Monday, March 8, 2010

An Open Letter to Jillian Michaels

Dear Jillian Michaels,

I hate you.  No, not because you're a bad person or anything (I'm convinced you're not), but because you say things like "you're on your way to being shredded" and "those abs aren't coming for free."  Also, because you make me do things I'm convinced are impossible, like endless plank poses combined with cardio, strength or abs, cardio jumping/punching with weights, and "rockstar" kicks.  Ugh.  Plus, where did you find these "buddies" of yours?  The "perfect" factory?  It's a bit disheartening to get to level three and realize that Anita - you know, the girl doing the "easy" version of everything - actually has zero percent body fat.  Thanks.

But maybe the reason I hate you most is because you're right and your workouts do work.  Though I thought I'd be stuck following Anita the entire way through (which I considered even a stretch on day one, level one), I've found that by day 10 of each level, I can follow you and, once in a brief while, Natalie.  I truly believed I was going to trip and injure myself attempting to do those rockstar kicks, but by day 3 of level 3, I was managing them.  And today, while resting my sneaker on the desk, I noticed a muscle in my calf.  Without flexing.  That wasn't there before.

So maybe the scale hasn't budged more than 3-ish pounds since I started.  And maybe I'm still getting winded walking up the stairs (thanks bronchial asthma).  But I no longer find myself limp in child's pose drenched in sweat at the end of circuit three (drenched in sweat, yes, but not keeled over).  And I think I feel a *little* bit stronger.  And even my new fitness coach at the gym (who I haven't met, just on the phone) says that the Shred is a good thing to do.  So perhaps instead of hating you, I thank you.  But I'm reserving judgment until the end of the Shred.  Six more days...


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