And that was the key - finishing the run/walk as the program dictated. Once I made it back home and my hatred of running waned a little, I realized I was actually pretty proud of myself. I didn't quit midway through; I made myself get up this morning and do it and that makes me feel pretty good! It's that pride that I want to remember the next time I have a bad day.
I read a blog the other day about finding motivation for running (well, in her case, training and coaching others for the Iron Man competition, but for me, running). The author talks about how a lot of type A people are attracted to this sport (no surprise there), but then they can lose their motivation if they're not able to be the "best." For me, even though I'm definitely a type A, I'm just glad that my motivation at this point is actually the journey itself. I do have external goals - running the 5K on Giants Draft Day & running the 18 mile LBI race - but every time I run and hate it, it reminds me that I want to get to the point where it's easier. Someday, I'll be able to run without my lungs and heart burning in the first 90 seconds. Someday, I'll have great leg muscles and be proud of what my body can do. Someday, I'll be able to outrun criminals chasing me (not that that's ever happened, but IF they were chasing me, I want to be able to outrun them!). Someday, I will like running. Just not today.