Sunday, February 15, 2009

Today, I hate running

Today was not one of my more inspired days for running, for a lot of reasons. It started with having trouble getting out of bed (literally) because I've managed to aggravate the pinched nerve in my neck. So I popped a couple of Advil and groaned my way into my running clothes (who needs their neck for running?). It was also colder than it has been, which wouldn't have been so bad except it is "windy Sunday" here again - it always seems to be really windy here on Sundays, as if the gods know that I have to put my garbage out and they want me to be running outside constantly to pick it back up. Plus, I had to increase my running time today - 90 seconds running, 2 minutes walking. As I started out, I was very crabby, and it only got worse as I ran/walked. I kept telling myself that of course there will be days that I hate running and I'm looking forward to changing my mental question from "Ugh, will I always hate this?" to "Will I always love this?" That didn't make the running any easier, but it motivated me to finish.

And that was the key - finishing the run/walk as the program dictated. Once I made it back home and my hatred of running waned a little, I realized I was actually pretty proud of myself. I didn't quit midway through; I made myself get up this morning and do it and that makes me feel pretty good! It's that pride that I want to remember the next time I have a bad day.

I read a blog the other day about finding motivation for running (well, in her case, training and coaching others for the Iron Man competition, but for me, running). The author talks about how a lot of type A people are attracted to this sport (no surprise there), but then they can lose their motivation if they're not able to be the "best." For me, even though I'm definitely a type A, I'm just glad that my motivation at this point is actually the journey itself. I do have external goals - running the 5K on Giants Draft Day & running the 18 mile LBI race - but every time I run and hate it, it reminds me that I want to get to the point where it's easier. Someday, I'll be able to run without my lungs and heart burning in the first 90 seconds. Someday, I'll have great leg muscles and be proud of what my body can do. Someday, I'll be able to outrun criminals chasing me (not that that's ever happened, but IF they were chasing me, I want to be able to outrun them!). Someday, I will like running. Just not today.

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