittery, with my legs on edge. That was another sign I needed to run today, to push my body past fatigue so that tonight, I can sleep.

So I headed out on my lunch break with the goal of 60-minutes and the desire to again, break an 11-minute pace. The first two miles were great. My body felt good (of course it did after three days off!), I was keeping a good pace, and the little bit of humidity wasn't holding me back. Around the start of the third mile, I got a twinge in my right knee, but nothing serious. Unfortunately, my knees ended up aching right through the rest of the run, though I didn't let it slow me down! Miles three through five were definitely the worst - I felt like each subsequent mile was twice as long as the last one. But I was feeling good about it mentally as I passed Sunday's halfway point of about 2.5 miles and I knew that if I could keep up my pace, I'd definitely make it past my 5 mile barrier.

I just kept doggedly at my pace and sped up as much as I could when I got to the last half mile or so. With only a few minutes left, I knew I was going to finish strong - finally, another great run in the books. My body felt great towards the end again (minus the knee issues), but as soon as I stopped running to walk, I could tell I'd really pushed myself today - my legs are feeling it! But managing 5.6 miles in 60:15 for a 10:45/mile pace makes me very, very happy.

This weekend, I'm running 45 minutes on Saturday and 35 on Sunday, so we'll see how those go. Next week, I'm off to San Francisco, with a jam packed schedule, so I'll be interested to see how/where I can fit in some runs!

How Will I Survive the Summer's Humidity??

2009-05-24T21:39:00.004-04:00

Although I was supposed to run yesterday, when my alarm went off, I was just too darn tired to force myself out of bed. Plus, it was Saturday! So I gave myself a break and slept in a little instead. I also knew it was crazy humid yesterday and was hoping that a thunderstorm yesterday or this morning would cool things off nicely.

Um, not so much.

There hasn't been a thunderstorm yet, so when I headed out this morning at 8 (admittedly, an hour later than I wanted to run), it was humid, humid, humid. Only 70 degrees, but with the sun shining on me the whole way, and the moisture in the air, I was not loving running today.

Today's goal was a 55-minute run, the longest ever. And boy, did it feel that way. I knew I had to run slowly if I was going to make it the entire way, since I've learned that my body doesn't react well to the humidity. I was hoping that giving myself 55 minutes would mean I'd FINALLY hit five miles. Getting to five seems to be impossible for me. It's like I've hit this wall, and I just can't get to five miles. I know I will eventually, but in the meantime, it's been very frustrating.

My body was feeling okay today, not too much soreness in the joints and only a little muscle fatigue, so from that perspective it was a good run. Although, it could just be that I ended up so overheated that I couldn't think of anything except stopping and getting some water. The first mile was okay. I really slowed myself down, to probably around an 11-minute pace and just concentrated on running the whole way. The second mile got a little tougher, but I just kept thinking about getting through that next stretch to get to two and a half before I turned around. I did the math before I left (because I can't run and divide time at the same time), and figured that my halfway point would be 27:30. I passed the marker that would be the halfway point to 4.65 miles that I ran earlier in the week, and thought I was in good shape. But by that time, I was so unbelievably hot and tired that my mind totally stopped working. I got it in my head that I had to turn around at 22:30 instead and made it to 25:45 before I realized that I should have turned around already. And I was already SO tired. But I told myself I'd just run the 55 minutes, instead of trying to run to where I started, because my body was starting to rebel against the heat and humidity.

As I headed back, I started to feel really overheated. I would take off my hat every few minutes and let the intermittent breeze chill my sweaty hair, but that would last only seconds before my dark hair was attracting the sun to my head like a beacon. I kept up my dogged pace and kept trying to focus on just running. I passed a lot of people who were out this morning (tourist season has officially begun here at the beach) - mostly bikers and walkers. Only one other runner - only one other person as crazy as me, battling the humidity to get in a run. I did see a group of women walking/running, and I wondered if they were doing the couch potato challenge because I only saw them run once, for about thirty seconds. I felt pretty good that I was running the entire time they were walking, running and then walking again!

With about sixteen minutes left to go, I had to take a walking break. I was feeling a little delirious because I was so hot, and I thought it was better to take a break than to pass out. The breeze felt so good once I'd slowed down, and my body wasn't stiffening up like it normally does if I stop to walk in the middle of a run, so that was a good thing. After two minutes, I started up again and kept trying to think about the end of the run, and the gallon of water I was going to drink when I got home. I really wanted to finish the run where I had started it, but I was just spent. Unfortunately, it meant that I had further to walk once I stopped running and it was only sheer force of will and the knowledge that I had water at home that got me to walk that last half mile. I mean, I seriously debated flagging down a car and either a) asking them if they had a bottle of water or b) asking them if they would drive me home. When I got home, I immediately took off my shoes and socks, my hat, and my RoadID, turned on the AC and drank a big glass of water. Unfortunately, my Brita seemed to have developed a small ice issue, which kept it from letting me have any more water. Of all days. But I had a little lemonade instead and some yogurt, sat on the couch for a few minutes to cool off, and finally felt more like myself again. It does make me wonder how I'll survive the humidity in July and August...

And for all that, I only managed to run 4.74 miles. Seriously?!? It was disappointing for sure, but I focused on the fact that I got out there and ran, that I managed to run 53/55 minutes on one of the hottest, most humid mornings I've run so far, and that it's still longer than I've ever run before. So I am making progress, it just feels like it's at a snail's pace! I was back up well over an 11 minute pace today, which is also frustrating, but I think I need to concentrate on the fact that I'm running at all, instead of how fast I'm going. There's plenty of time to speed up, right?

So as I promised, I checked in with Coach J, who said tomorrow should be an off day (Sweet!), Tuesday, 40 minutes, Wednesday off, Thursday 60 minutes (I'd better hit five miles that day!), Friday off, Saturday 45 minutes and Sunday 35 minutes. That sounds fairly reasonable to me, so I'm going to continue to take Jannah's advice of taking it one workout at a time and hope for the best!

Short Runs Can Still Be Hard!

2009-05-21T16:19:00.003-04:00

Today I finally learned what runners are talking about when they say their legs are "dead." Holy cow, was today's run tough!

When I went to bed last night, my body hurt. Just ached in my lower back, my hips, my knees. Getting into bed, I hoped that a good night's sleep would solve my soreness and I'd wake up fresh and ready to run.

Unfortunately, that was not exactly how it went. I managed to get myself into bed by 11, but wanted to read a couple of chapters of my book first. I was definitely tired, but it was a scary mystery that had me convinced I heard someone downstairs in the house. Yes, despite the fact I have a very loud alarm system. I thought maybe someone had hidden upstairs earlier in the day while the alarm was off - can you tell I have an active imagination? So after tossing and turning for a while, I finally got up and checked every nook and cranny. Nobody. So feeling much safer, I finally tried to fall back asleep and was successful.

At about 6:45 I was jolted awake for no good reason. I peeked out of my eye mask (which I'm wearing in lieu of room darkening shades), and saw how sunny it was, so then, I was up. But I was feeling very tired, and still pretty sore, so I started the mental debate.

Do I have to run today?

Well, maybe not. Maybe I could take the day off and run tomorrow. Ugh, but then I'd be running back to back with a long Saturday run. What if I took two days off? Hmm, that might be too long. Everyone's expecting me to run today. Okay, so I guess I have to run today.

Then: maybe I don't have to get up and run now!

Well, I probably do. It's supposed to be in the eighties today, and remember how it felt to run yesterday when it was so hot? Oh yeah, yucky. Besides, even though you're tired, you're already awake, so you might as well get up and run.

But I feel so blah.

How about a short run instead? (Yes, yes, I know this was supposed to be a "short" 40-minute run, but I mean shorter). What if I just did 2 miles instead? I can run 20 minutes, can't I? Sure, a 20-minute run might be fun.

Okay, so I finally got up.

Checking the temperature, it was about 50 degrees, so I put on my running tights instead of shorts. Mistake #1 - I should have checked the humidity. Made it feel like it was 70 instead of 50, so I was hot the whole time I was running.

I headed out and started running and that's when I figured out what other runners have meant by "dead legs." I can't really describe it other than to say I'd clearly pushed the muscles in my legs as far as they were prepared to go, and they felt like they stopped responding. Sweet.

But I kept going. My joints hurt as usual, and I tried telling myself that it was just a short run, only two miles. Ha ha, only two miles. I crack myself up.

With running over an 11-minute pace yesterday, I figured I should give myself 22 minutes of running to make sure I got in 2 miles. When I hit a half a mile though, I really thought I should have decided to run only a mile. But ten minutes of running seemed so short, so I kept pushing myself. I pushed myself to 9 minutes, 10 minutes, and finally 11 minutes before I turned around.

By this time, my body was really letting me know that it hated me. I kept thinking that the total time running was so much shorter today than usual, that I had to just keep going and finish. Honestly, I'm not sure how I managed it, other than "Let it Rock" coming on my headphones at the right time, but I managed to do 2.35 miles in 22:30 - that's a 9:34 pace! I was surprised that I managed such a fast pace on a two mile run - that's the quickest I've ever gone on a longer run (my fastest pace is 9:32 when I ran a mile a couple of months ago). So clearly, I was pushing myself harder this morning again. I'll admit to knowing I was doing it too, because despite how tired my body was, I knew I could keep up a faster pace on a shorter run, and I wanted to see how I could do. Of course, now, I feel as though I need a nap and I'm about ready to throw a party because I get a recovery day tomorrow.

Today, I'm still having trouble finding my motivation for longer runs. Coach J suggested bribing myself with brownies, but let's be honest, I would eat those things whether I run far or not. I have been bribing myself with cupcakes, as in "Just think, when you get home, you can eat a cupcake." But again, I'd probably eat the cupcakes whether I run or not. I had hoped that registering last week for the 10k would be solid motivation, because when I registered for my 5k's, I thought oh crap, I'd better make sure I run, and run far enough, so that I'm prepared. But this week, I just keep asking myself why the heck I registered for it at all! This week has got me wondering a lot of things: am I really cut out to be a distance runner? Do I just prefer to run 3-ish miles three days a week? Maybe I overextended myself with the goal of running the LBI race this year, and should just postpone it to next year? Why did I go from loving running to not really loving it in about two weeks' time? Why can't I seem to get past this 4.5 mile threshold?

Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely pleased that I went from not running at all - a literal couch potato - to running three to four days a week, 2-4.5 miles at a time in about three months. That's a great feeling. But I am struggling with finding a balance between maybe having to be satisfied with being a recreational runner, who competes in 5k's and runs 10 miles a week, but feels guilty/disappointed that I can't/didn't run in the 18-mile race and a marathon and maybe just seeing this as a bump in the road, a fly in my motivation ointment, which I'll look back on as something else I overcame in a few months' time. It's hard to know what the answers are.

So in the meantime, my plan is to train for my 10k as hard as I can, and then re-evaluate after that. Coach J thought I had come up with a crazy schedule this week (I always prefer when he thinks I'm pushing myself too hard, because then I can relax a little!), so even though he actually has a crazy schedule of workouts in preparation for the LP Ironman in July, I will be bugging him again to let me know what I should actually be running. And I will be hoping that this is just a bump in the road!

Guess which idiot picked the hottest part of the day to run?

2009-05-20T14:30:00.005-04:00

Um, yes, that would be this idiot.

I definitely should have run first thing this morning, but watching Daniel Craig in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider was infinitely more important than getting to sleep early last night. We all have our priorities.

At any rate, the weather here is gorgeous today - sunny, low-ish humidity, a cool breeze - just perfect. Unless you are a runner. Then, it's just a little bit too hot, a little bit too sunny, and the wind is either too strong or non-existent.

When I headed out to run this afternoon, it was already 77 degrees. After having to walk for a lot of Saturday's run because of the humidity, I knew I needed to pace myself well if I wanted to run the whole 45 minutes I had planned for today. I started out slowly and was running into the wind for the first half. Sometimes that was okay, because it would cool me off, but more often than not, it wasn't a very cool breeze, so it just forced me to struggle a bit to keep my pace up. I kept feeling like I was running so slowly that I was almost running in place, but after a few minutes, I could really feel myself tiring out, so I knew I had to keep it slow.

After the first mile, I was really struggling, and I was worried that I'd have to take a walking break. I think if I hadn't taken it so easy last week and cut myself a break, I probably would have walked a lot today. But because I felt like I didn't get a solid week of running in last week and I need to be able to survive that 10k in about three weeks, I continued to push myself. I reminded myself that my "happy life list" or "bucket list" or whatever you want to call it doesn't say "Run a 10k under a 10-minute mile pace." It just says "Run a 10k" (it used to say "Run a 5k" by the way - first thing I got to cross off!!). So although I like to think that I need to be running faster all the time, the main thing is that I'm running. And today, I ran.

I tried to think about the part of my route that was right ahead of me (especially since I felt like every time I looked at the time, I always had thirty-plus minutes left). And I just...kept....going. It was slow, but I was running. I had it in my head that I just wanted to hit the 5k halfway mark, that if I did, I would consider that a win for today. But then I passed it. And kept going. I realized that I was definitely going to hit four miles for today (which is not ALL that huge for running 45 minutes, but I was so hot and tired, it was a big deal to me today). Because I knew I was really going to be tired on the back half, I turned around about twenty seconds early and headed home. On the second half of the run, I got to thinking a bit (I love it when I can think about something besides how tired my body feels while I'm running, because it makes me feel less tired). I passed a group of people sitting on the beach (in bikinis - is it really bikini season already? I mean, I'm wearing shorts and a tee shirt, but I was running...anyway, I digress) and although I'm a huge fan of sitting on the beach and relaxing, I was proud of myself that I was taking a lunch break to run. A few months ago, the most athletic thing I was doing was scrubbing my bathtub and today, I ran four miles. That made me feel pretty good about myself! And it's made me feel like other things are possible in my life too.

As I was running, I also passed a woman on a bike - a serious biker. You can tell the difference, because leisure bicycle riders are wearing regular clothes and sit up straight on their bikes. They sort of meander along, and you can tell they're either trying to get from place to place, or their just enjoying the weather. The serious athletes are the ones with helmets, wearing spandex, and crouched over their handlebars like they're in the Tour de France. As she passed me, she waved and smiled and it made me feel like part of this club of athletes - people who work out when it's hot, or even when it's raining - definitely a cool feeling!

Despite that though, I've been having a bit of an internal debate with myself lately, wondering if I might just be a recreational runner, and not a competitive one. I really loved the experience of my two 5k's and have enjoyed all my training up until then. But since then, having to ramp up my running has really been a mental struggle and I feel like I'm trying to get over this threshold to become a real distance runner. I'm not sure if it was because I had two bad weeks of running right after the 5k's, feeling like my body was revolting against me and finding it hard to get back into the rhythm of running or if it's because I just don't want to run more than 3 or 3 1/2 miles at a time. I'll have to figure that one out. Mainly I have this question in my head before I run, but then when I get back home after a good run (or even today, after a tough run), I feel great and enjoy seeing how far I can run. So who knows?

At any rate, I finished 4.06 miles in 45:10 - an 11:07 pace. I wasn't very happy with being over 11 minutes again, but since it was hot today and I deliberately slowed myself down, I'm going to cut myself some slack. I think tomorrow is supposed to be more of the same, so I plan to get my butt out of bed earlier and run first thing instead, and hopefully I'll have some better speed. Tomorrow is a short run (ha ha, I love when I call 40 minutes a short run. It sounds short, but it sure doesn't feel that way!). Then I've got Friday off and I've got a nice long 55-minute run on Saturday. In about a week or so, I think I'll actually be running to the post office in town and back - I always thought that was so much longer than it actually is...

Back on Track

2009-05-18T14:06:00.004-04:00

I think last week just wasn't my week, and I include yesterday in that. Saturday night, I managed to tweak my knee, enough that it was still hurting yesterday. I felt like I just couldn't win. So I decided to start fresh with a Monday/Wednesday/Thursday/Saturday schedule this week. My knee was still sore this morning, but I realized that it hurts more when I'm going down stairs and put pressure on it than when I'm going upstairs, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to run, unless I was going downhill a lot. Plus, I was really grouchy when I woke up yesterday and again this morning, so I knew I needed to run out some of my frustration.

With that in mind and looking at last week's time goals, I decided I'd do 50 minutes today, 45 on Wednesday, 40 on Thursday, and 55 on Saturday. Since I started running longer than 20 minutes (ah, remember the days when I thought 20 minutes was an impossibly long time to run? How I miss those days...), I try not to think about the run as a whole, because it overwhelms me. I'm still battling myself with wanting to meet the goal of a ten-minute pace on a regular basis, but knowing that it's more important to get out there and run for a certain length of time. I kept trying to remind myself during today's run that before February 12th, I wasn't running at all. Even as recently as on the day I turned 29, running anywhere wasn't a thought in my head. And now, just over three months after I started running, I've completed two 5k's and can run over four miles. At one time. Three months ago, I couldn't have run that far if an axe murderer was chasing me. So it's important to keep perspective.

Knowing that I'd really scaled back my running last week (getting in only one good run and one not-so-good run instead of four good runs), and going from running 30 of 38 minutes to running 50 today, I needed to cut myself a break. I tried to be mindful of my perceived effort today as I headed out, because I knew that overdoing it on Saturday in the humidity is what kept me from running the whole 35 minutes. Today's weather was definitely better - low fifties, not very much humidity, and overcast, it reminded me of the morning of my first 5k, minus the rain. And actually, my body felt pretty much the same today as it did that day - the usual joint soreness, but nothing major and nothing to really hold me back. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm also wearing exactly the same clothes as my first 5k too, even down to the socks, I think!

But anyway, as I started out, I kept my pace slower than I have been, and it felt like a 10:30 pace, which I was happy with. Of course, when I mapped my run, I found out it was more like a 10:55 pace, so I was a little disappointed (unless I mis-mapped my run, which is possible, because my halfway point was in a marsh with no real distinguishing landmarks). But since I've been running consistently under 11 minutes for a while now, I think I've got to be happy with anything under 11.

The first mile was tough, as usual, and then miles 2 and 3 were pretty good. Around about the end of the third mile, it started to sink in how much further I still had to go, and mentally that made me feel really tired. I kept thinking I wouldn't make it, so I reverted to my trick of imagining myself at a point further along the route - so when I was still back towards the municipal dock, I pictured myself running along the straightaway by the beach, and then when I reached that, I pictured myself running by the start of the sidewalk, about a half a mile from home. Fortunately, that worked, and I was able to finish the entire run, ending back where I started at 50:50. It looks like I ran 4.65 miles, which is less than I had hoped for, but when I finished the run, I felt like I was back on track again. So now we'll see how Wednesday and Thursday's runs go, and hopefully I can pick up the pace a bit, and then I'm really hoping to be over five miles on Saturday!

The good, the bad and the ugly

2009-05-16T19:59:00.004-04:00

Today's run was less-than-perfect (and I'll get to that in a minute), but I want to start off with the thought that came to me while I was running. Which was that some days are about failures. I'm a recovering perfectionist, and some days I am less hard on myself than others. My general M.O. has been that if I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do something perfectly, I just won't do it. Not that I'm a quitter, but I just won't even try it. Which may be why I never tried running before now.

But I've been working on that for a few years, and even more so lately, because honestly, trying to be perfect is hard work. Not to mention it's impossible. Someone told me recently that I was a perfectionist "up until now," so I've been trying to see it as something I used to be and am not anymore. It occurred to me that when I look at things from the point of view of a perfectionist, all I can see is what I can't do, what mistakes I've made, what I could have done better. That's a real "glass half-empty" view of myself. But when I look at what I'm able to do, what's possible, and what I've done right, that's more of a "glass half-full" view - much better!

So what does this have to do with running? Well, today's run wasn't a good one, and I realized that part of being a runner is having it all - the good, the bad, and the ugly. I've got to accept that there will be bad days, and great days, and that I can't have one without the other. So despite having a tough week, I can still be a runner. I can still pick myself up after a bad run, and dust myself off, and try again tomorrow.

For today's run, I was coming off of two days rest, after a 40-minute run on Wednesday, which followed three days rest. Not my best week for running. But between my teeth issues continuing to make me feel yucky and seriously limiting what I can eat, and then my puppy ending up at the vet with bad hot spots, allergies and an ear infection, not to mention disassembling and moving a bed, then assembling two beds in as many days, and whacking my head on a shelf in the process, it just wasn't my week.

I debated running yesterday, but I was feeling so wiped out, that I figured I'd start fresh today. That might not have been such a bad thing, but when I got up this morning, the humidity was incredible. It was only about 60 degrees, but it felt as though I was running while wearing a wet blanket over my head. Before I headed out, I was trying to decide whether I wanted to do my 35-minute run, or just skip right to the 50-minute run, and then get back to a regular four-day schedule next week. I opted for the 35-minute run since I'd taken so much time off this week and headed out.

The whole run was tough, right from the beginning. Although my body had felt good all morning, as soon as I started running, I could feel the aches in my hips and my lower back - after taking so much Advil last week because of my teeth and my neck, I'm now avoiding it like the plague. I tried to shake off the aches, but was already checking the time before I'd even hit a mile. After about 13 minutes, I had to stop to walk. I was dripping with sweat, coughing the humidity out of my lungs, and feeling like I was on fire. I walked for a minute, and then started running again. I made it another few minutes, but again, had to stop to walk. Eventually, I was so overheated that I had to walk for a few minutes. With about six minutes left to go on my 35-minute goal, I knew I'd have to run the last six in order to have run 27 total minutes. I pushed myself to do that, and then pushed myself to run another three minutes for a total of 38 minutes - 30 minutes running, and 8 walking. When I mapped my run, I can see that I did 3.16 miles (which is about what I thought) in 38 minutes, for a 12-minute pace, which really tells me something - I pushed myself too hard when I was running for the level of humidity today. If I could have relaxed a bit and slowed down, I probably would have been able to run the whole thing without overheating.

But instead of beating myself up for having an "ugly" run, I'm working on seeing today's run as a success for a couple of reasons:

1) I actually got out there again after a tough week and made myself run. Not to mention that I still ran 30 out of the 38 minutes.

2) I learned that I pushed myself to run too fast without really realizing it, and when the weather conditions are telling me to slow down (We're back to checking the old "PE" - Perceived Effort!).

3) I still ran/walked more than three miles, which I never used to be able to do!

I know part of the reason I'm pushing myself and being hard on myself is because I have that 10k coming up in about four weeks, and when I was four weeks away from my 5k's, I was already running that distance. So that makes me really nervous. But I did run 4 miles the other day, so I think I can push myself up to 6.2 in the next four weeks.

Tomorrow's run will be a long one - 50 minutes - and hopefully I'll be running close to 5 miles. We're supposed to get thunderstorms tonight, and I'm hoping that breaks the humidity, so I can run a bit easier!

Yes, I Took Three Days Off

2009-05-13T15:59:00.004-04:00

You know what they say about the best laid plans...

I had every intention of running Monday/Wednesday/Thursday/Saturday this week, but after pushing my body a bit too hard last week, with disappointing results, an ever-worsening pinched nerve in my neck, and waking up feeling like I was getting the swine flu on Monday morning, I thought it was about time to skip a run. My body was rebelling, telling me that I needed a break - no running, no yoga, just lots and lots of rest. And I felt yucky enough that I didn't even feel guilty about skipping the run.

On Tuesday, I thought about running and giving myself an every-other-day schedule for the rest of the week, but I was still not feeling great. So I thought I'd stick to the original plan (minus the Monday run) and hoped that a full three days off would get me back in fighting shape.

I woke up this morning and felt like I'd been run over. My neck was sore, which it usually is first thing in the morning lately, and what I thought was the flu is actually periocornitis, which is a fancy way of saying that the gums around one of my wisdom teeth are infected (which makes me feel like I have a sore throat). I had this confirmed this morning at the dentist, who put me on antibiotics and said he didn't think I needed to have my teeth removed. Sweet.

As the day wore on, I felt a little bit better and decided that I needed to run. As you may remember from the last time I had three consecutive days off, too much time off from running can wreak havoc on my mind. So I knew that if I wanted to get back to it, today was the day. And it's perfect running weather today too - overcast, but with some sun, no humidity, 66 degrees. Just enough to get a chill as I set out in my shorts and tee shirt, which was a good sign for the run.

The first mile was tough, showing me that even three days off can hurt me a little in terms of endurance. I was pushing myself to keep a good pace today, because I want to be down around ten minutes again - I do have that 10k coming up after all! My body felt pretty good - I struggled to find my pace a bit right in the beginning, but once I got settled, I could tell that last week's residual soreness was mostly gone. So though 3 days off hurt me in some ways, I think it helped to let my body recover and remind me why I actually like running!

Miles 2 and 3 were the best - I felt pretty good, there was a nice breeze to keep me cool, and I knew I'd hit close to 2 miles by the halfway mark, which is where I'd hoped to be. Once I reached that last mile though, I was definitely feeling tired. But since I had let myself rest for three days, I wasn't going to take it easy today. I pushed myself to keep up the pace for that last mile and finished where I'd started just a little bit slow, at 40:30. I mapped my run, and it was 3.97 miles, so a 10:11 minute pace. I'm definitely happy with that after three days off! Actually, I'd be happy with that period.

Tomorrow is supposed to be a 35 minute run, but Coach J says to see how I'm feeling and maybe do Friday and Saturday back-to-back instead of today and tomorrow. If I can keep up close to a ten minute pace, I might actually hit almost five miles on Saturday, which would be awesome! But, one day at a time, right?

Starting with Long Runs...

2009-05-09T21:23:00.005-04:00

Somedays, I don't have a very successful run. Today was one of those days.

Ugh.

When my alarm went off at 7 this morning (yes, I know it's Saturday), I definitely wanted to snooze it and get some more sleep. But I remembered to ask myself "do I really want this?" and that was enough to get me up and out. Plus, I remembered how itchy and frustrated I'd been the day before, and I knew a run would solve that.

As I started my warm up walk (which I've shortened), I thought, "What a beautiful day this is!" The sun was shining, it was 62 degrees with a lovely breeze - perfect weather, right? Well, yes, perfect for a WALK. But with high humidity and direct sun, it wasn't so perfect for running.

I started my run and my body HURT. Muscles, joints, tendons, all of it. The only thing that hasn't been hurting are my feet and ankles. I kept thinking that my body probably would have benefitted from an extra day off after my races, because I've struggled so much all week. I've been trying to figure out why that might be, since it was really just two short runs back to back, and I've been running longer distances for a few weeks now, but I just can't figure it out. All I know is that my body has been more sore and more tired this week than it's been since I started running.

As usual though, I knew I needed at least a mile to warm up my muscles, so I kept at it. Since it was warm and humid, and my body was so sore, I didn't push myself too hard speed-wise. My goal was to run 45 minutes today, and I wanted to make sure I met that. By the time I got to the water, my body had warmed up, but I was really starting to overheat. Almost none of my route is shaded, so that always makes running in the early morning sun interesting. My halfway time was 22:30, but in my overheated state, I thought I was supposed to turn earlier, at 23:30, and by the time I realized, I was too tired to turn back around and run further. Normally that wouldn't be such a big deal, but when I mapped my run when I got home, I realized I'd run 3.96...just 0.04 short of 4 miles. That frustrated me. But then I remembered I'd actually run further than where I started running, so when I double-checked my mapping, I realized I'd actually run 4.01 miles. So more successful than I thought, though it could certainly be better!

After turning around, I made it to 34 minutes, and I thought I was going to pass out. I gave myself a minute to walk, which also frustrated me. But that minute cooled me off enough that I was able to finish the rest of the run without passing out or throwing up, though I was definitely close - and that's key in my book! I finished past where I started at 45 minutes, so even with one minute of walking, I still had an 11:10 pace. So as I write this, I'm now thinking the run was a little more successful than I initially believed!

Earlier this week, I aggravated the pinched nerve in my neck, and it's been getting steadily worse over the past two days, so I'm really looking forward to a rest day tomorrow. It unfortunately means no yoga, since I have limited motion, but fortunately running only bothers it slightly. Hopefully tomorrow will bring some relief, though with another two-hour drive ahead of me, I'm not so sure! Next week, I'll be running Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday and I'm already looking forward to my short run!

Will the Real Athletes Please Show Up?

2009-05-07T10:43:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, I was reading a post by one of my favorite bloggers & triathletes, Frozentriette, about what success really means at the end of a workout. Something she said really stuck with me - "I want this and I show up for it." Wow. Right there is the difference between the weekend warriors, and the athletes. She's getting up at 4:30 am to workout, regardless of the temperature, regardless of the weather (and she's in Alaska, so definitely not as mild as it is here!). She went on to say about her workouts that:

"It may or may not go according to my expectations or desires, but
regardless, I'm there. Performance at this stage in my life is irrelative. I would love to arrive at the pool and swim like a fish for an hour and walk away with complete satisfaction.

"However, what truly makes my training a success is the simple act of showing up. Today, and Saturday's race, the performance was not there, but I was. Some days, we connect. Some days we do not. Regardless, I record it in my training log and show up again tomorrow."

Somedays, I want to beat myself up for not being able to run faster or longer, but the truth is that I'll get there. The important thing is that I'm showing up, putting in the work, finishing my workouts. Maybe I struggled on Tuesday with my first post-race run, but I still did it.

Just showing up was the thought that was in my head when the alarm went off this morning. It was another grey, rainy morning, but it was already 63 degrees (of humidity, mostly). I really wanted to sleep in a bit longer, but I asked myself, "Do you really want this?" And since the answer was yes, I got up, put on my running clothes, and headed out the door.

After talking to Coach J yesterday, my goals for the rest of the week are to run 40 minutes today and 45 on Saturday. Yes, kids, this is a 4-run week, which is what I'm now switching to. Gotta get ready for that 18-mile race in October!

I shortened my warm up walk this morning, in part so I would focus on how long I was running instead of the distance. I could tell I was running a bit faster than Tuesday (whew!) but my body is still a bit tired and sore. The first mile was tough on my right leg, which has some serious muscle soreness just behind my knee and lower thigh (makes walking up the stairs a joy, let me tell you!). But on the plus side, my hips felt great until right towards the end of the run, and once I warmed up, I felt pretty strong. I ran further than I ever have and figured I'd stop right where I started, at 40 minutes and 30 seconds. After mapping the run, I know that I ran 3.69 miles, with about a 10:58 pace. Not great, but certainly faster than the 11:43 pace I had on Tuesday! Now I've just got to bring my body up to where my mind already is.

Oh and for anyone who's wondering, I managed to put my socks on the correct feet this morning (On Tuesday, I realized that my socks had a "right" and "left" on them, and I'd been wearing them on the wrong feet all day). I'm not sure it made me faster, but it can't hurt to try!

Next up, a 45-minute run on Saturday, then I'm looking at runs on Monday/Wednesday/Thursday/Saturday next week!

First Post Race Run

2009-05-05T14:03:00.003-04:00

With only one day off in between my two 5k race weekend and my first post-race run, I knew I was going to be hurting. After Sunday's race, although I was elated, my hips were also pretty sore, which wasn't helped by a two hour drive home. I was so tired on Sunday night, once the adrenaline and excitement wore off, I could barely move off the couch to make myself some dinner - which was key, since I was STARVING. But eventually I fed myself and spent yesterday at work taking Advil and resting, and then made sure to do some yoga. I slathered on the BioFreeze. I even found my hip stretches from PT and stretched out my hips - I forgot how much some of those stretches could actually hurt!

When I woke up this morning to another gloomy, rainy day, I figured I would put off my run until lunch to give the Advil a chance to kick in and the temperature to warm up a bit. Coach J had told me to run my usual 3.4 miles, but not worry about how fast I got there. Uh, no problem there, since my body was definitely not prepared to let me run very fast.

Although I wasn't expecting much, today's run definitely wasn't great. For the last mile, I actually felt halfway decent - not too tired and my muscles were sore, but warm enough to keep going. But those first two and a half-ish miles were brutal. It was the first time during a run that I really wanted to cry. I felt like there was no cushioning left in my hips and knees, so that every step I took hurt. I took a walking break right after the first half mile because I wanted to take my fleece off - usually, I can do this and run at the same time, but I was so tired, I didn't think I could manage it today. So I walked for a couple of minutes and then ran the rest of the way, for a total of about 40 minutes. MapMyRun tells me I was at about an 11:43 pace, which is actually faster than I thought I was running.

But, I tell myself that the important thing is that I did get out there and run today, no matter how much I was hurting. So now I'm back to icing and Advil, and hoping that another day of rest will make for a great run on Thursday.

Sometimes, I even surprise myself!

2009-05-03T20:38:00.009-04:00

WOO HOO ENDORPHINS!

After 5k #1 yesterday, I was totally elated! I was happy to have it over with (after all my nerves) and excited that I met my goal of running the entire time. I was also pretty satisfied with my overall time!

The other thing I was: totally exhausted. After all of the adrenaline wore off and combined with my lack of sleep from the night before and a two hour drive up to my parents' house, I was TIRED. So tired, that I went to bed at nine-thirty, which for this night owl, is almost unheard of! I knew I also had an early start of 6:15 this morning, so I wanted to make sure I got as much sleep as possible. Turns out I just need to be racing in 5k's in order to fall asleep quickly and early!

I woke up a couple of times last night, which I attribute to nerves over this morning's race. I wasn't nearly as nervous as I was for yesterday's until right before we started running, but it was still going to be 5k in a new place, on a course I'd never even seen. Plus, I'd be running with my brother-in-law, former marine and corrections officer, who seems to just be one of those natural runners. I knew he wasn't planning on really going after the race today, because he had to work this afternoon, but I still figured I'd end up left in the dust at some point!

Race registration opened at 7, but with the race being at 9, I didn't think it was necessary to get there anytime before 7:30. We got our numbers (today I was 70) and our tee shirts (yay!) and walked around a little bit to warm up. The weather today was about as good as yesterday, except it definitely felt cooler. I think it might have been less humid, so I was definitely feeling the chilly bite in the air and spotty drops of rain. We spotted the current police class, with their shaved heads and matching tee shirts, and another runner told me they normally keep up a 10-minute pace (which turned out to be more like a 9-minute pace based on when my sister said they came into the finish). When my brother-in-law told me I could pass him and run my own pace, I asked him what he normally runs at. He said he's a pretty consistent 10-minute pace, no matter the distance he's running (unless it's a one-miler).

Sweet.

I mentioned that my fastest time (in training) was actually a 10:14 pace, so I told him that HE could feel free to take off and leave me behind. My legs were feeling okay, but I could definitely tell that the muscles were tired, and my right hip was really complaining - and that was before the race got underway. They had a chiropractic practice there to stretch out and tape the runners, so I thought I'd head over and take advantage of that before starting. The resident doctor asked me about any injuries, and I mentioned that I have bursitis and tendonitis in my hip, as well as trouble with my right hip. He said that if I were his patient, he'd tell me I couldn't run today.

Ha ha.

Right.

Good thing I'm not his patient. Because I was going to run as long as my legs were not broken.

So he started to stretch me out, which definitely pushed my pain threshold in my hips. As in, I probably could have squeezed out a couple of tears if I wasn't so tough (plus, if you know me, you know how I feel about crying in front of people). He talked about this muscle and that tendon, blah, blah, blah, and suggested, along with one of the other chiropractors, that I start up with physical therapy again, etc and so on. Since PT had actually made my hips worse, I'm a bit reticent to jump right back into it. So I plan to see how the hips do and maybe I'll think about it after I run a marathon.

That's right. I said a marathon. But that's more for another post.

Anyway, they taped me up with a fancy athletic tape that can stretch the muscles and aid in getting blood into them. I was loving having to have most of my hip exposed to the general running public so that I could get taped, and I can't say as to whether it really helped me run better or not. But I'm all for seeing what works! They also gave me a number of samples of BioFreeze, which I must admit, is doing a great job of helping my hip and knee tonight, which are definitely feeling the burn of two back to back 5k's.

So the race!

I lined up with my brother-in-law and we got out our headphones. Here, I'll digress again for a minute, because Coach J wanted me to point out that he HATES people wearing headphones during races. Apparently, it's illegal (not as in against the law, but against the rules) in most races - though I didn't see any rules about that in either of my 5k's. His reasoning, which is good, is best illustrated by an experience he had - a guy was trying to qualify for the Boston Marathon, and was running a good pace behind a girl wearing headphones. She abruptly stopped to walk several yards in front of him, and he called out to her to move to the side so that he could pass her. She didn't hear him, because of the headphones, and when she moved right into his path, he tripped and fell. So yes, in those cases, I can see where headphones are irresponsible. I had a similar thing today with a kid who wasn't wearing headphones who abruptly stopped right in front of me on a narrow path about six inches above the ground, without looking behind him. I just about managed to avoid him. So maybe it's just about being conscientious and looking behind you when you stop or move over (which I always try to do). But I will say that I wouldn't wear headphones in a longer or more serious race. Perhaps I will just have to sing out loud to get me through...maybe Chariots of Fire (can you tell that I'm beyond tired and punchy?).

Okay, so back to today's race. They mentioned that there were 400 participants, and I could definitely tell it was a bigger race than yesterday. The proceeds were to benefit the Special Olympics, so that's a great cause to draw a big crowd for. I'd heard from another runner that the course was mostly flat (phew!), so I planned to try to keep up with my brother-in-law. My goal was to beat yesterday's time, which I know is a big no-no after racing the day before. Most of the other runners I know were telling me to go out and enjoy it, but not expect to run as fast, because I would be tired. But I'm such a type-A personality that even though I mostly wanted to just finish this whole race running, I *really* wanted to beat my time.

A police siren blared to start off the race (gotta love a police-hosted race, so many cops there!), and we were off! I started a timer on my phone so that I could tell roughly how I was doing time-wise. With so many runners sticking to a narrow path (we were in a park, not on the road like yesterday), it was tough to find a good pace right away, and I was worried it would really slow us down. We had to speed up a bit a couple of times to pass people and find some space, and I could definitely feel those little bursts of speed in my tired muscles. I reminded myself that I always feel tired for the first mile, and just thought about hanging in there.

Although I was very good yesterday about starting slower than I thought I should, thanks to everyone's advice, today, we definitely started a bit faster than I normally would have. I could feel myself get tired quickly and fell back a few steps from my brother-in-law. The back of his tee shirt said "Make it Happen," so as long as I was able to keep that in front of me, I felt pretty good. They didn't seem to have any mile markers, so it was anyone's guess as to what we ran the first mile in. I knew my general time should have had me between ten and eleven minutes, so I used that as my mental marker for the first mile. I was really tired by the end of that first mile, and struggling a bit. I fell back a bit from my brother-in-law, who was so nice and slowed down so that I could keep up with him - he did that a couple of times, and really didn't have to. I definitely credit him for encouraging me to end up where I did at the end of the race. My sister picked a good guy!

As we were well into mile 2, I started to think that it must be the hardest mile of a 5k race, because you're past the excitement of the first mile, but not yet into the final push of the last mile. I still had no idea of where the end of the second mile was, but when I saw a second water station, with a small "#2 mile" sign and checked my stopwatch, I was pumped to see it was at 19:52. I knew I'd started it a few seconds late, but if we were keeping up a 10 minute pace and I could put in a big push for the third mile, I knew we'd finish strong!

I really focused on leading with my hips that last mile, which seemed to help me feel less tired. I pushed myself hard, and even with a couple of little hills, managed to mostly keep up with my brother in law. By this point, a LOT of people had passed us - I guess a police race really brings out the true athletes, because almost everyone looked to be in great shape. There were a couple of people who looked pretty strong at the beginning, but ended up walking after the first mile, so that was encouraging for me. But it was still tough to be passed by so many people! I had to remember that running is more about me battling myself and not competing against other people, but I am naturally a bit competitive.

As the lights of the police cruiser came into sight, we knew that the end was near! On the big race clock, I could see it counting up from 30 minutes still - holy cow!! My brother-in-law and I put on a BIG burst of speed (just like I did yesterday), but I really don't know how I managed it because I was SO much more tired at the end of the race. We crossed the finish line at 31:02, giving me a 10-minute pace today - WA-FRICKEN-HOO!! Not only is that my fastest time EVER, but it's also 1:45 FASTER than yesterday!

I wanted to throw a party!

I wanted to lie down.

But instead, we walked a bit to keep from cramping up, grabbed half a banana and some water and celebrated with my sister, my niece, and my mom, who were there to cheer us on today! Yay! Since it was raining, we didn't want to stick around, and a celebration pancake breakfast was calling our names. So we headed to our hometown Jersey diner (ah...) for a well-deserved breakfast. It tasted so good!

FINALLY, they posted the race results online, in a place that I could find them - only took a few hours of web searching. Looks like I came in with an official 10:00 pace - WOO HOO! And I was 179/311, which, when I look at yesterday's race, I realize that I came in in the top 75% yesterday, but today, I came in in the top 58% - WOW! For my age group, I was still #9, but out of 17 this time, putting me in the top 53%, up from 60% yesterday. And I beat most of the younger girls in my age group - only four of the girls in my age group who beat me were younger than 28 (9 total girls with faster times were younger than 28)! It also looks like I came in 50th out of 126 women, so in the top 40% - cool! Now I am totally excited about today's race!! But mostly, I'm just thrilled that I got my first ever 5k done (cross that off my life goals list!) and that I ran two great (for me) races back to back. Yay!

So after another two hour drive back home (plus 30 minutes each way to both races), I am so tired and so sore, along with being SO happy. My hip does not thank me for running, and for the first time since I've started running, I'm feeling some real soreness & tightness in my muscles. I love it.

I talked to Coach J earlier, who has already got me thinking about my next step (no rest for the weary). He wants me to run again on Tuesday, so my body doesn't have too much time off, and I think that makes sense (though I *was* hoping for a Wednesday run). He says I can take as much time as I need to run my usual 3.4, but I need to run it. I'm ready. Well, I'll be ready on Tuesday. Plus, I have to make sure to move my muscles a bit tomorrow so they're not too stiff. No running, but I think yoga is definitely in the cards as is walking my puppy (despite the seven day rain forecast). Then, I'm ramping up to running four days a week, so we can see how that affects my body, and I'm in search of a 10k for early June, to be followed by a half marathon in August or September. Ah, I can almost picture running 13.1 miles in the August heat. But I have to say that after this weekend, I *finally* feel like a real runner, and I'm definitely hooked. Though I'm also very very tired...

I just want to say thanks again to all my family and friends (real life and online), whose support, enthusiasm, and advice both got me through my early run/walk days and this weekend's two 5k's. If I was alone in this, I definitely would have stopped on day 1 and everyone's strong belief in me means more to me than I can ever say.

I Ran My First 5k!!!

2009-05-02T12:35:00.010-04:00

So this morning was my first ever 5k - the 18th Annual River to Bay 5k in Victorian Island Heights, NJ. To say I was nervous would have been an understatement. Yesterday, I was practically jumping out of my skin all day. I got lots of great encouragement from my coach, friends, family and tweeters, so I filed that away to push myself on the run this morning. I wanted to get a look at the course, because someone had mentioned to me that Victorian Island Heights was pretty hilly (yikes!), so I headed out there yesterday afternoon and drove the course. It was fairly flat, but there was one big hill, right after the mile two marker, and I knew it would be my nemesis.

After taking twice as long to get home as it had taken to drive there (um, why did I decide to go anywhere on a rainy Friday afternoon at the beach??), I tried to get myself ready. I packed a bag of the things I would want, a sweatshirt that would stay dry in the car in case I got soaked, a protein bar and a banana, some water, my race confirmation, etc. I set out my clothes for the morning - my running tights, socks, sneakers, tee shirt, fleece and shorts in case it ended up being warmer than I thought. I checked the forecast about fifty times, and it always said the same thing - at 10am, 58 degrees, with a 50% chance of rain and 75% humidity. Ah humidity.

I was happy that I knew where the course was, and that I'd run in the rain before, but I was still nervous. I wanted to leave my house by 7:45 this morning, just to make sure I got there in plenty of time.

When I arrived, it was pouring - lovely. As I drove into the parking lot, I rolled down my window to talk to one of the guys directing traffic, and he said "You look like a runner!" Sweet. I have arrived.

I parked P MINI and headed into registration, which had opened early. One of the guys manning registration thought I looked like a "Carol" (really?), but we sorted out my actual name and I got my bag (plus free tee shirt! And free pens - I love free pens, they're all I write with!). My race number was 101. Now it was official - no turning back!

I cooled my heels in the car for a while, listening to some pump up music, trying to read the paper to distract myself, and posting updates and thank you's on twitter/Facebook. I heard the starting gun go off for the 1mile fun run, and 1mile health walk, and knew we were the next to go. With about half an hour to go, I found some pins to attach my number with, and hit the ladies room (along with almost every other woman there) before I walked over to the starting line. I saw that a lot of people had their headphones on, so I was really glad that I'd brought mine. I knew my playlist would calm me down and make me think it was just like any other run.

I backed up a bit in the group, because I wanted to make sure I wasn't run over right away! Everyone's advice was to start slower than I thought I should be running, because adrenaline would make me want to go faster, and I'd tire myself out too quickly. As we got closer and closer to race time, I could definitely feel the adrenaline racing and my heart pumping - I was so nervous!

Finally, the starting gun sounded and we were off! I forced myself to run a bit slower than I wanted to, and focused on leading with my hips, as per Miss Ive's suggestion. My body felt great for a change, which I think was definitely adrenaline! It was still raining a little, but that kept me cool and I just settled in for the run. A lot of people were passing me, but I knew I'd pass a lot of people later on because I was playing it smart and starting slower.

At the end of mile 1, I was at 10:47 - not bad, but not great. I knew I could run faster than that, but I also knew that I had that big hill coming up, and I didn't want to tire myself out too quickly and be forced to walk. So I just kept going and sticking with my pace and after about another half a mile, a lot of people started walking. I was happy that I was still running and it seemed my playlist knew I needed some great songs, so that kept me going too.

Mile 2, I was at 21:51, so I had an 11:04 pace for mile two. Again, could have been faster, but I was happy that I was still running and feeling pretty good. My hip was feeling a bit sore by this point, but with the rain, that's to be expected! Then, the dreaded hill was coming up...

My sister had pointed out to me yesterday that at least I knew it was coming, so I was grateful for that. A guy next to me sped up so that he could reach the top faster, but I knew that it would kill me if I did that, so I just tried to keep my pace up. My goal was to run the entire race, no matter what speed, so I focused on that and before I knew it, I was at the top! That same guy who sped up had to stop for a coughing fit, and I ended up passing him.

So then, it was all downhill (some of it literally). I knew I only had 1.1 miles to go, so I sped up as much as I could. After another 1/2 a mile, I was at 28:38, which meant I'd run half a mile in 6:27, a bit slow, but again, not bad. I really started to push myself and soon enough, I could see the finish line! There were a lot of people standing there and cheering as the runners came in and I could see one guy ahead of me. I really pulled out all the stops and ran as fast as I could past that guy (who turned out to be 64 years old) into the finish!! I unfortunately missed my official time, but since the race results are up already, I know that it was 32:47 - yay!! That puts me at a 10:33 pace, which is slower than my run on Wednesday, but considering it was a course I'd never run before, and there was that big hill, I'm very happy with it!

So out of 260 people, I came in 195th, placed 77/115 women, and 9/15 in my age group. I'd say that's pretty darn good!

Now, I can rest, but only for a little while, because tomorrow, is 5k #2 - the Hot Pursuit fun run, which I'll be running in with my brother-in-law. Apparently, he's nervous that I'll beat him...but he's a former marine, and a corrections officer, so really, the odds of that happening are slim to none. I just hope it's flat...

And a BIG THANK YOU goes out to all of my friends and family who have been so unbelievably supportive of me during this whole running process! I couldn't have done it without you!

Running Mad Works!

2009-04-29T17:08:00.003-04:00

Some of you may remember my mentions of "Miss Ive," whose blog tagline is "Run mad as often as you choose." I'm not generally mad when I run, so I haven't had too much chance to test this slogan out. The one time I did run mad, it wasn't my best run ever. But today, it worked for me.

I suppose I wasn't mad per se. I first woke up this morning at 4am, with strong winds battering the house. You'd think I'd be used to that by now, but since it was SO HOT the last few days, I went to sleep last night with all the upstairs windows open and the attic fan on. So when the wind started blowing like mad and rattling all the shades at 4, I had to get up and batten down the hatches. I left the windows in my bedroom open, but with the rest closed, it was quiet enough to fall back asleep. But when my alarm went off, I thought, there is NO WAY I am getting up to run. In my sleepy mind, I figured I would just run at lunchtime. When I finally did get up, I realized that I already had a commitment at lunchtime, as well as a phone call around ten, and the rain had started. Joy. So then, I was mad at myself for not getting up and running.

And things didn't seem to get better from there. Not that anything in particular went wrong, I just felt itchy, like I couldn't settle in my own skin. The dog was nudging me and it bothered me more than usual. I felt like I was trying to get a bunch of work done, but I wasn't really finishing anything. Just a stop and start sort of day. So around two, I decided I had to take my lunch break and just RUN. I felt like I was jumping out of my skin, and it was the only thing that would tire my body out enough to stop that.

Of course, it was forty degrees cooler today than it was at the same time two days ago. Ah April. But at least it had stopped raining.

And my old nemesis was back: the wind. I know I said I missed the wind on Monday, but I lied. It was strong enough today that I really struggled in a couple of places. But that being said, when I left the house today, my goal was to run 3.41 miles in less than 36:25. I wanted to beat my 10:41 pace from Monday. What do you think, did I do it?

I started out pretty strong, though my joints were much more sore today. Whenever the barometric pressure goes up with a storm, my hips let me know! I kept telling myself it was nothing major and I just needed to warm up, so I kept going. At my first landmark, which I normally reach at about 6:15 into my run, I was there at about 5:45 instead. So that spurred me on. And I felt like I was reaching each subsequent landmark faster too.

But my lungs were struggling again and my hip was causing me some trouble. I basically ignored that and doggedly kept going, just putting one foot in front of the other. Once I passed the halfway mark, I slowed down a touch because I had a side cramp that went up into my shoulder. I just kept telling myself that it was only pain and would probably go away, and fortunately, it eventually did. This not psyching myself out thing is really working!

The last mile and a half, I kept mentally picturing myself at the next landmark point instead of where I actually was, which worked great. I also remembered something else Miss Ive had told me, a suggestion to lead with my hips when I run, and for some reason, I finally understood what she meant today and was able to do it. And it made a world of difference - for the last half mile, I felt less fatigued and stronger, and that was when I knew I could really push myself.

I kept checking my time, and when I hit one of my last landmarks with about 7 minutes to go (I'd set a 38 minute timer), I thought, there's no way, I'm going to beat my 36:25 time. But I figured I'd give it a shot, so I sped up as much as I could stand. With about two blocks left, and 3:45 left on the clock, I knew I was going to blow by Monday's time, so I really dug deep and ran as fast as I could. I hit the end of the block, and my finish line, at 35:05 - a full minue and twenty seconds faster than Monday!

Woo-fricken-HOO!!

I was so excited, but my body was definitely not that happy with me. But I did it!

When I set out today, I wanted to be able to prove to myself that I could run faster when it was cooler, than I did on Monday, when it was 72 degrees and humid (it was about 54 when I ran today). And since it's my last long run before my first 5k on Saturday, I wanted to make it a good one - and it was!

I'm extremely excited to say that today, I ran at a 10:17/mile pace, bringing my pace down by 24 seconds!

I guess running mad or frustrated does work, and by the end of my run, I'd tired my body out enough to get rid of the itchy feeling. Now it's on to my 5k's and seeing what I can do there! I think my goal for both of those is to have fun and just run the 3.1 miles!

Broke an 11 minute mile today!!

2009-04-27T13:15:00.004-04:00

I think it was the blueberry waffle I ate before I ran.

Or maybe because I got more than 3.4 minutes of sleep last night.

But whatever the reason, this morning, I broke an 11-minute mile. In the direct sun. At 72 degrees. WOO HOO.

After managing to get about seven and a half hours of sleep last night, I'd like to say I woke up raring to go. But not so much. I was certainly better rested, and motivated to run when I realized that in thirty minutes this morning, the temperature rose from 66 to 72 degrees. I knew it was going to be a hot day (and in fact, it's about 95 right now), and I definitely wanted to get my run in before it got too bad out there. I had a little bit of an unsettled stomach when I woke up and a leftover headache from last night, so I popped a couple of Advil and stuck to my blueberry waffle plan. My goal for today was to run 3.4 miles in less than 38 minutes - yes, I know that seems to be my goal a lot lately, but I KNOW I can make myself run faster.

As I started running, my body felt pretty good. My muscles were tired, but no real pain anywhere. Yoga definitely helped last night and I learned an important lesson - although I could tell that my legs were stronger when I did lower body yoga last week, doing a PM yoga workout last night showed me that my leg muscles are too tight. I can normally touch my heels to the ground when doing downward dog, but last night they were definitely a inch or two above ground. So I really do have to do more yoga, even (and maybe especially) on running days. I know I've said that before, but because I really pride myself on being pretty flexible, I really mean it this time - I've got to get my legs stretched out!

I gave myself the first mile to feel tired, but despite the muscle fatigue, I still pushed myself to run faster than I have been. I kept thinking about something Coach J had said on Saturday night - he was talking about his own race, but said that he had to remember that pain doesn't always mean you have to slow down and he should trust in his training. I think sometimes that I'm too afraid of having to stop early in a run and walk, so I don't push myself as hard as I could. It's safer that way, and I know I can finish a longer run then, but I'll never move forward if I don't. I've got to trust my body and my training. Plus, it reminds me of something Liz Waterstraat said that if you push yourself and you fail, then you're not ready and you can adjust. But if you don't push yourself, you never know what you're capable of. I definitely want to move forward, so I guess I have to keep pushing myself! And here, I thought running period was going to be enough...

I also read a blog post last night about running in the heat, and the author said he likes to run when it's hot, because he knows that if he can do it, he'll have great runs when it's cooler. It was definitely hot and humid this morning, but my lungs were feeling a bit more open today and I knew I'd have to run faster the entire 3.4 miles to cut my time down (obviously). I can officially say that the day when I miss the wind has arrived - there was only the barest of breezes blowing every ten minutes or so (which may have been from trucks passing me) and I was wondering where my strong breezes were hiding! But if I could run faster in the direct sun, at the warmest temperature I've ever run at, with no breeze, then I can definitely have great runs when it's cooler!

As I passed a few of my landmarks, I was hoping that I would to finish about a minute ahead of my usual time. But as I passed the little beach by my house, the sun's strength really started to kick in, and I revised my goal to just running the entire 3.4 miles (I give up so easy, don't I?). I didn't slow down, but I told myself that I wasn't going to feel guilty if I didn't finish in less than 38 minutes.

You might think that running by the water is ideal on a hot day, because of a lovely bay breeze. But today, you would be wrong. Not only was there no breeze, but the sun was reflected in the water and it's power magnified, so it was as if two suns were shining on me as I ran. It felt SO much hotter than 72 degrees. This made me very sad, because I realized that I'll have to actually get up early to run. Like before 7am early. Crap.

But anyway, I made it down to my turn-around marker and headed back. I still felt pretty good, but could feel myself wearing out a bit. After I passed about two and a half miles, I had to slow down a fraction just to give myself enough of a break to keep going (and keep the air coming into my lungs). My mind really wanted me to slow down more, but a favorite phrase of the Marines popped into my head - "Pain is weakness leaving the body." Then I thought about what the Marines would do to me if they saw me running, and that made me laugh a little. Even though I know I would never survive a Marine Corps boot camp, I could at least run a little bit faster on a warm morning!

I was still checking my landmarks, and thought there was a slim possibility that I'd finish a minute earlier than usual. Coming into the last three blocks though, I knew it for a fact. I pushed myself as fast as I could go and managed to squeak out 3.41 miles in 36:25. Unfortunately, a group of about eight or nine young kids were waiting for the school bus right at the finish line of my run, so when I abruptly switched to walking, panting, and holding my side, I'm sure I scared them all into never wanting to run again. Gotta love an audience.

As I dragged myself back home, all I could think about was lying down on the cool tile floor in my entryway. I felt like I was on fire from the inside (it also didn't help that the sunburn on my back seemed to be a magnet for the sun, despite being covered with a tee shirt). So I made the executive decision to turn on the air conditioning and drink a big glass of cold water. I know I'm supposed to have some protein right after a run, but I felt sick enough that I couldn't even picture drinking a glass of milk. Fortunately, Special K puts out a protein water mix, with five grams of protein in it, so I thought that would be at least a little bit of protein. Being so overheated and tired, it tasted like the best water ever. Plus, I felt GREAT because I'd pushed myself and finished in under 38 minutes - two full minutes faster than my time on Saturday! Totally wiped out, sweat pouring off of me, but GREAT.

After plugging my run into mapmyrun.com, and wondering how it could possibily think that I was running a slower mile today than on Saturday, I decided to do some of my own math to figure out what my times have been like lately. Turns out algebra does come in handy in real life...darn! But it turned out to be a pretty rewarding exercise, since other than Saturday morning, I've gradually been decreasing my per mile time every time I run in the past two weeks! My first recorded run on mapmyrun.com (and I'm only looking at runs recorded there, since apparently I used to think I was running a lot further than I actually was!) was on 4/13, and then I didn't record a run until 4/21 (though I did run during those in between days). So it looks like this:

4/13 - 11:17 minute/mile

4/21 - 11:11 minute/mile

4/23 - 11:09 minute/mile

4/25 - 11: 16 minute/mile

4/27 - 10:41 minute/mile*

*see, that's where I broke 11 minutes! And not by a little bit either, but running 28 seconds faster per mile than the best time I had in that two week period!

I also checked my short run, which was definitely the best one ever - that was a 9:26 minute/mile. Holy cow! If you'll remember back to when I started this (or if you've recently looked at "why I'm running"), my fastest mile before starting this process was 12 minutes (probably more than 12 minutes, but 12 is the number I remember). So in about three months, I've shaved off almost three minutes. Which makes me feel pretty awesome!

Tomorrow is definitely an off day, though I will definitely be doing yoga (today too!). Then, I'm curious to see how my run will go on Wednesday - it will be my last long run before Saturday's 5k and it's supposed to be raining. But at least it will be cooler, so I'll be keeping a check on the weather to see if I need to be running at the crack of dawn or not!