But I knew that if I skipped today, I'd find it pretty easy to continuing skipping runs until I was back to not running at all again.
So I put on my running clothes when I got up. And I had an ongoing debate with myself as to whether I'd get out there until I finally just went.
My thermometer said it was 43 degrees, but it felt more like 23 degrees. I was wishing I'd dressed a little bit warmer as I headed out into the wind. And because it was chilly, that might explain why I pushed myself a bit too hard on the first interval. I wanted to warm up FAST.
And the first part of the run was terrible. I was tired, cold, unmotivated, you name it. But I stuck with it. I didn't give up on the plan or myself.
By the second half, I was really really tired, but pushing myself. Watching some other runners recently made me realize that maybe I'm not picking my feet up enough when I run. So I tried focusing a bit more on form. That exhausted me a lot quicker on each interval, but I felt like I deserved the walking break then.
I pushed myself almost to the point of throwing up. And it felt good.
Had I skipped the run today, I would have told myself I was going to do it tomorrow (and I probably wouldn't have). Then, I would have beaten myself up all afternoon and evening for not just sucking it up and getting out there.
Instead, I did it. I did every interval that was planned, ran every step I was supposed to, and it was worth it.
I'm still tired, but now I also feel some muscle fatigue. And muscle fatigue means I did something hard (well, hard for me anyway).
So I'm still plugging away. This week's change to 90 seconds of running (which doesn't sound like a lot, and isn't a lot) has really kicked my butt. But I know I can do it, because I've done it before. I just have to stick with it and not let myself get in the way.
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I definitely relate on the having days where you just do not want to run! I was having one of these days when a friend of mine from high school was visiting. She is one of those girls who has run her whole life and always been very active. It seems to natural for her! I was complaining, saying I was going to skip my planned workout, etc and she looked at me and said something like "When was the last time you went to the gym, and actually regretted it? How often does that actually happen once you make yourself go? And compare that to how much you beat yourself up if you don't go, or how much you are agonizing over this?"
ReplyDeleteShe was right of course. How often do I actually come back and wish I hadn't gone? Sure, it happens, but it is rare. And of course, there are totally legitimate reasons to skip workouts, and I wouldn't want to become a person who misses out on things in life because I HAVE to do my planned workout rather than go spontaneously meet up with friends. But when I just don't feel like it, I hear her voice in my head, and most times, it reminds me that indeed, I do want to be doing it. And if I get out there and really don't, I can always stop!
So congrats on the perseverance and remember, it really usually is worth it!